Advice Columns

[Malle Babbe]

True, he printed a retraction, but I still get annoyed with women being expected to put up with ill health or worse because folks (esp. health professionals) can't be bothered to crack open a book.

[chonies]

Word to that. I expressed some concerns about my birf control to the doctor and got a "suck it up," rather than "well, there's blah blah, or you could look ...". Grr.

So, are there any good female health columnists?

[Baby Fish Mouth]

I read Dan Savage pretty faithfully, but I've seen him drop the ball too many times to really respect his advice. One of his columns made me so angry I actually wrote in about it.

A guy wrote in whose mother had sex with him when he was a teenager, and he wondered why he couldn't commit to a serious relationship as an adult. Dan's response was basically, "Lots of people have problems committing, your mom probably has nothing to do with it." Um, HELLO??? I remember he got a huge amount of angry replies after that one. To his credit he will usually admit when he's fucked up, or at least print some of the letters that disagree with him.

I still read The Vine and I almost always agree with Sars' advice. But the number of columns on grammar and/or baseball gets tiresome.

[lowercase]

I started to lose patience with the Vine (and Sars in general, honestly) quite some time back, but every now and again I'll check in. And then I remember why it's been so long--she posts this herself, and yet doesn't feel the need to edit out the "O Wise and Wonderful Sars" and the like. And yes, the baseball and grammar questions get exhausting. Aren't there any other references on the Internets where people can find what they're looking for, so we can get back to etiquette and roommate trouble?

[tabby]

Does anyone remember the Ann Landers' Sex Test?

I do! Having a high score was a point of pride among many of my college friends and acquaintances.

[Smilla]

I still read The Vine and I almost always agree with Sars' advice.

Ack. Sars. I gave up on The Vine in '05, after deciding she was a) full of it, b) pathetic, and c) a (really) bad advice-giver. I'm embarrassed that I ever took her seriously.

[londonstill]

I recently got some advice from Sars and I was stunned by how sweet she was to me in emails we sent discussing it.

[chonies]

I saw this column yesterday

DEAR ABBY: I dread getting my hair cut and colored at salons because I detest small talk. I can't get to the salon until after work, and by then I'm all small-talked-out. Is it rude to bring a book and read while someone is doing your hair? -- NOT A CHATTY CATHY, IRVINE, CALIF.

DEAR NOT CHATTY: It is not rude to bring along something to read while your hair is being colored. However, reading while you are getting your hair cut might be counterproductive.

In order to get the "line" right, your hairdresser would probably prefer that you sit with your head up, looking straight into the mirror rather than down. My hairdresser, Asya, is a perfectionist who insists upon it.

and it really irked me. I think Abby/Jeanne missed the mark--I do think it's really rude to ignore someone who is performing a service like that, but maybe I'm wrong. I think a better answer would be something less passive aggressive, like "I'm really tired and am afraid I don't have much energy for chatting tonight. Would you mind if we kept things a bit more mellow?"

[Deleted]

Sorry, but I disagree. The customer pays for a service: a cut and color. They aren't there for the stylist's entertainment. Would it be nice for the stylist if the customer offered pleasant chatter? Maybe. But it should not be expected. It's not ignoring the stylist (ignoring would be not entering the salon in the first place) or passive aggressive. What's aggressive about enjoying some quiet time that you've paid for?

Dan Savage gets points from me for admitting when he screws up and bringing in outside advisors when necessary. Plus, his DTMFA (dump the motherhumper already) advice is the single greatest thing ever. I'm so tired of people making themselves miserable trying to fix stupid, useless, boring relationships with deeply troubled drama queens who just don't care. DTMFA.

Can someon please explain Cary Tennis to me? I read him in Salon and he is incredibly useless. Whenever he actually bothers to write advice rather than intellectually masturbatory literary foofaw, it's almost always really bad. Is he meant to be taken seriously? Is he for real?

[chonies]

Jul 17, 2008 0:44:05 GMT -4 @dguzpy said:

Sorry, but I disagree. The customer pays for a service: a cut and color. They aren't there for the stylist's entertainment. Would it be nice for the stylist if the customer offered pleasant chatter? Maybe. But it should not be expected. It's not ignoring the stylist (ignoring would be not entering the salon in the first place) or passive aggressive. What's aggressive about enjoying some quiet time that you've paid for?

I agree that the customer comes in for the service only, but I suppose I just had it in my head that the stylist would say something like, "hi, so, how are you?" and the customer sighing loudly and pulling out a book. I have no problem at all with someone reading, but I just thought it would be more civil if the customer prefaced the pulling out of the book with a short greeting. It's kind of expected that a stylist would chat, just out of custom; I was also thinking of every morose teenage cashier who is busy texting or eating chicken wings while I'm trying to get my groceries checked out. I see what you're saying, but I just thought it could be negotiated a bit better.

I also reread the original letter just now. I don't know why but I have an immediate counterflex whenever I see or hear the word "detest." I don't know why.