The Funniest Line Ever

[kafka]

More from Young Frankenstein:

Fredrick: Would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?
Igor: And you won't be angry?
Fredrick: I will *not* be angry!
Igor: Abby Someone.
Fredrick: Abby Someone. Abby Who?
Igor: Abby Normal.
Fredrick: Abby Normal.
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.

(Every time I see our AbbyNormal's screen name, I think of Young Frankenstein).

From one of my favorite movies, The Birdcage:

--- "Shouldn't you be holding the crucifix? It is THE prop for martyrs! "

--Albert: Don't give me that tone!
Armand: What tone?
Albert: That sarcastic contemptuous tone that means you know everything because you're a man, and I know nothing because I'm a woman.
Armand: You're not a woman.
Albert: Oh, you bastard!

-- "so you're going to a cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian. "

-- "So this is Hell. And there's a crucifix in it. "

City Slickers had a lot of great lines in it too but the only one I can remember right now is:

--- "If hate were people, I'd be China!"

And, just because I'm sick, I have to include Mommie Dearest's "NO WIRE HANGERS!" because it never fails to make me laugh.

[kateln]

From Hope and Glory:


"Are you strong enough for another shock? You're going to be a grandmother. Hello Grandma!"

"Fuck!"
"That word is special to us, that word must only be used in emergencies..."

"Rowan! Rowan! It was a stray bomb! Thank you Adolf!"

The family is under the stairs during carpet bombing
"Oh please God! Not on us! Drop it Mrs. Evans, she's a cow!"

"It's all sticky!"

[Deleted]

Zoolander:

Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?

Mer-man! *cough cough* Mer-man!

What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?

[esoterica]

From Super Troopers:

"... and that was the second time I got crabs."

"If you were my son, Mac, I would've smothered you by now."
"Smothered me in gravy, you big dirty man!"

From Orgazmo:

"I'm a bad, bad Mormon."

"I don't want to sound like a queer or nothing, but I think unicorns kick ass."

"How would Christ benefit from me putting my tongue in someone's mouth?"

I used to have that last line as the outgoing message on my voicemail.

[indigo]

And, just because I'm sick, I have to include Mommie Dearest's "NO WIRE HANGERS!" because it never fails to make me laugh.

Me too! Mommy Dearest is one of the best bad movies ever made. I got a video copy of amazon or ebay or somewhere a couple of years ago...watching it gives me a lot of laughs. Especially NO WIRE HANGERS!!

Orgazmo? That movie is so awesome!

[Deleted]

This is an old one but... Born Yesterday with Judy Holliday. Once a friend and I were getting ready to leave the house and that movie was on. I refused to step out the door until I got to hear the line, "I'm stupid and I like it!"

[Shanmac]

Funniest line is "Mommie Dearest"?

Christinaaaa! Bring me an axe!

So disturbing. So hilarious.

[johnboysmole]

One of my favorites from Mommie Dearest was "Don't fuck with me fellas!"

But my all time funniest line came from Dana Carvey when he was imitating Ross Perot: "Ya can't squat on a pitbull and get rhubarb pie!" Part of the hilarity comes from the way he speaks as Ross Perot, all fast and manic.

It's a classic.

[kafka]

shanmac said:

Funniest line is "Mommie Dearest"?

Christinaaaa! Bring me an axe!

So disturbing. So hilarious.

So true. I giggled just in reading that!

I would dearly love a Mommie Dearest thread because there is so much juicy stuff to talk about with that film. And if "Lost Boys" can get one (with 3 pages in it, no less!), then I think Mommie Dearest deserves one even more.

Hmm....

[dwanollah]

There was one. It may have been deep-sixed. "DAMMIIIIIT!" I'll look!

BEST! MOVIE! EVER!