Celebrities & Scientology

[batmom]

The intenet filter is no urban legend. A friend of a friend (a know that sounds like the intro to an urban legend, but I've met him numerous times so I know he's real) was actually hired by the Scienos about 5 years ago to create a sophisticated filter for them. He's not a clam himself, but he'll do just about anything (computer geekish) for money.

[swanflake]

batmom said:

The intenet filter is no urban legend. A friend of a friend (a know that sounds like the intro to an urban legend, but I've met him numerous times so I know he's real) was actually hired by the Scienos about 5 years ago to create a sophisticated filter for them. He's not a clam himself, but he'll do just about anything (computer geekish) for money.

HAHA! Did they tell him to make sure to filter out all the gay porn for Tommy?

[snacktastic]

That's not gay porn on his computer. Those are artistic renderings of naked men having anal sex. In an artistic way. Not sexual at all. Because Tom is so straight, he could roger a man for hours and still never have any homosexual tendencies at all. For real.

Btw, check this out. Learn more about Study tech. Thank God the Los Angeles Times clued people into what this is.

From that website, btw:

Aboard his flagship Apollo, Hubbard's behavior had become increasingly erratic by the end of the 1960s. Drastic punishments, including being thrown overboard and being confined to the chain locker or bilges, eating out of a bucket, were arbitrarily inflicted on Hubbard's band of followers. Adults and children alike were brutalized. Some of the more thoughtful Scientologists were horrified by the vicious punishments meted out to young children on Hubbard's direct orders. Hana Eltringham, the captain of the Apollo, recalled what Hubbard did with a small boy who had chewed a telex:

"He put this 4½ year old little boy - Derek Greene - into the chain locker for two days and two nights. It's a closed metal container, it's wet, it's full of water and seaweed, it smells bad. But Derek was sitting up, on the chain, in this place, on his own, in the dark, for two days and two nights. He was not allowed to go to the potty. I mean he had to go in the chain locker on his own, soil himself. He was given food. And I never went near it, the chain locker while he was in there, but people heard him crying. That is sheer, total brutality. That is child abuse."


Children who pleased Hubbard received a different but perhaps no less sinister kind of treatment. He had already been using children to relay his verbal orders around the ship. Around 1970, he established an elite unit made up entirely of children, called the Commodore's Messenger Organization. Its members were almost all teenage girls dressed in tight blue uniforms and gold lanyards. They were trained to relay Hubbard's orders using his exact words and tone of voice; if he was bellowing abuse, they would go to the target of his ire and scream Hubbard's invective at them. They waited on Hubbard hand, foot and finger, 24 hours a day. Organized into six-hour shifts, they would perform every imaginable personal service, no matter how menial. Two would accompany him when he walked on the deck, one carrying his cigarettes, the other an ashtray to catch the ash as it fell. They washed him and massaged him, helped him to dress and undress, mixed his drinks and arranged his clothes.

[Oxynia]

Tom is so straight, he could roger a man for hours and still never have any homosexual tendencies at all. For real.

Somehow I think Tom could roger a man, woman or small farm animal from now till next Tuesday and not have any sexual tendencies (homosexual, heterosexual or bestial) whatsoever. He is just so oddly asexual that it's actually disturbing.

[Malle Babbe]

For all we know, Tom may subscribe to the old fear that a man weakens himself with every ejaculation. He's such a control freak that it's possible.

[mostlyharmless]

For all we know, Tom may subscribe to the old fear that a man weakens himself with every ejaculation. He's such a control freak that it's possible.

You know what that made me think of? The crazy base commander in Dr Strangelove. To paraphrase:

Crazy Tom Cruise: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.
CTC: You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Tom.
CTC: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war psychiatric conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core psychiatric works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Tom, listen, tell me, tell me, Tom. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
CTC: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
CTC: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
CTC: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
CTC: But I... I do deny them my essence.

[indygirl]

The Daily Show's "This Week in God" just did a lovely expose on Scientology that ended with a call from a Scientology lawyer. Very funny! Poor, Stephen Colbert--he's in for some real life phone calls.

[Deleted]

Oooh, what happened? Dammit, I missed it! (It'll be repeated at midnight, right?)

[indygirl]

guinastasia said:

Oooh, what happened? Dammit, I missed it!

Essentially, Stephen tells the audience that he has just saved them thousands of dollars in auditing fees after explaining all about Xenu and the thetans. He spends a little time ragging on CTC as well. He then mentions that he will probably get an angry call for CTC's lawyer or maybe Jenna Elfman's, or Kirstie Alley's, or...etc. until he lists about 10 or 12 famous Scientologists. When he gets to Beck, he mentions that maybe he should consider joining because, hey, it's Beck. The skit ends with the call from the lawyer. The last gag is when you learn how the lawyer knew to call even before the show aired.

My LOL moment was his comment about the burning bush and Virgin birth.

(It'll be repeated at midnight, right?)

Yes!

[Deleted]

Ha, I just saw it! Hehehehe...I love The Daily Show.

I'd LOVE to see Tom Cruise pull the same shit on Jon that he did with Lauer. Jon would slaughter him.