Worst. Movie. Ever.

[hobbes]

People, people - this thread begins and ends with a horrible, horrible film titled "Nothing But Trouble".

I think about that film and feel my blood boil. I will never, ever forgive any of those involved with this dreck.

[Alexis Machine]

HEY! I liked Nothing But Trouble.

If noone has mentioned it already, I absolutely despised Texas Rangers. This movie singlehandedly proved that James Van der Beek, Usher, and Ashton Kutcher can go to hell. Why, oh why, was Alfred Molina in this? Was he blackmailed? I managed to watch 40 minutes, and the only part I liked was Robert Patrick saying,'Boy rides a horse like he's riding his sister. He knows he's doind something wrong.'

[angel17987]

zivvie said:

Translvania 6-5000. Yikes.

[small voice] I love this movie [small voice]

There are oh so many bad movies. Showgirls, Battlefield Earth, AI, Meet Joe Black(the Brad Pitt version), Always, Pearl Harbor. I can't decide which is the worst one, although Showgirls was so absolutley awful it was great.

[roxpopuli]

4) Punch Drunk Love -- A truly wasted performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman, who was superb as usual. Not even his acting could save this trying hard, disorganized, morphine-induced train wreck.

Yea, even he couldn't save the dirty toilet water that was Twister. I know Helen Hunt has been married to men and stuff, but every movie I have ever seen her in where there is a love story involved (Twister, As Good as it Gets, Pay it Forward), she is always totally unconvincing. I always think she is a closet lesbian in every movie I have seen her in, and Twister was no exception.

Not to mention, in Twister, the pacing was just so stupid--you are about to die because you put yourself in harm's way--time to confess your love to someone you hated enough to divorce just recently because disaster brings you together!. And yea--the entire earth is scoured clean by a tornado of biblical proportions, but a belt looped around a pipe makes it possible for you to ride it out without having the flesh flayed from your stupid bones. HATE.

On another note--many of the movies listed here fall into my "so bad they are campy fun" category--like Showgirls, Clash of the Titans, Battlefield Earth, Starship Troopers. These are all great to watch with your friends while under the influence of mind-deranging substances.

Then there is just BAD--like Catwoman, where everyone involved should just be taken out and shot for the good of humanity.

[monsterzero]

hobbes said:

People, people - this thread begins and ends with a horrible, horrible film titled "Nothing But Trouble".

I think about that film and feel my blood boil. I will never, ever forgive any of those involved with this dreck.

No kidding, I never got it. It's like Deliverance meets the Beverly Hillbillies written by a waiter who just got fired by some yuppie who complained his quiche was underdone. It's not funny, just annoying. Should have just called it 'When Stereotypes Collide And Leave Everybody Miserable.'

Also, anybody seen BLOOD FREAK? The immortal '60s Church-based 'don't do drugs or you'll turn into a turkey man' movie that bashes marijuana as the narrator keeps chain smoking throughout the whole thing?

[hobbes]

No! But I may need to purchase that and set it aside my copy of "Reefer Madness". Good times.

Also, I will submit "City of Angels". I dare anyone to disagree with me.

[Deleted]

*adds a couple of more items to the, "For LMAO" section on my Movies To Rent list*

I haven't seen Blood Freak, and I've only seen clips from Reefer Madness. But, I realize that all I have to do is add my personal favorite, Maryjane, to those two, and my "Cautionary Trilogy For The Chirrun" is complete.

[Deleted]

Saw created and now owns this thread. Worst.Movie.Ever. This movie is the biggest pile of shit I have ever seen. Horrible.

Bad Santa is still my #1, but Saw is right up there. Man, that was incredibly awful.

[indygirl]

I just saw my new W.M.E. last night. Modern Problems starring Chevy Chase. I cannot believe this thing was ever even in theaters. It had to be a straight to video release, but it came out in 1981. Does that predate the straight to video releases?

[duskwolf]

That's it!

I've done it...I borrowed The Butterfly Effect from the library (what? Did you think I'd pay MONEY for an Asston Kutcher movie?) and although I only watched maybe the first 1:15, I can most confidently say it was the worst movie I have ever seen:

1. Pseudo-intellectual crap: It invokes chaos theory as a quote in the beginning, but never goes further past any localized changes among characters in the movie. A movie that didn't even bother to do its own homework...and then flies in the face of its own concepts!

2. Too much needless violence: I'm not a prude, okay? But I think the filmmakers couldn't discern the difference between "provocative" and "manipulative and disgusting". Really, by the time the first half hour was over, I felt like I was being emotionally battered...perhaps just so when this movie showed me something even remotely clever, I would have called it the coolest thing I'd ever seen.

3. Blatant vanity project for Asston: Everything. You can totally see him sitting around watching the movie going "Dude, I was TOTALLY FIERCE in that scene!" "Look, I was in prison...I am SO HARDCORE!" And, am I the only one that was totally put off when Kayleigh says that Evan gave her "multiple orgasms" (Not even because it was Asston, but it was the movie trying to SELL Asston)?

4. Just plain stupid: A pedophile who stops being a pedophile because a creepy little kid told him to? A guy goes to a hardcore prison with real criminals when only CHARGED and not CONVICTED with murder? How about how Evan is trying to map human memory with WORMS (okay, I'll admit I might be wrong about that...but maybe just maybe he'd be better off with, uh, I dunno...MAMMALS)? Or hell, from the Director's Cut...a fetus chokes itself with its own umbilical cord? WTF?!?!?!

5. The performances: There is not a single brilliant performance in this movie. Not one. Okay, strike that, when Asston is reciting the Greek alphabet smugly in the face of a pledge. That's the only moment I really believed Asston. But that's probably because that's most likely what he's really like. I can even go a step further and call the performance of the editor was awful, because the pacing was too slow, or the writing, which was so forced and terrible.

6. The kicker: The rating for this movie on IMDB is 7.7. And I can't find a single person who's called this movie a "vanity project" when clearly it is. People were calling this movie "brilliant" and many, many other positive things. NO NO NO.

I wish I was a better sci-fi fan. I would have read "The Lathe of Heaven" a long time ago (instead, I just watched the crappy movie starring Lukas Haas), and shut all of them up by detailing how much of a better story it is. LeGuin knew about Chaos Theory, or at least understood it better, and never had to act all cool about it. ("Look at me! I'm smart! I invoked Chaos Theory, suckers!")

AAARGH. This hit me worse than that one review on Amazon by a guy who said you had to study Zen Buddhism before you really "understood" The Matrix.

Bastards.