The Funniest Line Ever

[tinyshoes]

"I don't want a large Farva. I want a liter of cola."

[Karrit]

Love, love, love 'Raising Arizona.' My sister and I are always throwing quotes from it to each other...

When Hi gets his first check:

"The guv'ment shore do take a bite...don't she?"

And when he is in his jail cell and his cellmate is describing what he ate in his childhood:

...and we ate crawdad, and when there was no crawdad, we ate sand..."

and Hi, who had been ignoring him up til this, sputters
"You ate SAND?"

I am not much of a Nic Cage fan...but he was perfection in that movie.

and of course, the classic:

"Son, you got a panty on your head!"

[sexlexia]

"I'm sorry I ate your chocolate squirrel."


Mr Mom
"37... 38. Whatever it took."

[emersende]

"Where'd you get those suits? The toilet store?"

"THE MAN PUNTED BAXTER! The man- with the motorcycle! He took him, with his foot . . . and he kicked him!"

"Como estan, beetches!"

"No commercials . . . no mercy!"

Love that movie.

Also,

"He was on her like she was made out of ham!"

Fred Willard is like a god.

[hasbro]

"all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under H for toy. "

"This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated. "

"Do you mind if I name my first child after you? "Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it"

"Don't eat that. Eating that can cause very large breasts. Oh my God, I'm too late. "

"Bodie, I noticed you stopped stuttering. "
"I've been giving myself shock treatments. "
"Up the voltage."

[dwanollah]

The booze hounds return! Feeling a little queasy? Howzibout a nice, greasy pork sandwhich served in a dirty ashtray?

You know Gary, for the first time in my life; I don't feel like a total dick.

She's into malakas, Dino.

We need more input. We gotta fill this thing up with data. We gotta make her as real as possible, Wyatt. I want her to live. I want her to breathe. I want her to aerobicize.

Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect!

If you ever get the chance, shower with them. I did. It's a mindscrambler. Hurts so good!

-But first I'd like to... butter your muffin.
-Why do you have to be such a wanker?
-Because I get off on it!

Anything bigger than a handful, you're risking a sprained thumb.

You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll...chips, dips, chains, whips...You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I'm not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear acting like complete animals.

-This isn't bullshit, this is a Pershing missle, Chip!
-Chet. My name it Chet...and I didn't think it was a whale's dick, honey.

Oh, Gary! You told me you were combing your hair!

Y'stink, buttwad!

[aybee]

Hooray for John Hughes quotes!

[Vernon places magazine rack in front of door to hold it open]
Bender: That's very clever, sir. But what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir.

[sexlexia]

The Dude, I love Real Genius! So, by extention, I love you too! Such a quotable movie. Great lines. Great memories. Thanks!

"It is God!"

[zivvie]

"Inconthievable!" The Princess Bride, followed by "I do not think that word means what you think it means."

From Hannah and her Sisters, when Mickey tells his family he's converting to Catholicism, and his mother tells Mickey's father to tell Mickey why there were Nazis: "How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can opener works."

And, of course, my signature line.

[Deleted]

This isn't so much funny as it is ironic: In Silence of the Lambs, at the end Starling's boss asks her if she isn't afraid that Lector will come after her. She says:

"No, sir. He'd consider it rude."

The reason I love that line is that Lector's character and "relationship" with Clarice is so finely tuned and played that you totally get what she means. In a lesser movie, the line would have been absurd.

(Sorry, a bit off-topic.)