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May 3, 2024 9:53:33 GMT -4
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2014 13:18:34 GMT -4
Aaaahhhhh! Mommy, why is there blood on my presents?! It's okay honey, that's Jesus's blood. You see, he died for our sins on the cross and the cross was crafted out of wood and that wood came from a tree. And that's why we celebrate his birth with a tree. I know next to nothing about the bible so I wanted to see if maybe Kirk had a valid argument. He doesn't.
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Post by famvir on Nov 18, 2014 14:37:51 GMT -4
I like eggnog, I bet I can find a verse on that in the Bible. And turkey, not ham. Surely there's a passage on the biggest turkey and the best butter in the Bible. And Black Friday Christmas shopping! Find it for me, Kurt. I want to know I have Gods blessing when I abandon my family to camp out on Thanksgiving and do my godly duty of gross consumerism.
(I sit here waiting patiently for your guidance.)
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Post by GirlyGhoul on Nov 18, 2014 15:14:12 GMT -4
Ok, I figured it out. The Way of the Master is all about Kirkles and his Aussie Banana Lovin' pal telling everyone how WRONG they are and that Kirkles and Co. are RIGHT. You have to do things the Way of the Kirkles or you're going straight to Hell. If you think you're a good person, if you think you know what's right, if you think you have a good grip on the Bible and its teachings... well you're wrong! Let Kirk show you the way!!
So now we have some schmoe feeling cranky and bummed out and conflicted because all those Christmas traditions that most everyone finds so enjoyable have very little to do with Christ and as a Christian (both by name and creed in this case) he shouldn't be participating in the Pagan Idolatry, crass consumerism, and greedy gluttony of it all. And really, he has a point. I won't say I agree with him, but from a strict fundamentalist perspective- he definitely makes some very strong points.
But guess what! He's WRONG!! Enter Kirkles to show him the Way! It's Kirk who knows the truth and has all the answers! Oh can I get an AMEN!!! Because it's not about weighing whether or not your strict fundamentalist beliefs will make you a hypocrite for enjoying the lights of that wicked Pagan tree or the warmth of heathen Yule log... It's about following KIRK! Kirk will show the Way to keep all those fun traditions alive and well in your Super Christian Home without having to worry about being a hypocrite. No, friends! You can STILL do all those fun, enjoyable things your horrible atheist neighbors do AND still righteously judge them for daring to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" whilst doing so! Just ask Kirk! He knows!
So go on! Put up that Cross-Like Tree! Keep your Charity in your own home! Bake that giant, Non-Kosher Ham! Jesus wouldn't go near that thing... but of course your WIFE will be the one cooking it, since that's her JOY, and submitting your authority over your wife by keeping her slaving in the kitchen all day is pleasing to the Lord!! (And besides all that... BUTTER!!)
But the most important thing to remember this Christmas season, always and forever... listen to Kirk! Pay attention to him! Watch him! Let him show you the Way... with BUTTER! (And white boy dancing!)
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Post by azaleaqueen on Nov 18, 2014 18:10:30 GMT -4
I love fruitcake. Yes, I'm that person. I'm sure Kirkles could justify that. Couldn't he?
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Post by Ninja Bunny on Nov 19, 2014 2:26:23 GMT -4
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Deleted
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May 3, 2024 9:53:33 GMT -4
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2014 12:21:16 GMT -4
The question is, is he being willfully ignorant of the obvious (even to a non-bible reader like myself) interpretation or does he honestly have a reading comprehension problem?
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Nysha
Blueblood
Posts: 1,029
Jul 7, 2007 2:19:58 GMT -4
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Post by Nysha on Nov 19, 2014 12:28:53 GMT -4
I wondered why my Fox News watching, Right Wing, Evangelical Christian Facebook Friends & Family weren't plugging this movie to the high heavens, especially since most of the believe in the "War on Christmas" bullshit. But, if the premise is consumerism is Godly and the poor deserve what they don't get, that pretty much flies in the face of most of them, who believe that Christmas presents should take a backseat to celebrating Christ's birthday.
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Post by famvir on Nov 19, 2014 12:33:00 GMT -4
Hey, bananas prove God. That's as profound as he gets. (He was actually cackling at how "smart" he was.)
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Post by Hamatron on Nov 19, 2014 12:34:44 GMT -4
The question is, is he being willfully ignorant of the obvious (even to a non-bible reader like myself) interpretation or does he honestly have a reading comprehension problem? He's pretty stupid, so the latter is entirely possible. I remember when he first started doing videos, he did one on how to approach and convert an atheist on the street. His step-by-step process basically came down to asking them if there is SOME sort of higher power, assuming that the atheist would agree, and then sucker-punching them into the world of Jesus. Yeah. I don't think that process would ever work in the real world. It's obvious that he's super sheltered and privileged, so his pea brain doesn't quite get how people and the world outside of his own rich white one works. He also doesn't understand the difference between atheist and agnostic, so there's also simple vocab issues going on with him.
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Post by Auroranorth on Nov 19, 2014 21:40:44 GMT -4
The question is, is he being willfully ignorant of the obvious (even to a non-bible reader like myself) interpretation or does he honestly have a reading comprehension problem? Yes.
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