Worst. Movie. Ever.

[casper]

I was so disappointed in Ocean's 12 because I really enjoyed the hell out of the 2002 Ocean's 11. It was just so damn smug that I wanted to cry.

It isn't the worst movie ever for me because Saw STILL holds that title. Although the very shitty Torque is a very close second.

[chiqui]

I nominate Ridley Scott's Legend. Horribly inappropriate 1980s synth music and Tom Cruise running around in sheepskin Uggs and a Paco Rabanne scaled miniskirt with furry underpants. Not only that, he's always splaying his legs or doing cartwheels so you get a good view of them. To make it worse, he defeats the villain (the only good thing in the movie) by sending him shooting off into space, Star Trek-style, after zapping him with light from giant pewter plates. And in the end, everyone waves bye-bye to the happy cavorting unicorns!

[divasahm]

Okay--here are my current WMEs:
Anything with the words Scooby-Doo in the title--total unwatchable drek.
With the possible exception of Desperately Seeking Susan, anything starring Madonna--up to and including Evita. She ruined some of the best Rice/Lloyd Webber music ever written.
Road House--maybe I just don't have enough testosterone in my system to appreciate it, but I can't watch it. And I never understood the appeal of Patrick Swayze in anything.

Word to whomever said this should be the Ashley Judd thread. I just saw her in an incredibly well-done film based on a John Grisham novel (whose name does not deserve to mentioned with the pond scum we're discussing here), and amongst the outstanding performances by a large and stellar cast, she stuck out like a sore thumb. She was amateurish and virtually unwatchable. And I've hated all the movies she's starred in. Yuck.

[Deleted]

My friends (the same ones who think Star Jones is so pretty because she has a nice personality) decided that Constantine looked like a great fun flick to watch, so they rented it tonight. Wow. I think that's all I can say when thinking about that movie: wow. It doesn't even make sense. Like, what the hell was going on? Words can't even explain how lost and confused I am after watching this garbage. I literally think it was the worst movie I have ever seen.

I thought it was so bad that I forced myself to go to sleep, because that was more entertaining than the movie. I woke up to find Louis Stevens getting thrown up and down a ceiling and floor. In a way, that made the entire experience worth it. Well no, it didn't, but man was that ever hilarious.

[Hamatron]

Oh good, I'm not the only one who couldn't follow Constantine... though in all fairness I had just gotten back from a party and wasn't all there, if you know what I mean. Keanu Reeves seems like a nice guy, plus he's pretty and stuff... but he is seriously ass in anything he's in. His character would have made so much more sense if someone like Dennis Franz or Sam Rockwell or... anyone that can do beat-down pissed off guy. Keanu Reeves acts at about the same level as a HS boy joining theater to pick up chicks.

I will also renominate Battlefield Earth. I rented it hoping it would suck Glitter-style and I could laugh at it-- about 20 minutes into I had to shut it off. Words do not describe the badness. Especially Travolta... his performance was akin to a bombastically evil character on a cartoon show for children who are really really young-- like the Hamburgular or someone DragonBall Z.

[Deleted]

I also was to re-mention Surviving Christmas. Holy crap. Who on earth greenlighted this? Ben Affleck's character was the most annoying, one-dimensional idiot I've ever had the experience of catching onscreen. Christina Applegate (while I'm glad she got work) looked like she was taking the roll seriously, which was sad. I can't believe Kelly Bundy has come to this.

[Deleted]

hamatron said:

Oh good, I'm not the only one who couldn't follow Constantine... though in all fairness I had just gotten back from a party and wasn't all there, if you know what I mean.

Trust me, you were better off watching the movie in a state that doesn't have you all there than to watch it sober. I mean, if you're drunk or something it should be amusing, right?

It just didn't make sense. With the angel, and the wings and the twins and the Mexican with the knife. It all just came out of nowhere. God, what a bad movie.

[glitterbug]

I'd like to nominate Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. I loved the book, but there was nothing even remotely redeeming about the film. I hate films that ruin the book for me (even just a little bit). I actually never minded Ashley Judd before.

ITA about Forrest Gump also. I haven't been able to like Tom Hanks ever since.

My final candidate would have to be What Women Want, which has brought on the CMG hate for me. How patronising can you be? I suppose some parts are vaguely amusing but what's the ending all about?

[Karrit]

I nominate Shining Through with Melanie Griffith and Michael Douglas.

It contained one of the stupidest lines ever...in a voice over, Melanie Griffith says: "And I remember that it was Friday, because the next day was Saturday."

[shriekingeel]

The Day After Tomorrow is so relentlessly serious about itself that it can't stop being funny. Every line is delivered with leaden seriousness, punctuated by dramatic music and thunderclaps. It's one of the most unintentionally funny movies ever made.