Horrible Song Lyrics

[Deleted]

This is for stupendously lame lyrics that leap out at you when you least expect it, often in pretty decent songs. My favorite in this category belongs to Sting:

Giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon,
I hope my leg don't break, walking on the moon.

Shouldn't think that would be too big of a problem, with the lower gravity and all, but maybe that Tantric sex weakens the bones in your lower extremities.

A close second would be Tom Petty's roadie named Bart.

There are bajillions of words in the English language, pop stahs. Finding better rhymes isn't that hard.

[forgetful]

Every time I hear this stupid Jojo song (I know, Jojo) on the radio the lyric: "You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time" drives me crazy. Was? Really? Was? Were is the same amount of syllables and is gramatically correct. I don't get it, does intentional bad grammar give you more street cred or something?

[tacoflavored]

"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time."

Thanks for the insight, Van Hagar. Just how much of Sammy's Cabo Wabo Tequila must one drink before that lyric sounds ok?

[bbug]

It's probably the most obvious choice ever for this thread, but I have to say it anyway: MacArthur Park:

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again

[emersende]

The cds where I work (Old Navy) repeat every four hours and are usually pretty decent, but I've noticed an annoying trend for some singers to inform me that "What I feel/ Is so real." After a while I just want to reach through the speakers and bitchslap them repeatedly for that dumbass rhyme.

[Shalamar]

"I believe the children are the future ..."

Really, Whitney? Wow, that's deep. Did you come up with that one all by yourself?

[Deleted]

But if this ever-changing world in which we live in makes you give in and cry...

Is that one of the perks of knighthood, Sir Paul, you get to double up on your prepositions? It makes me want to stick in a knitting needle in my ears.

[dwanollah]

Duke, I actually used to do a grammar segment for my students in which I have them correct grammatical errors in song lyrics -- lots of Backstreet Boys and *NSync -- but always finished up with that masterpeice by Sir Paul.

Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again

As a child, I actually thought that "someone left the cake out in the rain" was some sort of quirky idiom, like "by the skin of your teeth" or "queer as a four-dollar bill." I kept waiting for, when something went really wrong, someone to say "looks like that cake got left out in the rain again." I may need to try to make it one on my own... sorta like how, a decade ago, I started using "I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me" perhaps.... ;D

[Deleted]

Yeah, MacArthur Park is pretty much a crapfest from beginning to end. And whoever told Richard Harris he could sing needs to be horsewhipped.

Another oldie gem (because that's what I am) from Chicago: a pretty lady looked at me and asked me what the time was that was on my watch.

Boy, I bet I go up to people 6 or 7 times a day and ask them, "Excuse me, sir or madam, but could you tell me what the time is that is on your watch?"

[electricmayhem]

I love me some Don Henley, but pretty much all the lyrics for Drivin' with Your Eyes Closed make no sense whatsoever.