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Post by chonies on Apr 24, 2017 12:15:43 GMT -4
I agree it's not like parenting is the only way to show love or commitment to the world/community. So true. Would anyone have dared tell Mother Teresa that she was selfish for being childless? At the risk of being difficult, this proves the point, though. Mother Teresa completely surrendered herself to a life of austere religious service* and therefore demonstrated that she sacrificed her own wants and desires, and it was for a purpose larger than herself. Essentially, if you don't have children, you'd better be doing something Noble and Important with your time. *Yes, I've read the Hitchens book. I'm working in generalities here. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 30, 2024 21:03:54 GMT -4
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2017 14:52:19 GMT -4
I always like to refer to this quote from Elizabeth Gilbert: I figured out fairly early on in my life that I belong solidly in the Aunt category. I'd be a horrible mother, but I'm an awesome Aunt. My brother's kids and my best friend's kids are always happy to see me and I get to enjoy spending time with them without having to deal with all the hard stuff. Except for when they ask me unexpectedly deep questions when their parents aren't around. Like when my then 10-year-old nephew basically interrogated me about what life was like as a single, childless person. Turns out his plan at the time for when he grew up was to move to NYC and never get married or have kids. I'm the only single & childless adult he knows and I'm also the only person he knows who lives in a city, so I got all the questions about it. |
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Nysha
Blueblood
Posts: 1,029
Jul 7, 2007 2:19:58 GMT -4
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Post by Nysha on Apr 25, 2017 7:26:56 GMT -4
It's not like we have a shortage of people on the planet. Humans have gone forth & multiplied in abundance. There is no reason for trying to guilt adults into procreating. And adoption isn't for everyone, either. I've adopted & raised 5 kids, am doing it again for my grandson, and when things get stressful, I live vicariously through my childless friends.
OMG, there are people, people I know, who can go out at night just because someone called from a bar and said come join us! They aren't dead tired b/c their kid doesn't sleep at night. Or too broke to pay for a babysitter. Or feel guilty b/c the kid has been in daycare all day & now they're leaving him to go play. They can get up in the middle of the night w/o stepping on Legos or tiny action figures. They have never watched a weekend marathon of Special Agent Oso!
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Post by ratscabies on Apr 25, 2017 7:40:02 GMT -4
I feel nothing but pity for anyone who hasn't wallowed in an Agent Oso marathon.
Next you'll be telling us Fez was the apex of Wilmer Valderama's career!
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Post by batmom on Apr 25, 2017 13:41:21 GMT -4
When I was pregnant and single at 21, I was given no shortage of reasons why having a child was not a good idea. When I was married and almost 30 and doubting whether or not to have a second child I was given no shortage of reasons why I must have a second. Conclusion: there is no good, logical reason to have children. You either want to or you don't. And nobody should be talked into one*.
* don't worry. I'm quite happy that I had my second. I was not coerced.
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Post by Auroranorth on Apr 26, 2017 12:27:48 GMT -4
It took me years to get my mom to stop saying variations of "never say never" whenever I mentioned not wanting kids. If she still thinks it, she at least keeps it to herself now. And my extended family is smart enough not to even bring the subject up in my presence. And luckily for me I'm in a profession (librarian) for which the childless spinster is a stereotype so my single child-free lifestyle is not regarded as unusual. There's lots of us where I work. Topic: Good for Ina and Jeffrey. As a fellow librarian, I agree. I actually do like kids. For a little while. And then I hand them back.  |
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Post by chonies on Apr 26, 2017 12:43:20 GMT -4
It took me years to get my mom to stop saying variations of "never say never" whenever I mentioned not wanting kids. If she still thinks it, she at least keeps it to herself now. And my extended family is smart enough not to even bring the subject up in my presence. And luckily for me I'm in a profession (librarian) for which the childless spinster is a stereotype so my single child-free lifestyle is not regarded as unusual. There's lots of us where I work. Topic: Good for Ina and Jeffrey. As a fellow librarian, I agree. I actually do like kids. For a little while. And then I hand them back. Yes--the anomaly in the hallway is the one male librarian in my department who has two kids. In fact, now that I think about it, only the two of the five male librarians have children, and only one of 11 female librarians has a child, and she only has the one. Of course, it's hard to know who made the choice and who was affected by circumstance, lack of opportunity, or fertility issues. Two of the female librarians are in the youngish/newlywed stage of their lives, so that might change, but still. |
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Post by Mugsy on Apr 26, 2017 18:34:24 GMT -4
So obviously, books cause infertility.
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Post by mrspickles on Apr 26, 2017 18:45:31 GMT -4
So obviously, books cause infertility. Reminds me of the time my crazy ex mother in law was explaining a study she'd read that said that the more education a woman had the less kids she had. I thanked her for having her son before she finished her doctoral program, and she of course assumed that I just didn't understand the results of the study. Nope, just being a smart alec! |
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Nysha
Blueblood
Posts: 1,029
Jul 7, 2007 2:19:58 GMT -4
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Post by Nysha on Apr 27, 2017 13:50:45 GMT -4
So obviously, books cause infertility. That may explain why all my kids are adopted! |
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