Worst. Movie. Ever.

[queequeg]

2) Enough -- Jennifer Lopez in an artsy-fartsy wannabe, action wannabe, revenge wannabe, romance wannabe, mother and child tearjerker wannabe mess. And that kid CERTAINLY deserves the Worst Performance by a Child in a Movie award. If you don't believe me, go see it.

ITA. Enough is truly awful, even by J.Lo's standards which is saying a lot. Also, the message - it's ok too kill your husband because he beat you up - is just a bit dubious and no one in the film even questioned it. Oh, and it was boring as hell too.

I've got another - Event Horizon. It had potential at the beginning, I think, but just descended into dross. Paul WS Anderson just doesn't know how to do suspense or even effective gory moments.

[workgeordie]

I completely forgot to mention one of the 3 worst movies I have ever watched and those were the first three Star Wars movies. I didn't give the prequels even a chance while even the hardcore fans didn't like them. Those movies were expensive geek dreams by someone who has to look up narrative structure in a text book. I made myself very unpopular with many people and I tried hard. Watched them at least 2-3 times each but every time I had to be pinched by friends and familiy to stay awake.

[topher]

Cellular, terrible. Don't even rent it. Leave it in the $5 Walmart bin.

[beniciosgal]

The worst movie ever has to be the one when Madonna is friends with Rupert Everett and they get drunk and have sex and she gets pregnant and they raise a kid together and then she turns into a massive bitch. What was that called again??

This is from way back, but somebody said they hated 21 Grams and found it really offensive. I loved it, personally. But I'm curious about what was offensive...I'm wondering if I missed something.

[ladymadonna]

Kangaroo Jack. My daughter made me rent it, and about halfway through, she turned to me and said, "This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen."

Yeah, so, she was 5 at the time, and when a FIVE year old thinks a movie about a talking kangaroo is stupid, well then, there ya go.


I also really, really hated Pearl Harbor. Talk about incredibly boring...

[cuckoo]

beniciosgal said:

The worst movie ever has to be the one when Madonna is friends with Rupert Everett and they get drunk and have sex and she gets pregnant and they raise a kid together and then she turns into a massive bitch. What was that called again??

"The Next Best Thing"? I haven't seen it. Judging by your description I don't think I will.

Word to Work Geordie on the "Star Wars" mention. I figured I'd give them a go to see what all the fuss was about. I never thought I'd be able to get so friggin' annoyed by a clumsy tin man and a guy in a hairy suit, but I was. They showed that one sequel, prequel whatever with Ewan McGregor on tv yesterday and I sat and laughed through the first 15 minutes. Here come scary robots! ZAPPPP! SWOOOOSH! Disco Sabres! I then quickly switched to another channel before I wasted any more time.

[Neurochick]

I actually paid to see Van Helsing on opening night. Gah, that movie was horrible. It tried so hard to be funny and scary, and failed miserably at both.

I also paid to see In The Bedroom, cuz I was crushing on Nick Stahl so I wanted an excuse to see him. First of all, he's only in the movie for the first 20 minutes (if that). Second of all, that movie ran s-l-l-o-o-w-w-w. I actually remember nodding off a few times. The beginning was good, the end was satisfying, but the entire middle was crap.

You are so right about both movies. Van Helsing yikes. That was awful, was it supposed to be funny? It wasn't, it wasn't scary either.

Also true about In The Bedroom, that movie was about an hour too long. And what was with that scene where the man was opening the bridge, that scene went on forever.

The worst movie ever was Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, hands down. The movie had no plot, nearly no dialogue, just car chases and things exploding and not in a good way either.

I saw part of this several weeks ago, and was mesmerised by how bad it was. I was left wondering, "Is this what being married to Melanie Griffith does to you? And if so, WHAT is Lucy Liu's excuse?

I'm still laughing at this one. I really wonder how much $$$ they paid both of them for this; I mean this movie was BAD and what was worse was I was on a bus trip when they put this movie on the TV and I couldn't walk out.

[spinsterliz]

"Teaching Mrs. Tingle." Good Lord almighty. This was the stupidest movie I've ever seen. I'm surprised no one has brought it up yet, but that's probably because most people were smart enough not to see it. The whole plot revolved around a teacher who was such a uber bitch she couldn't possibly be real, and a trio of WB teenagers in preppy clothes, as if I don't see enough of those annoying people already just by turning on my t.v. And then a bunch of filler. GAAH.

Okay, I know everybody hates "Batman and Robin." No wonder. But I hate "Batman Returns" even more. So much unneccesary violence, especially for a comic strip superhero flick. It made my stomach turn. Plus, it just sucks.

[huntergrayson]

You are so right about both movies. Van Helsing yikes. That was awful, was it supposed to be funny? It wasn't, it wasn't scary either.

My friends and I were almost kicked out of the theatre for snarking/laughing. It didn't even look good -- all the CGI effects were really obvious and fake, the cinematography was blah, etc. For 200 MILLION DOLLARS, a film should at least work as eye-candy. But no. Whenever it got bad/worse/incoherent, I turned to my friend and seethed "200 million dollars" We decided that two hours of watching Hugh Jackman burn 100 dollar bills would not only more entertaining, but also hold the audience in less contempt. FWIW, Jackman's first instinct was to play it campy/tongue-in-cheek, but the director said no, he must be tormented!

In the Bedroom -- my dad and I went to see the US premiere of this because he was about to hit up the composer's mom for alumni donations the next day. Nice how there was five minutes of music in the whole film. I like how this and Mystic River were heralded as groundbreaking returns to the classical style of filmmaking when both were (a) slow and (b) melodramatic as hell. I watched the six-hour(!) version of Fanny and Alexander and it was faster and subtler than either of these Bergman wannabes. And all critics who say that Clint isn't slow, just shooting movies how they used to be made should look at the following: Bringing Up Baby, His Girl Friday (spoken twice than normal speed! take that, Lorelai!), any Hitchcock, Lubitsch, Sturges, etc.

Major hate for Mona Lisa Smile -- the only way that any of Julia Roberts behaviors/outfits/dialogue makes any sense is that if she is from the future. I thought this was just Pamie and my friends' theory, but no. An actual crewmember told me this was the ongoing joke/theory on the set itself. It is vastly more entertaining though, esp. if she's a cyborg ala Terminator.

[Deleted]

I see you all with Van Helsing and will raise you a Bad Santa. We turned both off after about 20-30 minutes.

Remember the Titans: It's. a. freaking. Sport.

I have to disagree on this one. The movie isn't about football. It's a true story (Hollywood style) about integration in lily-white Alexandria, VA, which is a stone's throw from our nation's capital. I actually found the plot pretty inspiring--two coaches, one black, standing up against racism in a town where a major thoroughfare is still named Jefferson Davis Highway.