Advice Columns

[Auroranorth]

I did wrack up a number of ambulance rides- because I'd collapsed with an asthma attack or a migraine or, on one very memorable occasion, a spontaneously collapsed lung. I might as well stay a librarian, because I can't become a nun.

Salon has a nice summary here.

[Deleted]

Amy Alkon's latest.

In short, this guy somehow talked his girlfriend into co-signing a $15,000 loan, spent all of the money renovating his condo, they broke up, and now he's whining that she won't pay off the loan. A loan that improved the value of his home. He's also complaining that she took a whopping 800 bucks from their joint account - I figure she probably contributed some of that.

Amy, of course, calls the girl a thief and feels sorry for the poor wittle woobie who was forced to renovate his condo because his self-esteem is low.

Most of the posters agree with her, no surprise, and angrily denounced this 'slutty little tramp', whose 'probably an alcoholic', and raging because the mutual friends won't dump her.

Oh please. LW managed to con his girlfriend into co-signing a loan that only benefits him, and I'm supposed to think that he's a martyr because she won't fund his home improvement plans?

[Deleted]

Oct 24, 2009 0:33:22 GMT -4 @jerkstore said:

Amy Alkon's latest:

www.advicegoddess.com/ag-column-archives/2009/10/milked-and-hone.html

In short, this guy somehow talked his girlfriend into co-signing a $15,000 loan, spent all of the money renovating his condo, they broke up, and now he's whining that she won't pay off the loan. A loan that improved the value of his home. He's also complaining that she took a whopping 800 bucks from their joint account - I figure she probably contributed some of that.

Amy, of course, calls the girl a thief and feels sorry for the poor wittle woobie who was forced to renovate his condo because his self-esteem is low.

Most of the posters agree with her, no surprise, and angrily denounced this 'slutty little tramp', whose 'probably an alcoholic', and raging because the mutual friends won't dump her.

Oh please. LW managed to con his girlfriend into co-signing a loan that only benefits him, and I'm supposed to think that he's a martyr because she won't fund his home improvement plans?

From the guy's letter:

She insisted on many renovations, and I went along to make her happy.

This doesn't mean he's not a moron with extremely questionable taste in friends and girlfriends, but it doesn't sound like he wanted the renovations (and depending on what they are, they may not have improved the value of his condo - too much work just prices you out of the market). She was benefiting from the renovations as long as she lived in the condo.

[Deleted]

But she's no longer living in the condo. It seems that they've broken up for good. Just why should she fund his renovations?

[Deleted]

Oct 24, 2009 1:16:59 GMT -4 @jerkstore said:

But she's no longer living in the condo. It seems that they've broken up for good. Just why should she fund his renovations?

My guess would be (and I freely admit it's a guess) is that the renovations are long completed, and he's just paying back Grandma's loan (that he can't manage now that she's Jon Gosselined the joint account).

[Deleted]

Well according to his letter she took all of 800 bucks and the loan is for 15 grand, so I don't think that's the reason he can't repay. I just don't get his attitude that it's her responsibility to repay money HE borrowed from HIS grandmother to renovate HIS home.

[chonies]

To me, there's something else going on. The loan was through his grandmother and not a bank, so depending on the nature of the contract they signed, I don't know how enforceable it would be, although mediation might be in order. Also, he doesn't say why he is "forced" to sell his condo, and that $800 in the joint checking account could easily have been hers. If it was his condo prior to her moving in, then wouldn't he be able to make some money off the improvements, even adjusting for an unsteady real estate market? There are giant holes in the narrative, and I think it's probably pretty telling that the friends are still close to the girlfriend, although that doesn't say anything, either.


ETA: How on earth did the readers decide the girlfriend of the LW was an alcoholic?

[Deleted]

I'm curious as to why Grandma demanded a co-signer. Methinks that sonnyboy is a chronic deadbeat - he'd have to be for Meemaw to demand a guarantor before loaning the money. He comes across as a jerk who doesn't want to take responsibility for his behavior.

[newmanium]

ETA: How on earth did the readers decide the girlfriend of the LW was an alcoholic?

The posters on Alkon's bb are notoriously misogynistic. All women are sociopathic, gold-digging, sperm stealing whores who live to use and abuse poor, innocent, vulnerable men. Therefore, eventhough this choad borrowed money from HIS grandmother to finance upgrades to HIS property and apparently is still employed, it's his ex-girlfriend's, who no longer even lives there, moral duty to pay the entire loan amount, while he pockets the money from the increased sale price of the condo.

[Auroranorth]

Oct 26, 2009 12:35:16 GMT -4 newmanium said:

ETA: How on earth did the readers decide the girlfriend of the LW was an alcoholic?

The posters on Alkon's bb are notoriously misogynistic. All women are sociopathic, gold-digging, sperm stealing whores who live to use and abuse poor, innocent, vulnerable men. Therefore, eventhough this choad borrowed money from HIS grandmother to finance upgrades to HIS property and apparently is still employed, it's his ex-girlfriend's, who no longer even lives there, moral duty to pay the entire loan amount, while he pockets the money from the increased sale price of the condo.

I think I will continue to avoid this column.