Movie Morals that Annoy You

[glitterbug]

Yeah, I hate all that you-can-cure-lesbianism bullshit.

Also? You can't be pretty and nice. Unless you're a prostitute. Or a drug addict who has somehow been sucked into it through no fault of her own. Men can be good looking whether nice or mean.

[sleepy]

Gigli: A hot guy can cure lesbianism.

See also Chasing Amy.

[Deleted]

Wasn't she bisexual in Chasing Amy?

[Deleted]

Nope. Ben Affleck is apparently the cure for lesbianism.

[Deleted]

But didn't she say later in the movie that she had been in relationships and with men sexually before the Ben Affleck character?

I did like some of the movie, but I found Joey Lauren Adams really shrill and I HATED the whole "you slept with other guys, so I don't want to be with you anymore! Wait, have a three way with my homophobic friend and me!" Granted, I believe she slapped and dumped him, and the Ben Affleck character regretted it.

[sleepy]

I can't really remember the details of the movie. But can we all agree that Ben Affleck is lame?

[chonies]

duskwolf said:

Huh, just last night I was telling Mr. Wolf how much I hated TBC And that you need to doll yourself up to get the boys interested, because getting a boyfriend is important. Argh!

I really like Pretty in Pink, except for the ending (the real one or the fan-girly-wanky one with Ducky). But when Annie Potts essentially changes her entire identity at the end to that hideous Paula Poundstone-style ensemble...that is where I have to make up my own alternate endings.

I don't know if it was intentional or not, but the clowny yuppie/preppy crossover is so much more dated than the perennial "eccentric, wacky" thing she was cruising with before.

Also, in TBC, being pretty cures you of hygiene problems. Booger-eating, dandruff-gnawing, etc.

[Hamatron]

Yeah, the Amy character is bi-- as the two guy sex orgy she had in HS screws her over later in the movie. They got the moral of the story right in that one, I think-- his character is foolish enough to not be able to wrap his mind around her wild past, and thinks that a threesome with his best friend will fix things (and assumes she would be cool with this). Amy basically knows it's more complicated than this, and dumps his sorry ass and moves on with her life.

Risky Business-- no matter how badly you screw up, it will be ok. You're good-looking, white, from a wealthy family. Throw in some prostitutes? You're on your way to Ivy League! The cocky asshole triumphs again! Wait, I wasn't rooting for you... (this is how I feel about 90% of the Tom Cruise movies out there).

ETA-- Oh, another one, and this was a fixture for hilarity in the 80s. Hot girl so drunk she's blacked out? Take a picture of her tits, throw her in the trunk of your car (License to Drive), stick her in a shopping cart and leave her on the front lawn for her Dad to find (Animal House), or hand her off to some nerd to get date-raped (16 Candles). You're a cute, young, white guy in a wacky situation! So funny!

[spinsterliz]

Only boys are allowed to be nerds in high school. All the girls are gorgeous and wear expensive clothing and have tons of friends while the nerdy boys (who usually have names like Alvin or Marvin) watch enviously. I can't tell you how many bad teenager movies feature the "Nerdy dude wants hot girl" shit. Excuse me? Being female doesn't mean you're automatically excepted and have a wonderful time in high school. There are plenty of girls who are just as nerdy and feel just as bad as the nerdy guys do. Alas, movies hardly ever feature them, and if they do, the one lone nerdy girl in the school always ends up gorgeous and popular by the end of the flick anyway. It is total sexist CRAP!

The lesson here: Don't worry, all geeky girls! (All five of you out there!) You will become beautiful and popular and all your problems will be solved!

[piscessiren]

Shoplifting clothes is Fun! Meeting guys through personal ads, taking jewelry & earrings from your boyfriend's jacket, paying the taxi driver with poker chips, have no money, but always get free drinks in a club? The world according to Madonna, better known as Desperately Seeking Susan!