The Funniest Line Ever

[baseballgirl]

You tryin' to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curve ball?

[duskwolf]

Mr. Wolf reminded me of another one...see if you can get the obscure reference:

"They killed Fritz! Oh my God, they killed Fritz!"

[Deleted]

"If you read the T.V. Guide, you don't need a tv."

[sexlexia]

Yes a mighty winds a blowin’, cross the land and cross the sea,
It’s blowin’ peace and freedom, it’s blowin’ equality.
Yes it’s blowin’ peace and freedom, it’s blowin’ you and me…

[Camille]

"You are such are pig-fucker, Phillip!"

"Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker?"

"Well. Let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs."

"Oh, yeah!"

[shriekingeel]

"You had me at 'Cocks fuck assholes.'"

[hasbro]

"This doesn't mean the phone company killed Kennedy does it?"

"Lee Harvey Oswald."

"Maybe Chuckie Loader has an alias. Biff Loader?"

"Prior to the Great Day of the Rope have you got an adress?"

[whistletops]

"all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under H for toy. "

"This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated. "

"Do you mind if I name my first child after you? "Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it"

"Don't eat that. Eating that can cause very large breasts. Oh my God, I'm too late. "

"Bodie, I noticed you stopped stuttering. "
"I've been giving myself shock treatments. "
"Up the voltage."

"I was remembering the words of Socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'"

LOVE Real Genius! ;D

[foxfair]

...and we ate crawdad, and when there was no crawdad, we ate sand..."

and Hi, who had been ignoring him up til this, sputters
"You ate SAND?"

Ah yes, that one had me on the floor.

This one had me on the floor clutching my stomach in pain from laughing so much - it's all in the delivery - outraged and perfect:

"Hello?....hello?....HELLO?...... How DARE you! Fuck You!"

Withnail and I.

[emersende]

Speaking of which, "I have a heart condition. If you hit me, it's murder."

"How do we make it die?"

"We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now."

"You're lying, you've got antifreeze."
"You bloody fool! You should never mix your drinks!"

Oh, Richard E. Grant.

ETA: Oh my God! How could I have forgotten:

"You did that on purpose! You are a sick, perverted weirdo, and you should straighten up, fly right, and apply yourself like any decent Presbyterian!"

And this one's mainly in the delivery, but I'm including it anyway:

"You are all victims of your own cowardice!"