Ariana Grande

[Ginger]

Dec 15, 2018 20:01:02 GMT -4 deeconsistent said:

Many people who end up committing suicide broadcast their intentions to loved ones beforehand because they're looking for help.

Loved ones being the same as 2.5 million instagram followers?

The fact that this is all being done on social media with the guaranteed ensuing publicity makes it hard for me to not be suspicious.

[deeconsistent]

Most people don't have 2.5 million followers, which is one of the reasons I said other people broadcast to loved ones.

He grew up in a generation where oversharing on social media is normal. He has shown nearly every second of his life on instagram for the last six months. His ex-fiancee is using the failed relationship as promotional material for her latest album cycle. I'm not seeing how his lack of radio silence equals being disingenuous.

That being said, my point wasn't that he wasn't seeking attention. When people with loved ones instead of instagram followers broadcast, it's for help, it's for attention,it's for sympathy, it's for connections. All of those things are important. It's just odd to me that so many can pretend to want to de-stigmatize mental health problems, but any sign or symptom of those problems is villainized. Break ups are emotionally traumatic experiences. They're situations where someone with issues understandably wouldn't be operating at their best. I'm not defending Pete if he was manipulating Ariana, but this is such a complicated situation that it just seems strange to judge it in a binary way.

[waytoocheerful]

Dec 15, 2018 21:02:08 GMT -4 deeconsistent said:

Most people don't have 2.5 million followers, which is one of the reasons I said other people broadcast to loved ones.

He grew up in a generation where oversharing on social media is normal. He has shown nearly every second of his life on instagram for the last six months. His ex-fiancee is using the failed relationship as promotional material for her latest album cycle. I'm not seeing how his lack of radio silence equals being disingenuous.

That being said, my point wasn't that he wasn't seeking attention. When people with loved ones instead of instagram followers broadcast, it's for help, it's for attention,it's for sympathy, it's for connections. All of those things are important. It's just odd to me that so many can pretend to want to de-stigmatize mental health problems, but any sign or symptom of those problems is villainized. Break ups are emotionally traumatic experiences. They're situations where someone with issues understandably wouldn't be operating at their best. I'm not defending Pete if he was manipulating Ariana, but this is such a complicated situation that it just seems strange to judge it in a binary way.

This.

Did he ever say that post was about her? No. How did her name get wrapped up in this? By us. Most people aren’t steady after a breakup. After a very public breakup? Most of us would struggle.

Most people do not have experience with kids from hard places, kids who have lived through major trauma. He is one of those kids. That is not excising him or giving him a free pass. He has a mental illness (borderline personality disorder) on top of going through some pretty major trauma at a young age with the death of his father. That puts him in a “hard place.”

Dr. Karen Purvis can explain it better than I can. Read her books. Watch her videos.

[Witchie]

Dec 15, 2018 22:59:42 GMT -4 waytoocheerful said:

Dec 15, 2018 21:02:08 GMT -4 deeconsistent said:

Most people don't have 2.5 million followers, which is one of the reasons I said other people broadcast to loved ones.

He grew up in a generation where oversharing on social media is normal. He has shown nearly every second of his life on instagram for the last six months. His ex-fiancee is using the failed relationship as promotional material for her latest album cycle. I'm not seeing how his lack of radio silence equals being disingenuous.

That being said, my point wasn't that he wasn't seeking attention. When people with loved ones instead of instagram followers broadcast, it's for help, it's for attention,it's for sympathy, it's for connections. All of those things are important. It's just odd to me that so many can pretend to want to de-stigmatize mental health problems, but any sign or symptom of those problems is villainized. Break ups are emotionally traumatic experiences. They're situations where someone with issues understandably wouldn't be operating at their best. I'm not defending Pete if he was manipulating Ariana, but this is such a complicated situation that it just seems strange to judge it in a binary way.

This.

Did he ever say that post was about her? No. How did her name get wrapped up in this? By us. Most people aren’t steady after a breakup. After a very public breakup? Most of us would struggle.

Most people do not have experience with kids from hard places, kids who have lived through major trauma. He is one of those kids. That is not excising him or giving him a free pass. He has a mental illness (borderline personality disorder) on top of going through some pretty major trauma at a young age with the death of his father. That puts him in a “hard place.”

Dr. Karen Purvis can explain it better than I can. Read her books. Watch her videos.

Pete jumped on to Kanye’s post admonishing Ariana. So this wasn’t posters bringing Ariana into this. This was Kanye & Pete bashing her for something she didn’t do. Pete could have stayed in his lane since she wasn’t talking to him. She’s no longer following him, but he’s still following her. Why? So he can low key stalk her. He has issues he needs to address.

[petitesuite]

I think part of the problem here is that borderline personality disorder is an illness where many of the symptoms are things we all feel comfortable labeling assholery or immaturity (threatening suicide, intense and unstable relationships). People who wouldn't mock a 'confessed' schizophrenic for thinking the government is coming after him feel comfortable mocking a person who openly has borderline (a la Mr. Davidson) for having symptoms of borderline, as with this suicide threat.

As well, saying 'this suicide threat is a symptom of his mental health disorder and shouldn't be mocked' is not incompatible with acknowledging that it probably does make Ariana feel bad and she has had a particularly hard year. I do feel sympathy for her.

[Deleted]

Most people do not have experience with kids from hard places, kids who have lived through major trauma. He is one of those kids. That is not excising him or giving him a free pass. He has a mental illness (borderline personality disorder) on top of going through some pretty major trauma at a young age with the death of his father. That puts him in a “hard place.”

Sadly, I think the opposite is true. The majority of people either know someone who suffered trauma or have experienced it themselves. Ariana recently lost a loved one to an accidental overdose (that she was blamed for) and experienced the shock of a terrorist attack. Yes, Pete has had a lot of suffering, but so have lots of others and at some point a line has to be drawn and boundaries have to go up because there are loads of people who didn't previously have a diagnosed or obvious mental illness that end up falling into depression or struggling with crippling anxiety and a whole host of other issues as a result of a relationship with someone with mental illness. My post was kinda harsh, but that's what I was reacting to. His wording had that familiar abusive, manipulative ring to it.

[waytoocheerful]

Dec 16, 2018 0:00:32 GMT -4 @highondegrassi said:

Most people do not have experience with kids from hard places, kids who have lived through major trauma. He is one of those kids. That is not excising him or giving him a free pass. He has a mental illness (borderline personality disorder) on top of going through some pretty major trauma at a young age with the death of his father. That puts him in a “hard place.”

Sadly, I think the opposite is true. The majority of people either know someone who suffered trauma or have experienced it themselves. Ariana recently lost a loved one to an accidental overdose (that she was blamed for) and experienced the shock of a terrorist attack. Yes, Pete has had a lot of suffering, but so have lots of others and at some point a line has to be drawn and boundaries have to go up because there are loads of people who didn't previously have a diagnosed or obvious mental illness that end up falling into depression or struggling with crippling anxiety and a whole host of other issues as a result of a relationship with someone with mental illness. My post was kinda harsh, but that's what I was reacting to. His wording had that familiar abusive, manipulative ring to it.

Knowing people who have experienced trauma isn’t the same thing as being equipped to deal with it.

I feel for Ariana. I do. She has had a hellacious couple of years. But I don’t think connecting Pete’s latest episode with her is good for her anymore than the people who connected her to Mac Miller’s death. I don’t follow any of them on Twitter so I dunno who tweeted what.

Kanye and Pete both have major mental health isssues so frankly I hate that she is being dragged into it. I see her being blamed for Pete’s latest episode and that bothers me. She’s no more responsible for Pete’s mental health than she was for Mac’s addiction.

Pete has borderline personality disorder. This isn’t news. Everybody has kind of been waiting for him to fall apart since their breakup. Here it is. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for Ariana because he had issues long before he
met her and she’s getting blamed.

[Mutagen]

I think there are two things going on here. One is Pete's "Bravo Kanye for speaking up about mental illness" after Kanye invoked mental illness in response to Ariana's (admittedly childish and stupid) comment on his Twitter rant about Drake. That is ABSOLUTELY a shot at Ariana regardless of whatever other issues he may have going on. This was followed by his "don't wanna be on the earth anymore" message and deleting Instagram.

It was a really rainy, slow day yesterday and I can't believe I followed all this nonsense unfolding on ONTD, but here we are.

He may be in crisis but he's also lashing out at his ex. And I'm sorry, but in my opinion both he and Kanye are guilty of hiding behind "but mental illness" as a get out of jail free card on shitbag behavior. I'm not at all disputing that they have a mental illness and I sincerely hope they both get the help they need. To be absolutely clear I don't think anyone here is saying this, but I get frustrated sometimes with the implication that because someone did XYZ behavior as a result of mental illness, it's somehow less harmful to the recipient.

[deeconsistent]

Dec 16, 2018 9:15:53 GMT -4 Mutagen said:

\ To be absolutely clear I don't think anyone here is saying this, but I get frustrated sometimes with the implication that because someone did XYZ behavior as a result of mental illness, it's somehow less harmful to the recipient.

I agree with you that no one here has said that. It seems like most of the people who here who have expressed sympathy for Pete just acknowledge that if you believe mental illnesses affect one's behavior, can impair their judgement or cause someone to react badly to emotionally stressful situations, then a complicated breakup like this is exactly the type of situation that would unsurprisingly trigger a bad reaction.

[Deleted]

We all knew this wouldn’t end well. I hope Pete is able to get the help he needs.