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Post by Malle Babbe on Mar 15, 2009 12:01:20 GMT -4
Prudence did a good job on that issue, I was just reading the comments section where parents of "Larrys" of their own were gushing about the LW being so understanding, while not acknowledging her being creeped out. Larry could very well have the best of intentions, but I get annoyed with this insistence that girls and young women be nice rather than have their boundaries respected.
All that leads to is stuff like last week's LW who felt that it wasn't her place to say anything about her boyfriend pissing the bed on a regular basis, or at the very least trying to find the "perfect hint" to drop to get him to see a doctor.
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Post by chonies on Mar 15, 2009 12:39:57 GMT -4
OT, but where is the comments section? I can't find it.  |
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Post by Malle Babbe on Mar 15, 2009 13:36:38 GMT -4
Scroll down to the bottom of the page, and you'll see the line, "What did you think of this article?" There are two links beneath that, one reads "Post a Message" and "Read Messages". Click on the second, and you'll be sent to The Fray, which is Slate's discussion forum. Keep in mind that the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory is in effect with a great many posts; the internet seems to be filled with folks reduced to snot-flinging rage over women asking for advice about anything... |
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Post by Peggy Lane on Mar 15, 2009 14:23:06 GMT -4
The girl who wrote Letter #4 has my sympathy, and while I can understand why the parent of a kid like "Larry" would really appreciate a classmate being nice to them, I get irritated by folks who insist that teenage girls humor people who are making them uncomfortable, especially when they turn around and act all bewildered when Rihanna takes back Chris Brown. That, and some of the comments implying that if creepy guys got pity fucks from the "ice bitches" in high school, mass shootings wouldn't happen. Last time I checked, a 14-year-old girl's job was to be a student, not a social worker, or otherwise take on issues that are the responsibilities of the adults running the school... I think Prudie did an okay job of spelling that out, but I wish she had been a bit sterner or clearer about this. Where are the teachers? Do they not see him grabbing her in the hallway? Of course, her parents should be getting involved. I wouldn't let my daughter convince me that this was something she should handle herself. I absolutely hate that girls feel this strong societal push to always be "nice" and "good." |
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Post by famvir on Mar 16, 2009 11:53:27 GMT -4
I think Prudie did an okay job of spelling that out, but I wish she had been a bit sterner or clearer about this. Where are the teachers? Do they not see him grabbing her in the hallway? Of course, her parents should be getting involved. I wouldn't let my daughter convince me that this was something she should handle herself. I absolutely hate that girls feel this strong societal push to always be "nice" and "good." I was bringing in a special program for a number of 7th graders, at the class for two days, and needed to take photographs. I needed small pictures, so I lined the kids up in threes and fours. One nice, average looking, slightly obese little girl was physically avoided by all the other kids. They refused to have their picture taken with her. Her teacher did nothing to intervene with this outrageous behavior by the other kids. (Yes, I forced three other kids in the picture with her. They actually touched her clothing with their shoulders, and no, they didn't get cooties...) I know I was only there for two days, but for those two days, the other kids were horrible to this young girl. She seemed sweet, helpful, and stayed around me because the others certainly didn't want her around them (including the teacher). I talked with the teacher alone, later, because I was so concerned about this girl, and she said it had been like this for her seven years at the school. The other kids had always made her the brunt of their kidding/bullying. I told the teacher I hoped her parents would move her to another school....this was ridiculous, but I was mainly angry at the teacher for not forcing the other kids to act civilly toward this girl. I know this is off topic, but still speaks to the authority figures at the school abdicating responsibility to the CHILD instead of taking the responsibility on themselves. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 24, 2024 4:37:20 GMT -4
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2009 12:55:23 GMT -4
famvir I basically was that girl, although I had it easier because most kids just ignored me as opposed to actively avoiding me (and the teachers seemed to like me.) But nothing was ever done about the kids that did bully me. I was basically told to just sack up and ignore it. My parents tried like hell to get the school administration to do something about it, but they never did. Lots of adults in schools tend to not want to do anything about bullying unless it gets violent, they completely ignore the psychological aspects of it. Middle school was hell for me because of it.
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Post by famvir on Mar 16, 2009 20:10:19 GMT -4
famvir I basically was that girl, although I had it easier because most kids just ignored me as opposed to actively avoiding me (and the teachers seemed to like me.) But nothing was ever done about the kids that did bully me. I was basically told to just sack up and ignore it. My parents tried like hell to get the school administration to do something about it, but they never did. Lots of adults in schools tend to not want to do anything about bullying unless it gets violent, they completely ignore the psychological aspects of it. Middle school was hell for me because of it. That truly sucks, roisin, but on the bright side, you've grown into an articulate, kind, sensitive and wickedly funny adult. Those other losers? Really missed knowing a terrific person. |
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Karrit
Sloane Ranger
Posts: 2,299
Mar 15, 2005 14:32:04 GMT -4
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Post by Karrit on Apr 8, 2009 9:48:01 GMT -4
The feminist in me really finds Abby's advice to an old-fashioned father offensive. Her suggestion that asking for a daughter's hand in marriage is "outdated but a gesture of respect" is just wrong. Instead, she should should have pointed out that the reason it is outdated is because daughters are not a father's property, and not because the daughter thought her fiance was "not up to muster." |
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Post by Ripley on Apr 8, 2009 10:09:31 GMT -4
Karrit, that pissed me off too. My reaction was, "Congratulations Dad. You raised a competent adult who knows that she doesn't need anybody else's permission to make an adult decision such as whom to marry."
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Post by divasahm on Apr 8, 2009 10:53:23 GMT -4
Jeanne Phillips just needs to hang it up. She doesn't have the sensitivity, the humor, or the frickin' common sense her mom had, and her responses are increasingly irritating. I suspect the only reason she's doing this at all is because her cousin, Margo Howard (Ann Landers' daughter), originated the "Dear Prudence" column and there's a history of competition between the two families. Margo did it much better, imo.
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