raqs
Landed Gentry
Posts: 998
Mar 7, 2005 10:04:25 GMT -4
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Post by raqs on Aug 7, 2007 19:49:01 GMT -4
snarkaholic I know what you mean by the books ringing true. I've had my share of foxtrots of anger while discussing my intimacy tangos with my therapist. OK that was funnier in my own head. Anyhoo.. Ages ago I was really into the Richard Carlson series of books , teaching myself not to sweat the small stuff. They are a bit simplistic but sometimes simple is what you need. (OMG! I didn't realise Carlson died!)
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puretrash
Blueblood
Posts: 1,021
Oct 21, 2006 20:07:33 GMT -4
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Post by puretrash on Aug 21, 2007 2:08:34 GMT -4
Can anyone recommend a good book on assertiveness? I was shocked that I couldn't find anything at my library. I typed in "assertiveness" in an Amazon search, and I didn't really see any books that had a lot of reviews. I thought surely there would be a "classic" on the subject, something people have read for years, something with a thousand reviews (like How to Win Friends and Influence People.) And I HATE workbooks, ugh. I just want something to read.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 6:47:28 GMT -4
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2007 15:04:00 GMT -4
Can anyone recommend a good book on assertiveness? I was shocked that I couldn't find anything at my library. I typed in "assertiveness" in an Amazon search, and I didn't really see any books that had a lot of reviews. I thought surely there would be a "classic" on the subject, something people have read for years, something with a thousand reviews (like How to Win Friends and Influence People.) And I HATE workbooks, ugh. I just want something to read. Puretrash -- There was something I read years and years ago called " Pulling Your Own Strings" by someone named Dwyer. (Dyer?) It was loaned to me. I was surprised by how much I got out of it. One thing I was wary of was that the author seemed to come really close sometimes to saying "Train yourself to really believe that your needs come before anyone else's!" I'm exaggerating, of course, but he did sometimes seem a little Ayn Rand-ian. Overall, though, for most of the book I was nodding in agreement and revved up to go unleash my bad ass on the world! As for me, today I bought Football for Dummies, the first "Dummies" book I've ever bought. During the last 2 pre-season games I've sat with my boyfriend and watched while he carefully explained what was going on and why. But I know it can't be fun to watch a game and simultaneously narrate it, so I thought I'd give this a try.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 6:47:28 GMT -4
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2007 17:00:39 GMT -4
Another good sort of "assertiveness" book is Fierce Conversations. It primarily focuses on business life but mentions how the methods work for home life as well. The idea behind it is that we hurt more relationships (both personal and work) by the conversations that we don't have rather than the conversations that we do have.
Meaning, if someone is pissing you off at work and you say "You're pissing me off!" it's not the best way to go about it but it's better than saying nothing because at least now it's on the table. But she tries to help you find better ways to communicate what you need and want out of life.
It's interesting. I can't say that I used all of it but I try to remember her points when I'm dealing with someone difficult or a situation when I need to assert myself.
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puretrash
Blueblood
Posts: 1,021
Oct 21, 2006 20:07:33 GMT -4
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Post by puretrash on Aug 22, 2007 1:14:38 GMT -4
Thanks for the recommendations, Bonsai and Jensational. I just looked up both of those books on Amazon, and they both look excellent and have good reviews. I have this weird thing now where I always have to look up reviews on Amazon before committing to reading a book. I was mainly looking for books on asserting yourself in the workplace, and these two books look perfect. Guess I'll use that Amazon gift card now...
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