The Works of V.C. Andrews

[Deleted]

So I needed something to read in the tub last night, and picked up my copy of FiTA.

Oh man, the scene at the beginning, where the cops come to tell them about the car accident? Hilarious.

"According the accounts, which we've recorded, there was a motorist driving a blue Ford weaving in and out of the lefthand lane, apparently drunk, and he crashed head-on into your husband's vehicle. But it seems your husband must have seen the accident coming, for he swerved to avoid a head-on collision, but a piece of machinery had fallen from another car, or truck, and this kept him from completing his corrective defesive driving maneuver, which would have saved his life. But as it was, your husband's much heavier car turned over several times, and stil he might have survived, but an oncoming truck, unable to stop, crashed into his car, and again the Cadillac spun over...and then...it caught on fire."

So the first head-on crash didn't kill him. The resulting rollover didn't kill him. The second crash didn't kill him, and the SECOND rollover didn't kill him. Nope, it all would have been fine, if only the car hadn't caught on fire!

Who talks like that? What kind of evil cop would give out those sorts of details when telling a family their father is dead? Man. The writing in this book is even worse than I remembered.

[Deleted]

Don't forget the stuffed animals they bring in, that were supposed to be for the twins!

[deelight]

I'm re-reading Dawn right now. In addition to the millions of other clieches/phrases that have already been mentioned, I came across this gem: "I smiled at my reflection. The girl in the mirror smiled back in satisfaction."

[dwanollah]

That particular series was astoundingly craptastic. She was just pork stupid.

[Deleted]

That excerpt from FiTA is hilarious! Corrective defensive driving maneuver!

I've only read on V.C. book and don't remember anything about it, aside from the main character committed incest. That narrows it down. I've seen the FiTA movie, though, on late night TV some time. Man, I wish I could see that again.

[dwanollah]

Oh, poorfrances, you know not the levels of spectaularity you're missing! Get thee to a used bookstore, dear, pronto!

Man. The writing in this book is even worse than I remembered.

Try reading some of it out loud. Gives George Lucas a run for his money.

[heavenleigh2001]

I've only read on V.C. book and don't remember anything about it, aside from the main character committed incest. That narrows it down.

Actually it doesn't, every book has someone committing incest in it. And then the girl falls in love with the person she thought was her brother, but he really wasn't.

[Ripley]

I think poorfrances may have been being sarcastic with the incest comment.

And I would advise going to the library for your VC Andrews fix. You surely don't want to pay to turn your mind to mush, do you?

[Deleted]

You can get them at used bookstores pretty damned cheap, though.

I remember in the second Ruby book, Giselle embarassing everyone at school. "You don't smoke or sneak out? What do you do-read fan mags and masturbate?"

I would so have loved for just ONE person to snark back, "No, I read National Geographic and masturbate. Duh."

[ladymadonna]

And I would advise going to the library for your VC Andrews fix. You surely don't want to pay to turn your mind to mush, do you?

LOL, I've been so captivated by the VC evil spell that I actually own all of the books up to the first in the Willow series. I got too creeped out by the fact that the main character has the same name as my oldest daughter that I was successfully able to abstain from future books. (I've never been able to get into Buffy, either, because of Willow. That's my daughter, dude! And I didn't name her for BTVS, dammit!)

But, umm, if I'm taking my kids to the pool, or flying somewhere or something, I will totally take something from the FiTA, Dawn, Heaven, Ruby, even the incredibly stupid Rain series to read. Because it's all mindless fun. Hey, at least I'm reading.

Hi, I'm ladymadonna, and I'm addicted to VC Andrews books.