Australia in Pop Culture

[foxfair]

Aussies, please clarify the following mysteries to a Canadian:

1. What are the following: TimTams, violet crumble, pollywaffles?
2. Is it true Aussies eat beets on their hamburgers?
3. Are pie floaters really pork pies floating in pea soup? A friend in Perth swears he has never heard of this dish and thinks I am being put on.
4. I think Shane Warne is sexy. Why do you all hate him so much (this is a serious question, I know nothing about him off the field - all I know is he was hawt playing England for the Ashes last year)?
5. Will I be barred from entering Australia for the above belief?

[Yossarian]

foxfair said:

Aussies, please clarify the following mysteries to a Canadian:

1. What are the following: TimTams, violet crumble, pollywaffles?
2. Is it true Aussies eat beets on their hamburgers?
3. Are pie floaters really pork pies floating in pea soup? A friend in Perth swears he has never heard of this dish and thinks I am being put on.
4. I think Shane Warne is sexy. Why do you all hate him so much (this is a serious question, I know nothing about him off the field - all I know is he was hawt playing England for the Ashes last year)?
5. Will I be barred from entering Australia for the above belief?

I'll take this one on!

1. Tim-Tams, short answer = chocolate biscuits*/cookies. Long answer = chocolate biscuit goodness, surrounded by hard chocolate with a soft chocolate centre. Traditonally only available in plain chocolate flavour but you can now get them in white chocolate, dark chocolate, hazelnut, truffle, black forest, caramel. Very yummy and, needless to say, very fattening.
Violent crumble = honeycomb chocolate bar
Pollywaffle = chocolate bar of some description. I'm not a sweet tooth and I can't even remember the last time I had one!

2. Beets are called beetroot in Australia. And yes, beetroot is divine on hamburgers. Even McDonalds has a McOz burger with beetroot.

3. Pie floaters = meat pies with mushy peas and gravy on top. On top can mean anything from a light smattering of sauce to being soaked in the stuff! IMO, yuck!

4. Shane Warne = foul individual with a predilection for sending dirty text messages to women who will sell him out to the tabloids. Great player though.

5. Why yes, anyone who professes to find Shane Warne sexy should be banned from sullying our nation! What else, do you also find Steve Irwin hott?

*In Australia, biscuits = cookies

[foxfair]

Hey, thanks Yossarian. Now where can I get some TimTams? because the way Aussies go on about them I'm convinced I'll love them (and I DO have a sweet tooth, a serious one).

Pie floaters - hmmm, could be like poutine - sounds disgusting when described, but tastes like heaven.

Shane Warne. Oh dear. I still want to do him. Is he really that much of a pig?

::hangs head::

[Yossarian]

foxfair said:

Shane Warne. Oh dear. I still want to do him. Is he really that much of a pig?

Yup, he is. His long suffering wife is finally divorcing him but that was only after many a scandal involving dirty text messages, dirty pictures, tabloid tell-alls. I honestly don't understand where he actually manages to find these legions of women that apparently want to sleep with him. Eek. He's actually lost some lucrative contracts because his off-field behaviour was (surprise, surprise) not polling well with female consumers. Who woulda thunk it? He also lost a nicotine patch contract after being photographed cigarette in mouth. He also confessed to taking amphetamine-type drugs in an effort to lose weight - when caught by the sporting authorities, he blamed his mother for giving them to him!

And actually, at the end of the day, I kind of expect sports heroes to be thugs (especially Australian ones) - what really kills any possible affection I could have for Shane is his blond tips and that white zinc on his lips. Who thinks that is a good look?

ETA: oh, one last thing, in the series of photos with him in the spa with the two bodacious lasses it was revealed that Shane's choice of underwear was of the tight white variety.
::shudder::

[Deleted]

The real tragedy though is that Shane Warne is the best Test captain we've never had. If only he'd kept Little Warnie in its' tight white cover.

ETA: A Pollywaffle is a length of marshmallow covered with a layer of wafer, with a chocolate layer over the top. In a perfect world Tim Tams would be available everywhere. For free.

[Deleted]

I'm a vegematarian (yes, quite possibly the *only* Aussie vegetarian that there is...Aussies do like their meat), but my three brothers lovelovelove beetroot on hamburgers. And you poor deprived child...we need to get you some TimTams. I'll throw in some Iced VoVos while I'm at it.

And trust me, if you were an Aussie, you wouldn't like Shane Warne nearly as much as you do now. Yeah, good player...I'll concede that (although I'm not much of a cricket fan; I'm more of a rugby girl). But the guy is just SUCH a dickhead (I must say I love American swear words!) that he just becomes so incredibly repulsive. And plus, I've seen him in person, and he actually isn't very attractive (see my earlier post regarding Warnie).

Now, if we were to talk about, say, Richie McCaw or Carl Hayman, well then we would get into I-really-want-to-do-them territory. Look them up on Getty images if you don't know them. Even when Hayman grows that ridiculous beard, I still think he's incredibly sexy. And McCaw, well...there are no words.

[underjoyed]

foxfair said:

Hey, thanks Yossarian. Now where can I get some TimTams?

In Vancouver, actually. They sell them at the Candy Kitchen. I think it's a chain, but there's definitely one on Broadway, near MacDonald.

yossarian said:

Beets are called beetroot in Australia. And yes, beetroot is divine on hamburgers. Even McDonalds has a McOz burger with beetroot.

That's just wrong.

[Deleted]

Oooh...sorry! Should I have spoilered that?

No, ximena, I was going crapcrapcrap because my stupid dish company doesn't show rugby, not even on pay-per-view, the rat bastids. From your post, I did kinda get the idea the All Blacks had opened a can of whoopass on somebody but that is not at all surprising, it's to be expected.

Sorry...back to all things Oz....vegemite and stuff.

[foxfair]

A kindly TimTam Fairy has offered to send me some TimTams!

::shakes with anticipation::

In return, I have decided to try very hard not to fancy Shane Warne any longer.

But I cannot promise to prefer Vegemite over Marmite. Vegemite is all...cloudy and matte. What's up with that? I mean, I'll eat Vegemite in a pinch but Marmite...mmmm...!

I am also going to try beets on burgers. I don't think it sounds that bad. It's the same principle as lettuce and/or tomatoes, no? Some crunchy, cold vegetable to offset the meat/cheese thing?

Oh and here's an old Satirewire story on the entire nation of Australia going on a drunken binge. Made me laugh, anyway.

Meanwhile, victims of what's already been dubbed the "Australian Crawl" are still shaking off the event.

"Australia bumped into us at about midnight local time," said the Spanish President Juan Carlos. "They were very friendly, they always seem friendly but they refused to go around unless we answered their questions. But the questions were impossible! Who is Ian Thorpe? Do you have any Tim Tams? What day is Australia Day?'

[Deleted]

I've seen that article before, it cracked me up. And as for Richie McCaw...mmmm...New Zealandy goodness.