Misheard Lyrics

[biondetta]

I was just reminded of another one that I always get wrong. The line is:

I smell sex and candy here

But I hear:

I smell sex in Candy's hair.

[Deleted]

Oh, someone reminded me of Sting and the Police. Several of us, for years, thought that the line “How my poor heart aches” was “I’m a pool hall ace.” I actually heard someone singing along with the song and said, “Where does that line come from? What’s it got to do with the rest of the song?” The other person, of course, could not answer. I think I came across the lyrics somewhere and realized what they really were.

Oh, and someone mentioned “corduroy.” Well, remember that Paul Simon song, “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover?” Well, the line “You don’t need to be coy, Roy” I heard as “You don't need corduroy.” And yeah, it really confused me till I got it straight.

[tutts]

In Rob Thomas' new song Lonely No More, I heard:
Open up your heart and I can do your girlfriends.

I was like, uh Rob? Proposing an orgy to a girl with her girlfriends might not be the best idea!

But the lyrics really are:
Open up your heart like you do your girlfriends.

In Briney Spears' Toxic, I had a friend who thought the lyrics were
"Your toxic gum" instead of "You're toxic I'm slipping under."

[Shalamar]

Whoops. I thought Rob was perving about doing her girlfriends, too.

And I thought that line from Toxic was "Your toxic tongue slipping under." The "tongue slipping under" part made sense, but toxic? If his tongue is toxic, get it the hell away from me!

[blondie]

I used to think of it as the Phil Collins halfwit song.

And that narrowed it down how? ;D

[Cinchona]

Briney Spears

Pirate name!

[Deleted]

I had always thought AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds" was "Dirty deeds and the Thunder Chief" rather than "Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap".

One more...

A friend of mine thought that Billy Joel's "Allentown" said, "I am cold, throw me a seal". The real lyrics are "Iron and coal, chromium, steel".

[heyitsroni]

This is an oldie, and I have no idea who sings it, but my brother and I used to sing:

"Gimme the beat, boys, and free my soul/I wanna get lost in your toilet bowl and drift awaaaaaaayyy" when it turns out they were saying "...rock and roll/and drift awayyyy."

Whenever that song would come on the radio I always had this visual of the Tidy Bowl Man swirling around in the bottom of a commode somewhere. My husband and I still sing it like that, and our kids think we're nuts. We are, by the way, but it's the only way we know. ;D

[Deleted]

Unironical, your mention of a seal made me remember one. I have a male friend who is phenomenal at picking up even the most garbled lyrics. This is why this cracked everyone up so much. You know that Go-Gos song, "Our lips are sealed?" Well, he thought it was "Oh, let's be seals!"

I think what sealed (heh) it for him was apparently in the video at some point it showed the Go-Gos splashing around in a fountain.

[Deleted]

Ok, the song played during the credits of One Crazy Summer ("What It Takes" by Honeymoon Suite) had this line:
It's not like I've been mean to you
Its not like I've got something better to do
I always heard it as:
It’s not like I, can me do you?
Like suddenly the guy got so horny that he couldn't talk straight? And then delved straight back into normal speaking tones for the rest of the song.

Another song from a soundtrack - In The Lost Boys, Lou Graham sings a version of Elton John's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me". The lyrics are:
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light
But I always heard:
The tomb is red, my meaning when I met you…
That makes absolutely no sense, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out the real words until I looked up the lyrics online.

Oh, and my best friend in college had a great one from "Margaritaville" that still makes me giggle when I hear the song. She heard the line "stepped on a pop top" as "stepped on a pop tart". Totally different visual!

Hee! Another one I just figured out from that song is, “Lookin’ for my lost shaker of salt.” I thought the line was, “Lookin’ for my lost sugar and salt,” until, like, yesterday. Duh, me.