Vincent Gallo

[satellite]

That ad is the funniest thing I've read recently. I wish he really wasn't that much of an ass and it was just dry humor. On Entourage there was a great faux-Vince Gallo character who was just dead-on in that hipster/asshole persona.
Did anyone watch "Can't Get A Date" on VH1? I swear Gallo is the role model for a certain type of NYC male.

[Auroranorth]

While digging around through back threads, I rediscovered this one. Wondering what the little rascal had been up to, I opened his website to find:

VINCENT GALLO evenings, weekends escort.

wish, dream or fantasy with VINCENT GALLO, ladies only


Have you ever watched a movie and fallen in love with one of the actors? The way they looked or a character they played? Afterwards you thought of them over and over. Daydreaming, imagining things, sexy things. When I was very young I was madly in love with Tuesday Weld and Charlotte Rampling. On my 14th birthday I went to see the film Rolling Thunder and had my biggest crush of all on the actress Linda Haynes. I wished and wished and wished everyday that I could meet all these girls. I thought of a lot of sexy things with Susan Blakely after seeing her in Lords of Flatbush. In my mind I could do with her anything I wanted to do. So believe me, I know and understand what it's like to wish and dream about spending time with a movie star. Doing things that couples do. Couples in love. At least couples where the guy is hot and knows how to handle a chick.

I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and The Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women. All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female. The fee covers one evening with Vincent Gallo. For those who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend, the fee is increased to a mere $100,000. Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused. However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client. No way Jose. However, female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening together for $100,000. $200,000 buys the lesbos a weekend. A weekend that will have them second-guessing.

I am willing to travel worldwide to accommodate clients. However, travel days are billed at $50,000 per plus all premium flight fees. Scanning for STD's is required as is bathing and grooming prior to our encounter. Detailed photos of potential clients also required prior. An extra fee for security to protect me is charged on top of the fantasy fee. Security fees will vary depending on the details of an encounter and how much security I will need.

Potential clients are advised to screen the controversial scene from The Brown Bunny to be sure for themselves that they can fully accommodate all of me. Clients who have doubt may want to test themselves with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me. You may be surprised just how much you can handle and how good it feels.

I just had to look, didn't I?

[abigail]

I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and The Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women. All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female. The fee covers one evening with Vincent Gallo. For those who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend, the fee is increased to a mere $100,000. Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused. However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client. No way Jose. However, female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening together for $100,000. $200,000 buys the lesbos a weekend. A weekend that will have them second-guessing.

I am willing to travel worldwide to accommodate clients. However, travel days are billed at $50,000 per plus all premium flight fees. Scanning for STD's is required as is bathing and grooming prior to our encounter. Detailed photos of potential clients also required prior. An extra fee for security to protect me is charged on top of the fantasy fee. Security fees will vary depending on the details of an encounter and how much security I will need.

Didn't this horses ass do this same thing last year with selling his sperm ? Now, if we could change the name Vincent Gallo to ( lets say ) Gorgeous George Clooney ? who do I send the check to ! LOL !

[india7]

Scanning for STD's is required as is bathing and grooming prior to our encounter.

Why is that? It never was before!

[Deleted]

Scanning for STD's is required as is bathing and grooming prior to our encounter.

For him or for the women?

And yeah, I heard about this a year or so back, only that time he was selling his sperm.

[underjoyed]

auroranorth said:

Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill.

Hear that? It's the sound of "black chicks" everywhere thanking their lucky stars for his broad-mindedness and re-arranging their finances in anticipation of some Gallo-lovin'. (Needless to say, any large, middle-aged black women with a red weave who are out there must be over the moon.)

[Auroranorth]

abigail said:

Didn't this horses ass do this same thing last year with selling his sperm ?

He did. It's still on his site down at the bottom of the page.

Isn't this illegal?

[esoterica]

It would be if he were selling it on eBay.

Nothing this guy does is surprising to me. He tries way too hard.

[Deleted]

Can't they make an antiGallo vaccine from the sperm, so that future generations might be spared this scourge?

[Deleted]

This guy is so disgusting, so dripping with skankatude I can't watch anything he does.