Anne Heche

[Ginger]

Staying within the celebrity realm, there are some celebrities who were suffering from extremely painful debilitating/terminal illnesses who chose suicide (Robin Williams, Richard Farnsworth) and I can't espouse a "suicide is never the answer" motto in those cases. I respect that as a personal decision. If I were in the same position, I'd consider the same. (Zelda Williams objects to a LOT of social media references about her father, so that's neither here nor there. I'm sure she would also be suffering if her father had remained alive and she had to watch him experience extreme pain, physical degeneration and dementia.)

I read a very interesting article about David Foster Wallace's family. He suffered from chronic depression for many years. He kept his family close throughout his treatments and they saw him go from one medication to another that didn't work, saw him go through ECT multiple times that didn't work, saw him try experimental therapies that didn't work. At the end, he had exhausted treatment options. His family, who saw how he suffered for years and knew how long and hard he had tried to treat the illness, understood his decision to suicide, and that mitigated their pain a bit.

Anybody who has completed a suicide, I hope they are at peace. And those that are contemplating suicide, I hope they know that the overwhelming majority of people who are able to make it through a suicidal period go on to survive long term and report having happy lives.

Jan 17, 2022 15:13:58 GMT -4 disgruntledpelican said:

I think she was speeding after the first crash to get away from the scene in case the police were called.

Yes, I think that's a possibility.

I did read that someone who witnessed the crash said it was extremely weird because she did no swerving or braking. Lack of swerving or braking is a hallmark of intentional crashes, and also of drunk crashes (when the person is so intoxicated that their reflexes are pretty much gone). She wasn't drunk and cocaine wouldn't do that (I don't know about fentanyl).

[hildymatildy]

Aug 12, 2022 14:18:25 GMT -4 cremetangerine82 said:

Aug 12, 2022 13:33:13 GMT -4 Lwaxana said:

My best friend killed themselves and I always like to think they're at peace now. People grieve and cope in different ways.

CW: suicide

I'm so sorry to hear about that, onthepotty, and you can think and feel however you want in your grief. Both my uncle and cousin ended their lives, and I just loathe those who ignorantly say that they're "at peace now". My uncle was committed to a psych ward, and due to the incompetent medical staff, they neglected to take his shoelaces. My cousin was 18 when he ended his life after his mother's car accident and his father's fatal drug overdose less a decade later. "At peace" is the farthest thing to think about their deaths, it pains me that words said to a grieving person can hurt more than heal.

Just this June (on what would've been my parent's wedding anniversary) the presiding pastor (hired at the last minute) repeatedly told people "no more tears" and "no more crying, while I cry harder because I felt guilty I couldn't "hold it together", so I certainly don't like being told how I should or feel when complications from COVID-19 killed my father three days after Christmas 2020.

Again, I hope you didn't feel targeted by that, I meant no personal offense to you.

ETA: hildymatildy, according to TMZ quoted by tiggertoo on page 30, there was no alcohol found in her blood sample, just cocaine and fentanyl (which could've been administered in the ambulance and/or the hospital). It's possible her BAC declined to non-detectable levels after a couple of days, but officially she's not considered legally drunk (0.08 BAC in the USA) because the impossibility of administering a breathalyzer to a critically injured car accident victim.
Mouse, thanks for the kind words.

Thank you for the info, and thank you for your kindness and compassion.

[tiggertoo]

If I can put another spin on things, yes, she came from tragic circumstances and was diagnosed as bipolar, but she also has had a lot of success professionally, some loving, long term relationships and her kids. I don’t think we know enough to say she was so broken, or depressed or suicidal. She was doing a podcast, filming a movie. Her bipolar disorder may have been under control. Maybe she was happy and this was just a terrible thing that happened.

I’m not trying to lecture anyone, just offering a different perspective.

I was thinking of her mom, who is still alive, according to Wikipedia. I’m assuming they never reconciled? She may have been a terrible mother, but she has now lost four of her five children.

[cremetangerine82]

Aug 12, 2022 14:42:10 GMT -4 Ginger said:

Staying within the celebrity realm, there are some celebrities who were suffering from extremely painful debilitating/terminal illnesses who chose suicide (Robin Williams, Richard Farnsworth) and I can't espouse a "suicide is never the answer" motto in those cases. I respect that as a personal decision. If I were in the same position, I'd consider the same. (Zelda Williams objects to a LOT of social media references about her father, so that's neither here nor there. I'm sure she would also be suffering if her father had remained alive and she had to watch him experience extreme pain, physical degeneration and dementia.)

I read a very interesting article about David Foster Wallace's family. He suffered from chronic depression for many years. He kept his family close throughout his treatments and they saw him go from one medication to another that didn't work, saw him go through ECT multiple times that didn't work, saw him try experimental therapies that didn't work. At the end, he had exhausted treatment options. His family, who saw how he suffered for years and knew how long and hard he had tried to treat the illness, understood his decision to suicide, and that mitigated their pain a bit.

Anybody who has completed a suicide, I hope they are at peace. And those that are contemplating suicide, I hope they know that the overwhelming majority of people who are able to make it through a suicidal period go on to survive long term and report having happy lives.

Jan 17, 2022 15:13:58 GMT -4 disgruntledpelican said:

I think she was speeding after the first crash to get away from the scene in case the police were called.

Yes, I think that's a possibility.

I did read that someone who witnessed the crash said it was extremely weird because she did no swerving or braking. Lack of swerving or braking is a hallmark of intentional crashes, and also of drunk crashes (when the person is so intoxicated that their reflexes are pretty much gone). She wasn't drunk and cocaine wouldn't do that (I don't know about fentanyl).

CW: suicide

I still have issues with DFW's suicide because it was connected to his depression, which causes significant cognitive and reasoning impairment. He was certainly not of sound mind when he made that decision, similar with Williams and Farnsworth. I agree with terminally ill people of sound mind who ask for hy56/"?
assisted suicide, with the emphasis of the decision being made by mutual agreement by medical personnel, next of kin, and the patient.

OT: I agree for the most part, tiggertoo, but I'll never forget the Monday after Kurt Cobain was found dead. Another 8th grader asked "Why would he kill himself in a multi-million dollar home?". I immediately responded "Because he was depressed?". It didn't take two degrees in psychology (look nice in their frames, worthless on the job market!) for me to know that Kurt was unhappy despite all of his achievements, talent, intelligence, great sense of humor, child, etc. Anne probably didn't feel like she was a success although outside observers would think so. I also hope her life with give life to her possible organ recipients.

[tiggertoo]

Oh, and kudos to Harrison Ford. She received a lot of backlash when she started dating Ellen. She had just been cast in a movie with him. He fought for her to remain in the movie.

Ps now I read that she’s brain dead, not dead. Is that for the organ donations?

[forever1267]

Different reports are coming out. The local ABC news and Vanity Fair say she has passed. CNN.com has nothing. IMDB has a death date already.

My Mother died suddenly, and her corneas were transferred to Dallas for someone. I'm an organ donor too.

She and Harrison had terrific chemistry in Six Days, Seven Nights. Return to Paradise, Wag the Dog, The Juror and the HBO TV Movie If These Walls Could Talk (which is about abortion) are all good choices.

[eveschmeve]

Yes, they said she is being kept alive right now to assess whether any of her organs can be donated, but there is no brain activity so essentially she has passed.

[Ginger]

Nov 29, 2021 1:38:37 GMT -4 cremetangerine82 said:

I still have issues with DFW's suicide because it was connected to his depression, which causes significant cognitive and reasoning impairment. He was certainly not of sound mind when he made that decision, similar with Williams and Farnsworth. I agree with terminally ill people of sound mind who ask for assisted suicide, with the emphasis of the decision being made by mutual agreement by medical personnel, next of kin, and the patient.

I believe DFW's decision was extremely reasoned out over several years, including when he wasn't in periods of active depression. One thing that guy could do was think.

It's been awhile, but having read about The Hemlock Society, one of the problems with formalizing assisted suicide and getting a lot of other people involved is that people who wind up not wanting to go through with it find it very difficult to back out.

Hearing from a nurse who dealt with a lot of end of life patients, "families find a way". She and her fellow nurses did not ask questions when an end of life patient "accidentally" got a dose of morphine that was way too big. In general, especially when a person with a documented terminal illness dies at home, nobody asks too many questions, period.

[cremetangerine82]

There's an obituary from The Guardian, linked from Wikipedia.

This is so sad.

[lea1977]

The Anne Heche I will remember is Six Days, Seven Nights. I always thought she looked beautiful.