Advice Columns

[Deleted]

Well, as someone who didn't go to prom and was subject to the same gasps and why nots as the letter writer, I'll have to agree to disagree with you. It was annoying as fuck to be told I should make myself do something of no consequence just because.

It's only the prom, it's not a big deal. People should only go to it if they want to and the letter writer clearly does not want to. Prudence was off-base.

[Xerox]

I wonder if this is really real...

Dear Margo: Our daughter started college a year ago, and we’ve noticed during her visits home that she’s not the sweet, innocent girl we sent away for higher learning. We raised her with strong Christian beliefs, but lately she’s saying that she’s joined an atheist club on campus and is questioning everything we taught her. Now my husband refuses to let her in the house and is threatening to turn her in to the FBI. I’ve tried to cure our daughter and reconcile with her, but nothing seems to work. I’ve prayed over her at night while she sleeps, enlisted friends in a phone prayer tree and even spoken to my priest about the possibility of an exorcism. I’m at my wits’ end. How can I recover my daughter and keep her from hell? — God-fearing

[Malle Babbe]

I read that and couldn't help but catch a whiff of troll. You'd think that someone that religious (God-fearing? More like God Panic-Attacking) would've sent their kid to Ave Maria, Liberty U or the like. Still, folks like that are out there, and being under the strain of "God is watching EVERYTHING that you do and will nuke you for making the SLIGHTEST mistake!" either makes a kid a basketcase or an atheist. I have a cousin that went to a fundie Catholic college and had a classmate who was so depressed she told her that she wanted to have sex before killing herself so she'd be sure to go to hell.

Life is going to give you plenty of strife and trouble to deal with, I don't understand mentally lacerating oneself with cosmic dread on top of that. Then again, I've been on Zoloft since the Clinton administration....

[huntergrayson]

What exactly do these alleged "atheist clubs" do when they gather? Because I don't think NOT worshipping the imaginary dude in the sky and NOT reading the bible really is time-consuming.

First order of business: There is no God.

Second order of business: ? ! ? ??!??

[eclair]

1. No God.
2. Who brought cookies to today's meeting?
3. Let's go harass the campus Christians and the Jews for Jesus!

[Malle Babbe]

4. Read aloud 20+ page paper on how one would make sweet, sweet love to Richard Dawkins...

[spider]

May 24, 2009 4:18:14 GMT -4 Xerox said:

I wonder if this is really real...

Dear Margo: Our daughter started college a year ago, and we’ve noticed during her visits home that she’s not the sweet, innocent girl we sent away for higher learning. We raised her with strong Christian beliefs, but lately she’s saying that she’s joined an atheist club on campus and is questioning everything we taught her. Now my husband refuses to let her in the house and is threatening to turn her in to the FBI. I’ve tried to cure our daughter and reconcile with her, but nothing seems to work. I’ve prayed over her at night while she sleeps, enlisted friends in a phone prayer tree and even spoken to my priest about the possibility of an exorcism. I’m at my wits’ end. How can I recover my daughter and keep her from hell? — God-fearing

Troll. Talking about a priest and exorcism implies that she's Catholic but all the other language like "prayer phone tree" is straight out of the Jim-Bob's Church of Christ the Lord handbook. And those people would probably cut their hand off if an RC priest shook it, they definitely wouldn't have one of their own. Besides regular priests don't do exorcisms (you need an extra magic one for that). Not even a good fake by someone who knows the ins and outs of the group they're mocking I'm afraid

[Malle Babbe]

Indeed. If you were to approach a RCC priest, claiming that Satan was telling you to choke your grandma, the first thing that they would ask is why you weren't seeing a doctor. The Church has its problems, but it *does* acknowledge that schizophrenia and epilepsy are real, and that it is wonderful that we live in an era where meds are available for such conditions.

[Deleted]

May 25, 2009 5:07:44 GMT -4 @spider said:

May 24, 2009 4:18:14 GMT -4 Xerox said:

I wonder if this is really real...

Troll. Talking about a priest and exorcism implies that she's Catholic but all the other language like "prayer phone tree" is straight out of the Jim-Bob's Church of Christ the Lord handbook. And those people would probably cut their hand off if an RC priest shook it, they definitely wouldn't have one of their own. Besides regular priests don't do exorcisms (you need an extra magic one for that). Not even a good fake by someone who knows the ins and outs of the group they're mocking I'm afraid

I waffle on troll. Catholics aren't the only religious group that do exorcism, and a lot of the weird fundy groups that think like the questioner think everything's caused by demons. The parents could also have sent the kid to the state college instead of a religious school, either because it's cheaper or because the kid got serious scholarship dollars.

However, I don't see parents with those kinds of belief systems writing to Dear Margo for advice - she's always struck me as being on the liberal side, and not likely to say "Absolutely - call the FBI and schedule that exorcism. Your daughter needs to be SAVED! Hallelujah!"

[spider]

Yeah but they don't have "priests", that's a Catholic term. If she'd said pastor it would have been more believable.