I'm trying to figure out when the magazine jumped the shark...was it when they put Paris on the cover or did it happen before that?
Never! They might have
surfed the shark; but never
jumped!
It's August and my man, Dominick Dunne, is in shorts. No really, shorts, you can see his shapely calves and emboidered slippers. Mr. Dunne has been to Cannes and he:
Mr. Dunne, have you seen that celluloid cyst?
You have skillfully diagnosed your illness. Now, if we could only cure it! People, please send $8 today to the
I Know Crap When I'm Standing in It Olafactory Odor Fund. Forget Bird Flu;
The Da Vinci Code shows the infection and mutation of the Second (or is it Third) Sense. Only your contributions of $678 million will counter the stench left by this film.
Mr. Dunne is appalled: Hey! Is Mr. Dunne a Closet Greecie? Has he been reading this thread?
Mr. Graydon Carter went to Cannes and threw a big party. Mr. Al Gore was there. Mr. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was not.
Miss Hilary Swank is very awkward and uncomfortable in her body. Her pictures are stiff and clumsily posed. Even Sheryl Crow and Al Gore look more comfortable in their pictures than she does. Was it the photographer? He said that Miss Swank worked very hard---that must be Hollywood code for
"She might look like she is taking it up the ass; but I wasn't the one giving it to her."There is an article about making a film about Diane Arbus that stars Nicole Kidman. Miss Kidman sounds interesting. She brought false nostrils of art (Attend Mr. Dunne!) to her portrait of Virginia Woolf; can she bring a thoughtfully wrinkled forehead to her portrait of Miss Arbus? And Robert Downey, why are you so hot? You threw everything away a few years back and now you got it all back.
Life is not fair. Is that why VF paired a story and pictures about Diane Arbus with a story and pictures about possible Vietnamese Agent Orange afflicted children and grandchildren? From Green to Orange---it's un-nerving.
Beverly Cleary who wrote the Ramona Quimby books looks like her heroine. Oh Hah!
And that story on the California surfers of the early 1960s could have been a lot of fun if the author could write. She's not even entertaining in the Domicik Dunne way. Oh and, in that group portrait of where are the surfers now, that Mary chick has pulled, stretched, botoxed, and collagen inflated everything but her knees. Your knees are all wrinkly! Mary!
Yes! I went
surfing with VF!
