Post by anne on Jan 4, 2006 11:45:05 GMT -4
I disagree with your thoughts on Alexander. I agreed with you the first time I saw those episodes, but having gone back and watched them with the knowledge of how it all ended, I saw Alexander in a different light.
IMO, initially, we saw Alexander through Carrie's eyes. She was so fascinated by this exciting new world he introduced her to that she looked past his faults, and the audience was encourage to do the same. But I see what you view as Alexander being open about his shortcomings and emotional hangups as pure selfishness on his part. For a relationship to work, both people have to be willing to compromise. You establish what you WON'T change, but have to be willing to change somewhere in order to make it work. IMO, Alexander wasn't willing to change ANYTHING. Carrie was welcome to stay and to fit into his life as long as he didn't have to be inconvenienced by anything. If he had to work it was okay to blow off her friends. If he wanted to go to a nice dinner, that was what Carrie needed to do. She gave up A LOT of her life in order to be with him, and what did he give up? Nothing, and he told her up frong that he wasn't going to. Nice that he was that up front ... but just what did he really see in Carrie if he was satisfied with her giving up so much when he wouldn't bend at all? He wasn't an obvious monster. But I think his extreme self-centeredness indicated his comfort with inflicting harm on a woman - emotional not physical. I don't think his hitting her was intentional, but it was symbolic of the emotional harm he was doing to her by giving her nothing from an emotional standpoint.
Big on the other hand ... he was always reluctant to sacrifice and to give to her, but he DID come throught for her. Unlike Alexander, when he was faced with going to Paris, he only wanted her to go if she was going for herself and not just for him. In other words, it was more important to him that she remain true to herself than that he get what he wanted. But IMO, the best example of Big's positive relationship with Carrie was the episode where she had the disasterous birthday party that everyone missed. After her miserable day, she walked up to her place and saw his car parked out front. The smile on her face in that scene demonstrated that Big could bring her thorugh the bad times in her life in a way that even her best friends could not. They were all in town but faced varoius speed bumps which kept them from being there to celebrate with her like they were supposed to (until later at the diner) Big on the other hand wasn't supposed to be there, but flew across the Atlantic and fought jet lag to be there for her.
IMO, initially, we saw Alexander through Carrie's eyes. She was so fascinated by this exciting new world he introduced her to that she looked past his faults, and the audience was encourage to do the same. But I see what you view as Alexander being open about his shortcomings and emotional hangups as pure selfishness on his part. For a relationship to work, both people have to be willing to compromise. You establish what you WON'T change, but have to be willing to change somewhere in order to make it work. IMO, Alexander wasn't willing to change ANYTHING. Carrie was welcome to stay and to fit into his life as long as he didn't have to be inconvenienced by anything. If he had to work it was okay to blow off her friends. If he wanted to go to a nice dinner, that was what Carrie needed to do. She gave up A LOT of her life in order to be with him, and what did he give up? Nothing, and he told her up frong that he wasn't going to. Nice that he was that up front ... but just what did he really see in Carrie if he was satisfied with her giving up so much when he wouldn't bend at all? He wasn't an obvious monster. But I think his extreme self-centeredness indicated his comfort with inflicting harm on a woman - emotional not physical. I don't think his hitting her was intentional, but it was symbolic of the emotional harm he was doing to her by giving her nothing from an emotional standpoint.
Big on the other hand ... he was always reluctant to sacrifice and to give to her, but he DID come throught for her. Unlike Alexander, when he was faced with going to Paris, he only wanted her to go if she was going for herself and not just for him. In other words, it was more important to him that she remain true to herself than that he get what he wanted. But IMO, the best example of Big's positive relationship with Carrie was the episode where she had the disasterous birthday party that everyone missed. After her miserable day, she walked up to her place and saw his car parked out front. The smile on her face in that scene demonstrated that Big could bring her thorugh the bad times in her life in a way that even her best friends could not. They were all in town but faced varoius speed bumps which kept them from being there to celebrate with her like they were supposed to (until later at the diner) Big on the other hand wasn't supposed to be there, but flew across the Atlantic and fought jet lag to be there for her.
