Worst. Movie. Ever.

[topher]

You should have watched the director's cut. The ending is perfect for I Know I Shouldn't Laugh but ...

[pepper67]

This hit me worse than that one review on Amazon by a guy who said you had to study Zen Buddhism before you really "understood" The Matrix.

Huh?? I thought the only reason to watch The Matrix was to watch Keanu Reeves run around while wearing leather. Man, did I miss the point of that movie.

[spinsterliz]

Yikes. I'm scared now, because I was talking to someone a while ago and she kept saying how "The Butterfly Effect" was the best, smartest, coolest movie EVER. Sounds like she had pretty messed up taste, glad I didn't take her advice and see it.

"Jingle All the Way" is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I had to watch it while babysitting a few years back. It's an Ah-nold movie about a little boy who wants a really popular toy for Christmas, and Ah-nold runs around a mall looking for it, but he can't find it, and the bratty little boy wants revenge on his dad, so he actually tells someone he saw his neighbor messing around with his mother. This was supposed to be a comedy, people. All kinds of fucked up, especially since the end message was basically "Buy your spoiled brats whatever they want, or you're a bad parent."

[Deleted]

Cast Away, the 2 hour FedEx commercial. I left the theater in a blinding rage of hatred for all-things Tom Hanks (except Bosom Buddies which I will forever remember fondly even though Hanks distances himself from that part of his "past") and his annoying brand of earnest. When I care more about a volleyball than I do for the lead character, that's bad.

[Deleted]

indygirl said:

I just saw my new W.M.E. last night. Modern Problems starring Chevy Chase. I cannot believe this thing was ever even in theaters. It had to be a straight to video release, but it came out in 1981. Does that predate the straight to video releases?

Hee. I actually saw it at the theater when it came out. 3 times. I blame that on my fathers love of all things Chevy Chase.

[chiqui]

I just saw my new W.M.E. last night. Modern Problems starring Chevy Chase. I cannot believe this thing was ever even in theaters. It had to be a straight to video release, but it came out in 1981. Does that predate the straight to video releases?

Anything with Chevy Chase in it is one of the Worstest Movies Ever. Was that guy ever funny, as oposed to people thinking he's funny because he's *supposed* to be funny?

Wasn't Modern Problems the movie with the stereotypical tubby Jamaican housekeeper who sprinkles juju powder around the room to 'cure' Chevy's problem, and he snorts it up like cocaine? And at the end the daughter's pet mouse gets loose and sniffs it, then develops superpowers and flies up the chimney? That's the only bit I can remember, and yes, it was that bad.

(edited to add that last bit)

[Deleted]

This talk of Chevy Chase reminds me of the awful Nothing But Trouble. Every single actor in that pretty much made fools of themselves and not in a fun, light-hearted way -- an embarrassing way. If I'm not mistaken, Dan Akroyd's nose was meant to be reminiscent of a penis, if that gives you a general idea of how bad this was.

Plus, there was a scene in it that was jarring because of the violence of it, smack in the middle of a "comedy." A gang of delinquent kids stumbles into Akroyd's lair and because they're disrespectful to him he puts them on this kind of roller coaster contraption at the end of which are waiting giant, slashing knives to chop them up. It was hard to stomach -- Not just that scene, but the whole thing.

[Deleted]

Did that movie have John Candy in it, playing multiple characters? I seem to recall something like that. I think this movie wanted to be Young Frankenstein-ish, but never made it.

[Deleted]

bagofbones said:

Did that movie have John Candy in it, playing multiple characters? I seem to recall something like that.

I think you're right. One character was a cop and the other was a really ghastly looking woman -- I think. Plus there was this pair of obese semi-human child-like characters. Everything in it that was supposed to be funny just came off really, really grotesque.

[sasharae]

Not to derail the Chevy Chase Hate Train, but I run screaming from the room whenever I see Chariots of Fire playing on TV. My friend's parents took us to see that film in the theater when we were nine or ten years old and I remember sitting there the whole time thinking, "WTF? Why are we here? What kind of movie IS this?" I swear, the hours spent watching CoF were the two (or six? It seemed to go on forever) most boring hours of my life and I've never forgotten it. Scarred for life, I am.

I should probably note: going to the movies was not a major, once in a while treat in my life. My family owned a bunch of theaters, and my parents would drop me and my four siblings off seemingly every weekend just to get rid of us for a few hours. My grandmother ran a couple of the theaters and would bring candy to us and check on us periodically. I was jaded and knew what I liked. Chariots of Fire was not it.

This was also the golden era of one Mr. Chevy Chase and I thought he was the hottest thing around. He was one of my first celeb crushes. Craptastic films? I don't know what you're talking about.