Will Smith

[tiggertoo]

Funny, I read Denzel’s comments and they pissed me off. Because it was all about Will. Not a care for Chris Rock, no rushing over to check on him?

I was also annoyed by the standing ovation. Peer pressure? Celebrity circle jerk? Shock, confusion, group think?

I didn’t know about Trevor Noah and Will being buddies.

[hildymatildy]

No, we shouldn't stop blaming Jada for her part in Will's actions. She is the reason he did what he did. He thought it was funny until he realized she didn't. Her social cues told Will how she felt. They have been together for over 25 years he knows exactly how to read her without her saying a word. She may have been silent through all of this, but she is a part of it too.

Will's poor decision to act as he did was entirely his own choice, but it was based on her, so she is not blameless. Maybe she knew her response would insense Will, maybe she didn't. Having been married over 20 years myself I can tell by my husband's facial expressions and body language and I know when something has set him off and that I will get an earful about it later (and if I need to get up and address it) and vice versa. Maybe her blame is small, but it's still there. We also know their marriage is stressed and that also plays into it. The situation has lots of shades of gray.

I keep hearing that she has been open about her struggle with alopecia, but I find it odd how few people knew about it. It says a lot that no one was paying attention to her.

As for Denzel's words - That is one of the oldest and lamest defenses in the book "the devil made me do it". That's such a shitty excuse.

[petitesuite]

Apr 4, 2022 12:59:05 GMT -4 hildymatildy said:

No, we shouldn't stop blaming Jada for her part in Will's actions. She is the reason he did what he did. He thought it was funny until he realized she didn't. Her social cues told Will how she felt. They have been together for over 25 years he knows exactly how to read her without her saying a word. She may have been silent through all of this, but she is a part of it too.

Will's poor decision to act as he did was entirely his own choice, but it was based on her, so she is not blameless. Maybe she knew her response would insense Will, maybe she didn't. Having been married over 20 years myself I can tell by my husband's facial expressions and body language and I know when something has set him off and that I will get an earful about it later (and if I need to get up and address it) and vice versa. Maybe her blame is small, but it's still there. We also know their marriage is stressed and that also plays into it. The situation has lots of shades of gray.

This is insane. I am sorrier than I can say that you feel like taking on this level of management of another adult's feelings is just part of being married.

[laurenj]

Apr 4, 2022 13:43:15 GMT -4 petitesuite said:

Apr 4, 2022 12:59:05 GMT -4 hildymatildy said:

No, we shouldn't stop blaming Jada for her part in Will's actions. She is the reason he did what he did. He thought it was funny until he realized she didn't. Her social cues told Will how she felt. They have been together for over 25 years he knows exactly how to read her without her saying a word. She may have been silent through all of this, but she is a part of it too.

Will's poor decision to act as he did was entirely his own choice, but it was based on her, so she is not blameless. Maybe she knew her response would insense Will, maybe she didn't. Having been married over 20 years myself I can tell by my husband's facial expressions and body language and I know when something has set him off and that I will get an earful about it later (and if I need to get up and address it) and vice versa. Maybe her blame is small, but it's still there. We also know their marriage is stressed and that also plays into it. The situation has lots of shades of gray.

This is insane. I am sorrier than I can say that you feel like taking on this level of management of another adult's feelings is just part of being married.

I don't blame Jada for Will's response, but the theory of "oh shit, we're going to fight about this for a week if I laugh at this or if I don't say something" is something I could understand IF this had happened at say, a dinner party and also if "saying something" is what he actually did. That's an argument that I could see happening between significant others or even friends in a social setting.

But this was live television, these 2 people have been in the public eye for decades, I can't fathom the logic that brought him to the thought that assault and screaming were the ways to express himself or stand up for her in that moment.

I do have quick reflexes and I have stepped in to help strangers before and I was completely bewildered by what had happened. I think because it was the Oscars, where there are often bits, from Rob Lowe dancing with Snow White to David Letterman trying to make Uma-Oprah a thing, many people, myself included, though that the whole thing was a very unfunny staged joke.

It really did look staged up until the screaming. Even the slap itself almost looked like a movie slap. If I'd been watching it in real time, I could easily mistake it for a bit, but I watched it after it was all over the news already.

[Ginger]

I do not hold Jada responsible for Will's actions at all.

I do hold Jada responsible for her actions post-ceremony - to put on a new gown, accompany her husband down the red carpet to the Vanity Fair after party, smile for the cameras, dance and have fun like nothing had happened, and tell the media it had been "a beautiful night".

Will's lack of remorse for ruining the night was most evident in how he behaved at the after party, and she was right there with him partying. If either of them had understood the significance of what Will had done, they both would have left quietly after the ceremony.

[cremetangerine82]

Apr 4, 2022 17:21:03 GMT -4 Ginger said:

I do not hold Jada responsible for Will's actions at all.

I do hold Jada responsible for her actions post-ceremony - to put on a new gown, accompany her husband down the red carpet to the Vanity Fair after party, smile for the cameras, dance and have fun like nothing had happened, and tell the media it had been "a beautiful night".

Will's lack of remorse for ruining the night was most evident in how he behaved at the after party, and she was right there with him partying. If either of them had understood the significance of what Will had done, they both would have left quietly after the ceremony.

Yes, to all of this! And Jaden’s comment seemed to endorse the violence committed by his dad, which is incredibly offensive and unhealthy. Sometimes, you should be better than your parents and not have this toxic masculinity passed down to another generation.

[cubanitafresca]

That whole "the devil got into him" line infuriates me almost more than the actual slap. He CHOSE to let the devil into him. He CHOSE to physically attack a man over a stupid joke. That devil garbage is just a refusal to accept responsibility for his own bad behavior.

And worst of all, he didn't think (and probably still doesn't) think he did anything wrong until he started to get dragged the next day and realized that he might face actual consequences.

The fact that Rock is getting so little support really upsets me.

[cremetangerine82]

Apr 4, 2022 18:30:38 GMT -4 cubanitafresca said:

That whole "the devil got into him" line infuriates me almost more than the actual slap. He CHOSE to let the devil into him. He CHOSE to physically attack a man over a stupid joke. That devil garbage is just a refusal to accept responsibility for his own bad behavior.

And worst of all, he didn't think (and probably still doesn't) think he did anything wrong until he started to get dragged the next day and realized that he might face actual consequences.

The fact that Rock is getting so little support really upsets me.

Will Smith was definitely thinking that Denzel Washington had his back, making that “the Devil comes for you” in order to shift blame, yet Denzel Washington’s reaction to Will Smith mentioning him was very stonefaced and unhappy-looking.

Denzel, Will was 100% behind The Slap^TM of Chris Rock, not the Devil. This Christian sanctimony is really gross, along with the non-support given to Chris Rock, who was the person who got slapped!

What’s notable is how Chris Rock had his arms behind his back, he was no physical threat to Will. It’s disgusting how little support there was for Chris, but Denzel and Tyler Perry had to coddle Will?

Thanks, SNL’s “Weekend Update”!

[hellsbells]

Apr 4, 2022 13:43:15 GMT -4 petitesuite said:

Apr 4, 2022 12:59:05 GMT -4 hildymatildy said:

No, we shouldn't stop blaming Jada for her part in Will's actions. She is the reason he did what he did. He thought it was funny until he realized she didn't. Her social cues told Will how she felt. They have been together for over 25 years he knows exactly how to read her without her saying a word. She may have been silent through all of this, but she is a part of it too.

Will's poor decision to act as he did was entirely his own choice, but it was based on her, so she is not blameless. Maybe she knew her response would insense Will, maybe she didn't. Having been married over 20 years myself I can tell by my husband's facial expressions and body language and I know when something has set him off and that I will get an earful about it later (and if I need to get up and address it) and vice versa. Maybe her blame is small, but it's still there. We also know their marriage is stressed and that also plays into it. The situation has lots of shades of gray.

This is insane. I am sorrier than I can say that you feel like taking on this level of management of another adult's feelings is just part of being married.

It took me a couple years of therapy to realize I don't need to manage my partner's emotions. (Something Will could benefit from, apparently.) But what's funny about my own inclination is that I would have been LIVID if my partner stepped in and did something like what Will did on my behalf. I can handle my own conflicts. I'm not a child.

[esperanza]

Apr 4, 2022 17:21:03 GMT -4 Ginger said:

I do not hold Jada responsible for Will's actions at all.

I do hold Jada responsible for her actions post-ceremony - to put on a new gown, accompany her husband down the red carpet to the Vanity Fair after party, smile for the cameras, dance and have fun like nothing had happened, and tell the media it had been "a beautiful night".

Will's lack of remorse for ruining the night was most evident in how he behaved at the after party, and she was right there with him partying. If either of them had understood the significance of what Will had done, they both would have left quietly after the ceremony.

I completely agree with this.

It’s been over a week, and I’m still so disgusted with how all of this turned out. It’s not even about the slap as much anymore. It’s about a bully who committed a violent act against another human being and him being coddled and comforted and celebrated, while it seems like no one checked on the victim. And yes, Chris Rock is the victim here, no matter how one may feel about him, or his joke, that is who he was in this moment. I am glad that he is facing consequences now, but the way the Academy handles it is pathetic and that’s saying it lightly. They failed, the producer failed. That man should have been escorted out, period. And quite frankly, the people that gave him a standing ovation failed. Miserably. Not giving a damn that he slapped another human being. Not even checking to see if Rock was ok. But we’ve seen it from them before with shitty human beings like Polanski.

And why should Will feel bad after? He was coddled all night like the slap didn’t even happen. Of course he was going to party with his family, no one held him accountable at all!