The Funniest Line Ever

[dwanollah]

I also love Navin's entire "that's the only thing I need" soliloquy from The Jerk. "I need this..."

That reduces me to hysterics every single time I see it.

Of course, I quote that movie (as well as Airplane!) all the freakin' time anyway.

Ah, yes, and to prove it, my own post from a few pages back. (Quoting myself. I suck.)

"... the ashtray, the remote control, the paddle-ball game, and that's ALL I need! Not one other thing, not- I need this!"

"The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!"

"HE HATES THESE CANS!"

"Yeah, he ran the last pizza-in-a-cup guy out of business."

And my favorite?

"Hey Navin, I wrapped your sammich in cellophane, jus' the way you like it."

[proper stranger]

"Bring us some fresh wine!"

And don't forget:

--Lord loves a workin' man
--Don't trust whitey
--See a doctor and get rid of it.

[Deleted]

According to extensive research (aka random movie quoting at work), these lines have been found to be the funniest:

1) "What's in the BAAAAAAHX?!" - Brad Pitt, Se7en

2) "Gerry, I'm a woman. We don't say what we want! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it... That's what makes us so fascinating, and not a little bit scary." Lydia, Sliding Doors

3) The "Where is my supersuit?" exchange* between Lucius and Honey from The Incredibles

4) "'Cause if you are the Christ, you're the great Jesus Christ. Prove to me that you're no fool; walk across my swimming pool."** - King Herod, Jesus Christ, Superstar

5) "I shall call you 'Squishy' and you shall be mine, and you shall be my squishy." - Dory, Finding Nemo

*For which I use a lovely assistant to carry off
**Perhaps more WTF? than laughter results

[Karrit]

"I'm a woman. We don't say what we want! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it... That's what makes us so fascinating, and not a little bit scary." Lydia, Sliding Doors

Hee. I use this on Mr. Karrit all the time.

[Deleted]

I caught a little bit of Thelma and Louise on t.v. the other day and I'd forgotten that there was some really funny stuff in there (for a movie that has such dark themes). My favorite (going by memory):

Thelma is holding a state trooper at gun-point, forcing him into the trunk of the car:

Thelma: Do you have a wife?

Trooper: Y...yes...

Thelma: Yeah? Well, good. You treat her sweet. My husband didn't treat me sweet and look at how I ended up.

[Deleted]

I searched and found nothing from Steel Magnolias. Can't believe it! That movie has some of my favourite all time funny quotes.

Ouiser: "I'm not crazy M'Lynn. I've just been in a bad mood for the last 40 years!"

Truvy: "Sammy's so confused. He don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt."

Clairee: I've just been to the dedication of the new children's park.
Truvy: Yeah, how did that go?
Clairee: Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
Truvy: Was she hurt?
Clairee: I doubt it. She got hit in the head.

Drum: Ouiser, can we call a truce long enough for me to get a piece of cake?
[Ouiser slices him the tail piece of an armadillo cake]
Drum: Aww, thanks Ouiser. Nothin' like a good piece of ass.

And I can't remember the exact full quote but here's my fav-
Truvy: Her whole life's been an experiment in terror. When it comes to pain and suffering, she's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor.

More great quotes from Steel Mags is here www.imdb.com/title/tt0098384/quotes

[caeryniah51]

From Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Robin Hood: And I say we fight back! Are you with me? Yea or nay?
Merry Man: Which one means yes?
Robin Hood: Yea.
Townspeople: Yea!!!

[monkeypox]

Vacation. A plethora of quotes.

Truly a classic!

A few from the funniest movie ever made, Young Frankenstein:

Frankenstein: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor: Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.

Frankenstein: What knockers!
Inga: Why thank you, Doctor.

Frankenstein: Pardon me, boy. Is this the Transylvania Station?
Boy: Ja, track twenty nine. Hey, can I give you a shine?

Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He would have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Woof.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.

[shriekingeel]

The line from that I always remember is:

"He vass...my BOYFRIEND!"

[Deleted]

"I am not a Frankenstein. I'm a Fronkensteen."