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Post by Babycakes on Dec 2, 2015 0:35:11 GMT -4
I don't understand why her BFF Niecy Nash fixed her up with him if he was so terrible. I thought Sal was a friend/acquaintance of Niecy's husband. If I'm remembering correctly (and I'm probably not) Sherri was asking her friends if they knew any singe, available men, and Niecy or Niecy's husband gave Sherri Sal's name and number. He was allegedly a producer, but didn't work once all the while they dated and were engaged, and well into their marriage. And yet she still hustled on down to the invitro clinic. Whatever Sherri. WWJD? He wouldn't abandon a child, that's for damn sure. Fake ass Christians kill me.
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Post by Ginger on Dec 2, 2015 0:55:47 GMT -4
Well Niecy sounds just as dumb as Sherri because she said this about it to Essence: So it's not her fault for fixing her friend up with an unemployed con-artist loser, it's her friend's fault for liking him. I get what Niecy is trying to say, but if you are inviting eligible men to a matchmaking party, I think it's a reasonable assumption for the women at the party to make that you have vetted these men a little bit and given them your endorsement.
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Post by heathernumber1 on Dec 2, 2015 2:22:11 GMT -4
I don't understand how she can have no feelings for the baby whatsoever, donor egg or not. I'm in the very early part of the process of using a donor egg, and I already consider the mere idea of this potential baby "mine" and someone I can't wait to love. Granted, I'm doing this with my husband, not a man I'm hoping to divorce, but it seems very strange to care so little about the life of a child whose very existence you helped set in motion.
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Post by Babycakes on Dec 2, 2015 2:31:40 GMT -4
I don't understand how she can have no feelings for the baby whatsoever, donor egg or not. I'm in the very early part of the process of using a donor egg, and I already consider the mere idea of this potential baby "mine" and someone I can't wait to love. Granted, I'm doing this with my husband, not a man I'm hoping to divorce, but it seems very strange to care so little about the life of a child whose very existence you helped set in motion. Firstly, congratulations heathernumber1! I wish you and your husband a drama-free pregnancy, and a healthy happy baby! As for Sherri, this is what happens when you're blinded by anger. She's so mad at herself for getting caught looking like a fool, that she's trying to erase Sal and every reminder of that relationship from existence. You can't do that. Even if you're mad at your ex, you have to love the child more than you hate your ex. She'll have no peace until she releases her resentment of that child. She has to accept her part in bringing him into existence. She may not be his natural mother, but she brought him into this world. Hopefully down the line, she'll make peace with it, and try and have a relationship with the child.
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Post by eclair on Dec 2, 2015 8:51:27 GMT -4
I think she'll pair off with some other loser, and her attention will go to that relationship, and then to that breakup.
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Post by Neurochick on Dec 2, 2015 14:14:34 GMT -4
I don't feel sorry for Sherri at. all. She is a dummy, and has had ample opportunity to change that. She was so eager to be married, and say she had a HUZZZBENND, that she didn't do her homework. A simple google search could have prevented a lot this grief. She said yes to the first man that paid attention to her simple ass. All he had to do was say he went to church, and that he would help her with her son, and she was a goner. She was tired of being single, and he was looking for a meal ticket. She could have found someone genuinely in love with her, and that would be willing to love her son as well, if she had practiced patience. But no, she wanted all the pomp, and ceremony of being married, and she wanted it fast. She wanted the lavish wedding, but couldn't be bothered to see all the red flags that everyone else saw. How did she miss out on this the first time with Star Jones and Big Gay Al? And she now she wants to cry fraud, deception, and trickey. Nope. She went all in, and is unhappy with the results. She chose poorly, and now she's on the hook for 18 years. Sucks to be her. I only feel sorry for the baby. He's a pawn. Sal is scum, no question, he took advantage of a stupid woman, but Sherri has to take some responsibility for her part in all this. If the genders were reversed, no one would bat an eye at the court order. Though this is true, there are harsh realities when you are a black woman, no matter how famous. So many regular black women practice patience and end up alone. The truth is many black men aren't interested in black women. Sherri's problem is that she ONLY wanted a black man. Many of the young black women I know are married to men who aren't black, because they say black men aren't interested in black women, and that they're sorry as hell.
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Post by americanchai on Dec 2, 2015 15:13:47 GMT -4
Ahh, the memories of Star and Al - at least they didn't bring any little ones into that mess. Or the author of How Stella Got Her Groove Back and her big gay Jamaican man? You are probably right that there is a dearth of good black men who can live up to the standards of strong, successful black women (for whatever reason), but they've still gotta use their heads and not their fantasies. I see what Niecy's saying - Sherri was going to marry a loser at that point because she was asking the universe for the wrong things.
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Post by GirlyGhoul on Dec 2, 2015 15:32:39 GMT -4
I don't understand how she can have no feelings for the baby whatsoever, donor egg or not. I'm in the very early part of the process of using a donor egg, and I already consider the mere idea of this potential baby "mine" and someone I can't wait to love. Granted, I'm doing this with my husband, not a man I'm hoping to divorce, but it seems very strange to care so little about the life of a child whose very existence you helped set in motion. Firstly, congratulations heathernumber1! I wish you and your husband a drama-free pregnancy, and a healthy happy baby! As for Sherri, this is what happens when you're blinded by anger. She's so mad at herself for getting caught looking like a fool, that she's trying to erase Sal and every reminder of that relationship from existence. You can't do that. Even if you're mad at your ex, you have to love the child more than you hate your ex. She'll have no peace until she releases her resentment of that child. She has to accept her part in bringing him into existence. She may not be his natural mother, but she brought him into this world. Hopefully down the line, she'll make peace with it, and try and have a relationship with the child. I think it's pretty obvious she wanted a man more than a baby. She must have at some point liked the idea of having a baby with this man (maybe as a means of keeping said man) But ultimately, it was the man she really wanted. When the man dumped her and went straight into scam mode, she wanted off the hook for the baby. If she'd really wanted the baby in the first place, she would have called his bluff and demanded sole custody of the child with expectations of support from HIM rather than the other way around. Since he was a loser with no income of his own (beyond selling turkeys door to door apparently) and obviously trying to use the baby to get cash from her, she would have easily been granted custody- even if the child biologically wasn't hers. The only sticky thing there was if the surrogate mother started wanting custody- but its my understanding that was never the case. But Sherri tried to wash her hands of that baby the instant the man was gone- so I think that shows where her priorities lay all along. Poor kid, it's not the baby's fault. And like heathernumber1 stated, most people who start the egg donor process actually WANT the baby and are willing to take care of the child. But I think what Sherri ultimately wanted was the ability to say 'Look at me! I got a MAN! and now look! Me and the MAN have a BABY so we're in this 4EVAR me and this MAN!!' Once more, poor Sherri's not really wanted baby :-(!
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Post by LurkerNan on Dec 7, 2015 18:01:37 GMT -4
I don't think Sally was a con artist, but he had a specific role in the relationship. When you reverse the facts without the gender being an issue, what do we have here? :
1) A celebrity meets, dates and marries a person who is unemployed. They mutually agree one is the breadwinner and one is the homebody. 2) They get pregnant, however which way it happens. They both mutually agree the baby is theirs. 3) They get divorced, and the homebody clearly has more time and energy to devote to the baby-to-be. 4) The homebody requests child and spousal support from the breadwinner. 5) The breadwinner tries to wash their hands of the baby and former spouse.
If this was any male celebrity and female homebody, we would not even bat an eyelash at the request for support. How many sports figures and other celebrities date then impregnate women and end up with multiple households to support?
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Post by Ginger on Dec 7, 2015 20:00:01 GMT -4
I don't think Sally was a con artist, but he had a specific role in the relationship. When you reverse the facts without the gender being an issue, what do we have here? : 1) A celebrity meets, dates and marries a person who is unemployed. They mutually agree one is the breadwinner and one is the homebody. 2) They get pregnant, however which way it happens. They both mutually agree the baby is theirs. 3) They get divorced, and the homebody clearly has more time and energy to devote to the baby-to-be. 4) The homebody requests child and spousal support from the breadwinner. 5) The breadwinner tries to wash their hands of the baby and former spouse. If this was any male celebrity and female homebody, we would not even bat an eyelash at the request for support. How many sports figures and other celebrities date then impregnate women and end up with multiple households to support? That's very true, but women who have children with famous athletes or other celebrities are also shaded and called golddiggers. 18 years, 18 years, got one of your kids got you for 18 years... I do think the shade Mr. Sally got for being "unemployed" would not have been thrown at the female spouse of a celebrity, who would simply be called a "housewife". However, he wasn't really a "house husband" since he had no job when Sherri met him or dated him...that really is just unemployed.
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