Russell Crowe

[zivvie]

Our favorite hygenically-challenged brilliant actor fears he may have been targeted by Al-Qaeda. Discuss {because you know you want to!}.

[twitches]

Well, the bigger the target, the easier it is to hit. That would make Rusty a good candidate. Unless they're just planning to hide out inside his big mouth and sneak into Australia that way.

[snarkythefugdog]

I am SO glad someone started this thread...how can the displaced FT snarkers get by without our beloved "Lardy von Moobies".

(And I completely adore whoever created that name...it had me laughing for hours!)

Maybe Al-Qaeda wants to kidnap him to use in some kind of chemical war-fare - after all, RC is somewhat parasitic and is beginning to resemble an amoeba (what with all the body protrusions like his ever growing moobies).

[borborygmus]

My first thought on hearing about the RC-AQ kidnap plot was "WTF!?" followed closely by "honestly, who would give a crap," and ending with "Osama, for Allah's sake, don't feed RC's ego like that. It's big enough."

Pretty good actor, but has a really big head.

[mostlyharmless]

I can just see them trying to get him to read a statement to camera. "Just stick to the script infidel! No we're NOT rewriting it! And we don't care what your motovation is! AND NO POETRY!"

[snarkythefugdog]

AND NO POETRY!

And no Singing! Or I'll kick you so hard you'll be grunting for 30 feet!

[jaghetersimon]

Maybe Al-Qaeda wants to kidnap him to use in some kind of chemical war-fare - after all, RC is somewhat parasitic and is beginning to resemble an amoeba (what with all the body protrusions like his ever growing moobies).

"Just stick to the script infidel! No we're NOT rewriting it! And we don't care what your motovation is! AND NO POETRY!"

BWAH!! This thread is killing me.

Does AQ really think that Western civilization would be so outraged by the loss of Russell Crowe? Like he's our beacon of freedom and hope?

RC is loving this, of course, since it feeds his delusions of grandeur.

[foxfair]

I gotta say, I can't really believe Al Qaeda had a plot to kidnap Fatboy. It doesn't make any sense. I am sure his ego lurks somewhere behind this news...

That being said, I'd do him, but he'd have to promise not to speak.

[jennipoo]

Or if he did speak, he'd have to use his pseudo-WestVirginiaIntelligent accent from A Beautiful Mind. Heh.

[minxy]

Ok, I have some boring RC gossip.

Remember that horrid band of his, 60 Meter Drunks, or whatever the hell their name was/is? A few years back, friend worked at the label that handled that album in the US and had the misfortune of dealing one on one with Russ at a (poorly attended) show.

Apparently Russ was pissed off that the show wasn't a sell out and that most of the fans in attendance were "fat housewives" (according to one of RC's handlers). Nice. When said friend approached RC to see if he needed anything, he told her to fuck off and get him some beer. She said he was drunk (shocking...), rude (more shocking...), and had skin that looked like a whale that had been beached for a week. To endear himself even more to the label that took a chance in releasing his craptastic album, he wouldn't even "lower himself" to meet with the staff that had worked on promoting and marketing that pile 'o crap.

In all her years of working in the music business, my friend she'd never been treated so poorly by someone, especially someone that hadn't even formed a blip on the musical radar.

And that's all I got.