Good Movie Manners Cost Nothing

[Deleted]

I don't know if it's a Winnipeg thing, but I've only had one really bad experience in a movie theatre. And yes, I have been to movie theatres more than once - I probably see about seven movies a year on average.

Anyhow, this one time happened in a packed showing of Catch Me If You Can. I was alone and decided to sit next to the wall to leave room for groups. When everyone was seated, I ended up sitting next to this drunk guy while his girlfriend/wife/whatever had to sit about three rows behind us. This guy was in that drunk phase where everything is the FUNNIEST! THING! EVER! He was clapping and laughing really loudly and kept turning around to see if his lady friend was enjoying the film as much as he was (which couldn't be possible). The girl kept shushing him, but he just didn't take the hint. I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. Thank God he got drousy during the second half and calmed the fuck down.

[razzy]

that reminds me of a disturbing man behind me during Team America. Whenever something bad happened to the French or Hans Blick he would howl with laughter. Maniacally. In the opening scenes when the Lourve was destroyed, he actually whislted and clapped. The surprising thing was ee was a conservatively dressed middle aged man there with his wife (?). The type you would have expected to be shushing everyone else. We saw the move in Georgetown and I half suspect he works for the White House.

[mostlyharmless]

This thread should really have been called "The Tiny Moist Hand" thread....

And as for ending up sitting next to the drunk I had a similiar experience at an Eagles concert years ago. "Yes, crazy drunk person sitting right in front of me, I'd much rather listen to YOU sing than be able to hear those talentless losers on stage, please continue."

[josejalapeno]

Asked for it, and we got it! From PrincessCleo

So. I think I was a senior in high school at the time, and my best friend and I went to something like a 7 or 8 pm Saturday night showing. I had long, curly hair at the time. So Juliet's weeping over Dead Romeo (I refuse to spoiler this, because--come on), and all of a sudden I... feel something... behind me. In my hair. And then I feel this tiny moist hand... crawling up... my neck. And I'm just sitting bolt upright in my seat trying to figure out WTF is going on, and then the Tiny Moist Hand--which has crept up to the middle of my head by this time, and I'm just petrified with horror--grabs a big ol' handful of hair and YANKS. And I whip my head around to see what the hell is going on (Tiny Moist Hand jerks back and vanishes), but I can't see anything in the dark. It must have been some small child sitting behind me or something. So I glared in the general direction of whatever adults must have brought the kid in, and basically held on to my hair for the rest of the movie.

[darlinglilly]

Thanks for that josejalapeno!

I went to see The Pacifier. Some older woman was in the audience. Anytime, and I mean anytime, anything funny happened she would cry out "Isn't that special!" Finally some nasty teenagers tols her to "Shut the Fuck up, Church Lady." The responding "Well I never!" had the theater laughing.

[dumbblonde]

I'm kind of nervous posting in this thread because chances are many a person has bitched about my friends and I at the theater (for example, three of us talked and did various otehr things throughout Hitch). But one memory that sticks with me is from almost a year ago when some friends and I went to see The Prince and Me or whatever that Julia Stiles movie was.
Anyway, half way through the movie, these kids in the front row start SCREAMING. Fucking screaming.
So in comes some guy who works at the theater comes in and kicks the kids who were actually screaming out, but I guess a couple of their friends were allowed to stay.
So about 20 minutes pass. All of a sudden there's banging and screaming "Let me the fuck innnnn, bitches! Heyyyy, heyyyy!" and screaming some of the apparent friends' names.
So one of the friends gets up, opens the emergency exit and lets the kids that had just got thrown out back in. The kid runs up the aisle, throws a condom at someone who I think he thought he knew, but apparently didn't because this person screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK KID?", then Screamer-Condom-Thrower-Kid goes and sits in the back row alone, silent for the rest of the movie.

[Deleted]

Usually we don't really have that many problems in the movie theatre around here, but every once in awhile someone will just do something completely outrageous. Mostly it's just little things that add up until you can't take it anymore.

Like the last time I decided to "enjoy" a flick in the cinema it was when my boyfriend dragged me to Ladder 49. I should've known it was a mistake because he is a firefighter and couldn't shut up about little nitpicky things that were wrong. Strike One. Some people down from us would not stop talking and gasping/screaming at even remotely startling moments. Strike Two. The woman behind me brought in some of her children who were a) really scared and vocal about it and b) ate so much candy that the little one threw up right behind me. As I cannot stand to hear anyone throw up without it inducing me to do the exact same thing, I still don't know how that movie ends. Strike Three and I was out of there.

[stickykeys]

WHEEE!!!!! And we're back! Thanks so much to whoever started this out, I love ya!

Anyhoo, I have nothing to add at the moment, but I will be seeing Man of the House tonight so that should make for some entertainment.

[Deleted]

I haven't been to the movies in a while. I had been going less and less because of people who talk, bring their small children to R rated movies, and chomp their popcorn like Mr. Ed, but the capper was a few months ago when a woman on the row behind me dangled her sandal-clad feet over the seat next to me so that her feet were right by my head! I turned and gave her a dirty look and she scooted them over some but she didn't move them until I turned around and hissed, "that is soooo rude!!!!" Soon after I bought a big screen tv and a dvd player; I'd rather just wait and watch movies at home. Recently a friend begged me to go see Bad Education with her, she said nobody would misbehave in a Pedro movie. I was like, nope, I'm an asshole magnet, you go ahead. Afterwards she sadly reported that indeed, there was some old lady talking through the entire movie. Why do these people go to the movies if they want to talk so bad? Go get coffee for God's sake!

[Deleted]

I hate to admit this, but it use to be my group of friends who were the loud, chatty teenyboppers. The ones who would laugh when people shushed them; the ones who threw candy at one another; the ones who made everybody else in the theatre groan as they walked in to see a row full of hyper 12 and 13-year-olds. It was common for my friends and I to get told to shut up during a movie - there was one time when we didn't get told to shut up and we were all surprised - once, a 7-year-old kid turned around and said "will you please be quiet?" that's when you hit rock bottom. I didn't know how annoying I was back then. I didn't know! I apologize.

I remember once going to the movies with a huge group of friends, this one girl, who nobody liked and was only invited because she invited herself, thought she was being sooo cool and funny but talking and laughing out loud. Sure, it was cool when we did it, but when she did it it got so. annoying. All of my friends and I were telling her to shut up, but she wouldn't listen until the man next to her litterally jump out of his seat and yelled "YOU! HAVE GOT TO SHUT! UP! NOW!". She cried and we all laughed behind her back because we were cruel, cruel pre-teens.

But there's one movie manners story that will stay with me forever. I'm sure when I'm on my deathbed I will think about it and laugh, and laugh, and laugh:

I was seeing Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for my third time (...shut up) with two of my friends who were seeing it for their first time. I think they were getting pretty bored with it, but I was all into it. Anyway, around the polyjuice potion scene we hear some guy scream. My friends and I laugh because we thought some guy was just really, really scared of the scene or something but then it got silent again. Five minutes later we hear the scream again and really, the scene wasn't that scary so something must've been up. All the sudden, we hear some guy yell "WHY YOU TOUCHIN' ME?" as he stands up from his seat and runs, practically tripping, down the stairs and out of the theatre. So the entire theatre is like "whuzza?", all presuming that the guy just got bored and was playing a joke or something, I mean that's all it could've been, right? Wrong. Ten minutes later, the cops come in and walk up to the area where the guy was sitting and pull a man and his three kids out of their seats. The family follow the cops down the stairs, fully aware that everybody in the theatre was watching them. The dad had his head bowed down, and the three kids looked mortified.

Now, I know pedophelia isn't funny, it's actually quite disgusting and I feel so bad for the kids if their dad was petting some stranger while at the movie with them. Or if that guy was just playing a joke, than it must really bite to be that family. But whenever somebody mentions Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, I can't stop laughing. It was the sheer randomness of "WHY YOU TOUCHIN' ME?! AHHHHH!"