Fifty Shades of Grey

[Deleted]

Saw this at the checkout today. For the love of my inner Goddess, someone please tell him to stop making that face! He looks like he has diarrhea. Not sexy.

[nemmie]

Every time I hear about this film (and the book) all I can think of is that early 2000s indie movie Secretary. I am pretty sure James Spader's character was even named Mr. Grey... If anyone wants to see a similar film with what I imagine is a better/healthier BDSM storyline, I would definitely rent Secretary instead of spending your hard-earned money at the theater on Fifty Shades.

I am still so bummed Jamie Dornan is in this thing. He's so good in The Fall, and now... this.

[chonies]

I saw Secretary shortly after it was released on video and didn't really like it, so I promptly forgot about it. Spader was "E. Edward Grey" which is kind of amusing, there was a character named Joan Holloway (heh) and wikipedia says

Gwyneth Paltrow was originally cast as Lee Holloway, but for unknown reasons, Gyllenhaal replaced her.

I'm terribly amused by this, but I think I need to tag this as citation needed.

ETA: done. tee hee!

[FotoStoreSheila]

Feb 11, 2015 15:18:09 GMT -4 nemmie said:

Every time I hear about this film (and the book) all I can think of is that early 2000s indie movie Secretary. I am pretty sure James Spader's character was even named Mr. Grey... If anyone wants to see a similar film with what I imagine is a better/healthier BDSM storyline, I would definitely rent Secretary instead of spending your hard-earned money at the theater on Fifty Shades.

I am still so bummed Jamie Dornan is in this thing. He's so good in The Fall, and now... this.

I saw it in the theatre and own the DVD! When 50SoG became a phenomenon in my office, I tried recommending the movie, but was shot down. Probably because they couldn't see James Spader as their "Mr. Grey".

[Freelance Exorcist]

One good thing, even the more scathing reviews are saying that Dakota Johnson is the only good thing about the movie. So her career might survive, at least.

The good reviews, at least the ones I've read, seem to be along the lines of "at least it's better than the books," so damning with faint praise, I guess. EL James must be seething right now.

[Hamatron]

Alright. I saw it for free at a press screening tonight. I guess I will put things under a spoiler tag since it's not out yet?

Sexy spoilers!!!

It's pretty boring! I was hoping for a Showgirls, but it's a middle of the road romance with "S&M."

Just like the book, everything in this is a big-ass cliche with no originality. There are lines that are so stupid. They're instantly in love. He saves the day in a few cases. There are planes that serve as "have an adventure" metaphors. Lots of shots of her biting her lips (just like KStew's Bella!). Staring. Classic romance shit.

Dakota Johnson is actually likable and pretty much saves the movie. She plays a lot of her lines as light humor, she giggles through bad lines... it's like she's on Friends or in a romantic comedy.

Jamie Dornan is not good in this. Again, he gets lots of shitty lines to chew and spit out. But he looks like he doesn't want to be there. That's partially his character (I guess?) but his character is a douche, and even though this guy looks good, his acting is pretty flat. And douche-y. And stalkery (they did tone done some stalker stuff though).

The sex scenes are pretty boring. It's all about her arousal, and this is where she can't be in a romantic comedy, so it doesn't really work. She does alright, I guess. But nothing sexy, really. He's just sort of there with a blank stare.

The script is pretty much intact, and that is why it's boring. There's a lot of filler. Shots of Seattle. Lots of staring. Contract negotiations. People telling us that Christian Grey is hot. People talking about what is going to happen in the next scene. Blah blah blah. A bunch of sex was cut. The inner goddess is gone. But otherwise, it's the same boring story readers will know.

Also, the audience was mostly laughing with the movie, not AT the movie. Except for this one guy who was sitting in my aisle. I couldn't tell if he was weeping or laughing the entire time. I like to think it was both.

That's it! It was kind of a let down. I wanted something that was either a 1 or a 10. I got a 5.

[Ginger]

Ha ha, Hamatron - I have neither read the book nor seen the movie, but I don't think it's even possible for there to be spoilers for this movie.

The only thing that has surprised me so far was that snippet in the trailer of Dakota bopping around in Christian's apartment making pancakes because I didn't think this movie would steal cliches from bad romantic comedies and sitcoms, but other than that...

[Hamatron]

Spoiler!! The whole damn movie is a massive cliche on top of cliche. No romance cliche is left unused!

[Freelance Exorcist]

Thanks for the review, Hamatron! So...pretty much what everyone expected, then.

That's too bad about Jamie Dornan, because if The Fall is anything to go by, he is a pretty good actor. Either that or "creepy serial killer" is his wheelhouse. I'm going to be generous and go with "didn't want to be there." To make a guess, I'll say he signed on to what was presented as a hot, career-making prospect...and then he read the books. Note to Jamie: Fire your agent and sign on with Charlie Hunnam's.

Re: Dakota Johnson. I know that being the best thing about the FsoG movie is like being the Real Housewife with the most dignity, but good for her. Nepotism or not, this is no way to start a long career, so maybe she still has a shot.

Ginger: this is true, if there's no plot, there's nothing to spoil. At least in the sequel there will be a mustache-twirling Snidely Whiplash villain.

[Deleted]

Feb 12, 2015 1:03:10 GMT -4 Hamatron said:

Alright. I saw it for free at a press screening tonight. I guess I will put things under a spoiler tag since it's not out yet?

Sexy spoilers!!!

It's pretty boring! I was hoping for a Showgirls, but it's a middle of the road romance with "S&M."

Just like the book, everything in this is a big-ass cliche with no originality. There are lines that are so stupid. They're instantly in love. He saves the day in a few cases. There are planes that serve as "have an adventure" metaphors. Lots of shots of her biting her lips (just like KStew's Bella!). Staring. Classic romance shit.

Dakota Johnson is actually likable and pretty much saves the movie. She plays a lot of her lines as light humor, she giggles through bad lines... it's like she's on Friends or in a romantic comedy.

Jamie Dornan is not good in this. Again, he gets lots of shitty lines to chew and spit out. But he looks like he doesn't want to be there. That's partially his character (I guess?) but his character is a douche, and even though this guy looks good, his acting is pretty flat. And douche-y. And stalkery (they did tone done some stalker stuff though).

The sex scenes are pretty boring. It's all about her arousal, and this is where she can't be in a romantic comedy, so it doesn't really work. She does alright, I guess. But nothing sexy, really. He's just sort of there with a blank stare.

The script is pretty much intact, and that is why it's boring. There's a lot of filler. Shots of Seattle. Lots of staring. Contract negotiations. People telling us that Christian Grey is hot. People talking about what is going to happen in the next scene. Blah blah blah. A bunch of sex was cut. The inner goddess is gone. But otherwise, it's the same boring story readers will know.

Also, the audience was mostly laughing with the movie, not AT the movie. Except for this one guy who was sitting in my aisle. I couldn't tell if he was weeping or laughing the entire time. I like to think it was both.

That's it! It was kind of a let down. I wanted something that was either a 1 or a 10. I got a 5.

So it's basically an R rated version of The Bachelor.

That's too bad about Jamie Dornan, because if The Fall is anything to go by, he is a pretty good actor. Either that or "creepy serial killer" is his wheelhouse. I'm going to be generous and go with "didn't want to be there." To make a guess, I'll say he signed on to what was presented as a hot, career-making prospect...and then he read the books. Note to Jamie: Fire your agent and sign on with Charlie Hunnam's.

I don't know how any actor could be expected to play a watered down Christian Grey. He was forced to make an obsessive stalker out to be a romantic hero. Not only does real life not work that way, movies can't even work that way! Only the writer of 50 Shades and its loyal fans are able to conjure up this impossible magic, but that's just a fantasy in their heads. It's just not possible to transfer that ridiculous fantasy into something tangible. Jamie Dornan might as well have been playing an alien.