Heartthrobs You Don't Get

[aibohphobia]

I have had a lot of crushes on "hearthrobs", but they never seem to last long usually because I see their true personality come out. There are cases though where everyone seems to think that ____ is the most handsome/sexiest guy on the planet, but I just don't get it. I don't know if it's because I'm deliberately contrary sometimes or what though.

Guys I've Crushed On but the Love Has Faded:

Russell Crowe: I thought he was very crush worthy up until he won the Oscar, and then the asshatness started like taking his Oscar on the road and showing it to all his fans when his band was touring. I may have been able to write it off, but something seemed very toolish about it even if the fan girls loved it.

Colin Farrell: I thought I was onto something first after Tigerland first came out, but it soon turned to "I can't believe I ever liked him" after he started getting more and more attention for being a fame whore instead going the Russell Crowe way, in the positive actor way, not the toolish behavior way.

Vin Diesel: I'm embarrassed to admit this now. There was just something very appealing about his deep voice, but then I heard about all those stories about not showing his Vin Diesel guns unless he got more money, and asking for more like $20 million a picture even though he really hasn't had a hit on his own, and the love quickly died. Plus, he seems like Lou Ferrigno in that I can barely understand what he's saying anyway because he mushes all his words together or something, which neutralizes the appeal of his voice.

Josh Harnett: I loved him after The Faculty, but I guess it was just the character that I was attracted to because in other films or in real life, I just don't get his appeal at all.

Owen Wilson: I don't know what it was, but I think it goes back to someone mentioning awhile ago that his nose kept getting more crooked, and I realized it was true, and then my crush faded.

Brendan Frasier: I had such a crush on him during the Encino Man/School Ties era, but I think he lost me smoewhere around the millionth remake of an old cartoon series.

Guys I've Never Saw the Appeal of:

Jude Law: I think he was very pretty at one time, but then I thought he was too pretty for me. Now he's lost all of his prettiness at the same rate that he's lost his air.

Johnny Depp: I think he's a great actor, but I don't get the squeeworthiness for some reason. Although, if I were Keira Knightly's character, I would have chose Jack.

Which brings me to Orlando Bloom: I just don't get the appeal at all especially when someone was trying to defend a character from the Harry Potter series books, and said that looking like a rat was actually a positive complement just look at Orlando Bloom.

Adam Levine/John Mayer/Any Other Sensitive Rocker: Ugh, I just want to punch their wimpy little faces.

Benicio del Toro: Sometimes I can sense that sexy ugliness especially in his films, but in real life when he shows up looking all gray and decrept, I just can't see how he's hearthrob.

Matt Damon: He seems like a really nice guy, but I just can't get over the pugness.

[Deleted]

Two words: Brad.Pitt.

[susyhomewrecker]

I heard years ago that Pitt stinks. Somehow, I am not surprised.

I never found him attractive before that, but if anything can put me off a person it's finding out they reek.

[speciousreasoning]

I've ranted and raved about the "pretty boy" thing before but here we go:

Nick Lachey - I almost got kicked out of my friend's office for saying he's dumb frat boy unattractive.

Heath Ledger - Just yuck. Somehow I get the vibe that he's a huge ass.

Jake Gyeololololl (still can't spell his name) - He looks like his sister and she's fuggggleee. Plus the puppy dog, little boy lost look makes me want to punch him (or tell him to be a man - I get confused which one sometimes).

Brad Pitt - Oh he's pretty. Sometimes. In certain lights. When I can't see his damaged skin and pock marks. Okay he was really attractive to me in Ocean's Eleven, but otherwise? Blah.

Hollywood, do remember actual real men that you had in movies? Yeah, I miss them.

[Deleted]

Russell Crowe
Orlando Bloom--Although I think what I find to be unattractive on him (his soft, feminine features) might be why other people find him attractive. He's cute enough, but utterly forgetable.
Justin Timberlake--His nose looks like a penis and he reminds me of Brian Austin Green from 90210 who reminded me of that lame-ass white "rapper" Snow.
Jake Gyllenhaal--He looks like a cartoon. I don't get the appeal of his looks or his supposed talent.
Benjamin Mackenzie--Just. Gross.

That said, Colin Farrell may be a walking open wound, but I still adore him. Same thing with Ewan McGregor. If I were young enough to have posters on my wall, they'd be there.

[kafka]

larisa said:

I hate to say it, because I've seen his thread, but... Alan Rickman. I think he's awesome, yes. But sexy? I just can't see it.

As the person who started the Alan Rickman thread , let me just say that I definitely understand your point. As a matter of fact, I don't think he's a heart throb, by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe it's just a definitional issue but, as I define "heartthrob", it's someone who is seen by a wide portion of society and/or the culture to be dreamily swoony and the epitome of handsomeness.

I don't think anyone --- fan or otherwise --- would classify Alan Rickman as such. Again, I certainly wouldn't.

To me, he is one of those actors whose abilities and talent transform the characters he plays into men who take over your imagination, dominate the screen and actually make you forget about his face, while simultaneously inspiring huge degrees of admiration and respect. And, it is because of this ability and the way he transforms the characters, that you end up just lusting for him.

There is also The Voice.

What he does to my senses with that one single thing is a thousand times more powerful than any aesthetically and objectively "perfect" accumulation of parts in a face. IOW, Alan Rickman's voice will drive me to distraction and dirty thoughts in a way that Brad Pitt's supposedly perfect face will never do.

So, no, he's not handsome and he's certainly no heartthrob, but I think he's hotter than 70% of the supposed pin-ups and idols in Hollywood now.

[/end infommercial Paid For By The Panting Fans Of Alan Rickman] ;D

[Deleted]

Heartthrobs I don't get:

Tom Cruise
George Clooney
Luke and Owen Wilson
Heath Ledger
Usher
Jamie Fox
Dermot Mulroney
Vin Diesel

I could name a whole lot more, but I'll stop for now.

[Eeyore]

Brad Pitt. I suppose the features are pretty, but he doesn't ooze any sexy whatsoever.

Jake Gyllenhaal has always reminded me of a Picasso painting. I always want to straighten out his features in my mind.

Usher, nice abs, otherwise totally fug and his arrogant personality just cements the deal.

Justin Timberlake, again another nice body, but fug face, fug hair, fug voice (singing and speaking) and he looks like he'd be really bad in bed.

Benicio Del Toro just looks filthy to me, even in a tux.

P Diddy, if anyone even considers him a heart throb. Just. ewww.

Jude Law creeps me out with his weird oversized head.

Back in the day, I never understood the appeal of either Jason Priestly or Luke Perry.



Ewan, on the other hand, I would totally do, either before or after my three-way with Alan Rickman and Sean Bean.

[incognito]

Daniel Radcliffe! That's my biggest one. To me, he only looks remotely cute under very limited circumstances (i.e. when he's being Harry Potter and not smiling...on the GOF DVD cover, I think he looks pretty cute). Otherwise, the kid is downright fugly. It seems like in any candid photo I've seen of him, he looks extremely sickly. And when he smiles...oh jeez, it's scary. I swear, he has no upper lip! And this is just me, but I just don't have a thing for PIFs.

(Okay, now I'm going to hell because I made fun of a kid.)

Viggo Mortensen: He's okay, I guess, in the looks department. Your generic handsome type. But I just find him too pretentious and earnest for my liking. although I guess the concept of a "heartthrob" is based more on the superficial aspects, so maybe he doesn't really fit here.

George Clooney: He just looks smarmy and smug. There's more I could go into, but it seems like the George Clooney thread has said it all.

[kafka]

eeyore said:

my three-way with Alan Rickman and Sean Bean.

YO! Woman! Get in line!

I do find Dermot Mulroney attractive. Attractive and sexy.

He sometimes reminds me of another actor, Edward Burns, but strangely, I don't consider HIM attractive at all. Don't get what all the fuss is about.

And, I know this is probably heresy, but I've never though Harrison Ford was hot, appealing, sexy or anything.

I'm ashamed to admit that I once though William Baldwin was terribly sexy but nothing since Backdraft. Not even Sliver which came out soon thereafter. It's odd, since I was SO crazy about him at one point. And now, anything with the Baldwin name just makes me wince.

I also don't think Mark Ruffalo is attractive.

Shouldn't we be Equal Opportunity and bring up Hearttrobs of the female persuasion, so that the guys on the board can also participate? I think it's only fair and I'll start with a few whom I can't see the male fantasy and who are all FUG in my eyes:

Paris (Duh), Britney *even in her prime* (which is a sad thing to say about a girl her age), Kate Beckinsale, Sienna Miller, Katie Holmes, Lindsay Lohan..... should I just short-circuit the list by saying 99% of the people in the current public eye in Hollywood?