The Works of Laurell K. Hamilton

[shawnalanne]

I feel your pain, Margo. I bought the newest Merry Gentry novel from a used bookstore because I like the storyline, just HATE the execution.

Anyhow, she used expression, 'go in me' to talk about someone orgasiming inside her mouth and vagina. All I could think of, of course, is going to the bathroom. She needs an editor so badly.

[Deleted]

Yesterday I was in the bookstore and decided to flip through Incubus Dreams and Micah for the hell of it (being that I stopped reading Anita Blake after Cerulean Sins and won't return unless I hear the series has improved).

I happened to flip to the section in ID where Anita explains to Richard why his last girlfriend was complaining that sex hurt. Paraphrased: "You're well-endowed, Richard. You always bump the cervix. Some women find it uncomfortable." "But you never complained." "That's because I like having my cervix bumped." TF?? It was a four-page conversation in which Anita got to dispense her pseudo-sex-therapist advice to poor naive Richard who doesn't understand Penile Pitfalls. And Micah, the novella ode to LKH's current man? I nearly threw up in my mouth a little when he explained that his last serious relationship ended not only because the girlfriend couldn't handle his were-ness, but because his penis was too big and sex hurt. Again: TF?? Followed by another harrowing "confession" (paraphrased): "She wasn't the only one. Every time after that when I was alone with a girl and she saw my penis, she grabbed her things and left." For eff's sake. How did crap like this get published? Someone take away LKH's computer, stat.

And to further feed the hate (since that's what we do 'round here), I looked up her forthcoming book, Danse Macabre, and her site provides Chapters 1-3. Witness her continued Mary Sue-ification of Anita, and assassination of Ronnie as a big ol' meanie who doesn't want Anita to be happy because she's jus' jellus. Yeah. Have your puke bucket handy.

[Deleted]

I just read a bit of her blog, and for a professional writer, she's incredibly, painfully boring. "I wrote 8 pages. Go me. Tomorrow I will write more."

The enourmous wangs on her male characters crack me up. Someone's a size queen!

EDIT: Oh. My. God. I'm about 1/4 of the way through the sample chapters of Danse Macabre on her website, and they're just BRUTAL. I haven't read an Anita Blake book for a while (I think I've missed the last 2 or 3), and I didn't think her writing could get worse, and yet there it is.

[iceblink]

I finally washed my hands of her when I skimmed through the last Merry Gentry novel and realized that one of the main plot points is that Merry has no gag reflex so she can deep-throat guys like whoa. Um, thanks for sharing?
And there's more than one book of hers that goes into the whole cervix issue, which is just completely uncalled for.

[Deleted]

I finally washed my hands of her when I skimmed through the last Merry Gentry novel and realized that one of the main plot points is that Merry has no gag reflex so she can deep-throat guys like whoa. Um, thanks for sharing?

Yeah, but the whole premise of the Merry Gentry novels was Sexcapdes with [jazzhands]Fairies[/jazzhands] so I knew what I was getting myself into with that one. Will I buy the next Merry Gentry book that is due in the winter, most likely not but I may check it out from the library. However Anita Blake started out well, the first 3 books were good given the gendre, but then when LKH started incorperating too much of her own "Mary-Sueness" into it and then tried to mirror Anita's crazy sex life and lovers with the men in her world I checked out.

[Deleted]

OK, I've been ranting about those sample Danse Macabre chapters in my head since last night. Now Anita has long hair - down to her waist! Gee, make her a more obvious Mary Sue, Laurell! And Ronnie. She's fucking JEALOUS? Of Anita's crazy sexcapade life? What the fucking fuck? And the armchair pyschology by Natheniel on Ronnie was painful; and it winds up with Ronnie in tears taking the name of Natheniel's psychiatrist? You have got to be kidding me. She should have laughed in his face, smacked him, and walked out.

And don't even get me started on the pregnancy. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ewwwwwwww. Also, how big a dumbass IS Anita. "I can't go buy a pregnancy test because I have to go to this big party! And my boys are always with me!" Hi, Anita? "Boys, just need to stop into the drugstore. Wait here, I'm buying some 'surprises' for us to play with during the inevitable orgy in the next chapter." Buy the damn pregnancy test, then go to the bathroom and take it - I assume she does still go to the bathroom by herself, right? RIGHT??

I only skimmed the last of the 3 sample chapters, since Chapter 3 appeared to revolve around yet another werewolf who wants to sleep with Anita, because everyone wants to sleep with Anita. Hell, I'm surprised Ronnie's jealousy was about the men, and not that she wants to sleep with Anita.

Whew. I feel better. I'm almost tempted to go to the library and pick up the ones I haven't read just for the rage they're sure to induce.

[Deleted]

I'm almost tempted to go to the library and pick up the ones I haven't read just for the rage they're sure to induce.

dis, I'm tempted to do that too--how sick is that? Anyway the preview chapters sickened me for the same reasons. I was wondering when Ronnie's character would be completely destroyed; there was growing strife between them around the time of Narcissus in Chains, IIRC, and it was only a matter of time before she had to be cut down to build Anita up. "Painful" is the perfect way to describe the "you need psychiatric help to deal with your jealousy" bit. I was literally saying "WTF?" out loud at my computer screen while I read it. I mean, even though the idea that LKH would eventually cut down Ronnie was not surprising, I was still kind of slack-jawed while I was reading it, marveling at how deeply LKH has fallen into the Well of Egotism. Methinks she ain't ever climbing out. Both Anita and LKH are the ones in need of psychiatric help--for narcissism.

It almost makes me wonder if Ronnie is based on someone in LKH's personal life with whom she's currently not getting along, as is the case with Richard representing her ex-husband. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Ronnie eventually developed into a representation of the "haters" like us who have "turned against Anita" because we're all "jus' jellus" that we don't have our own harems of ginormously-endowed men-creatures. We have issues and clearly need psychiatric help, but before we slink out the door with our tails between our legs, we must apologize to Anita first.

Under all my disgust, of course, is really just disappointment. Shakespeare it wasn't, but the series used to be a lot of fun. Like others in this thread, I used to read the books in one sitting if there were no interruptions. It takes a lot to engage readers enough that they want to revisit the world the author created, so if it all goes down the toilet like this, it's just really frustrating because you invested your time in these characters just to have them assassinated by the author's bloated ego.

[Deleted]

Yeah. Right with you on the disappointment. I also read the sample chapter of the new Merry Gentry book, and it sucked, but it was less rage inducing because the Merry books have always sucked. Anita used to be fun; now it's all porn and pointlessness.

[iceblink]

"Used to be a lot of fun" is the perfect description. Those first few Anita books were my books of choice for flights or the pool for quite some time, then she turned into Mary Sue Ho and now the books are just *boring*. How can that much sex be boring??
I'm sticking with Laurell's writing group buddy Sharon Shinn now; you know where you are with Sharon and she fortunately is not a whack job.

[Margo]

Yesterday I was in the library and one of Hamilton's latests books in the Anita Blake series, Micah, was on the shelf. She's fallen so low in my eyes that I haven't even borrowed that book. First of all, I know it to be crap, and, second of all, I don't want it to continue to ruin my opinion of the earlier books. And I liked Hamilton's schtick of naming books after places, so this title makes the books even worse.

ETA: I like the idea of reading one of her latest books to induce a fit of rage. I'll wait until exam time in university.