Post by Neurochick on Nov 1, 2013 15:50:54 GMT -4
Very interesting blog articles about 50 Shades of Grey. I liked the books, but I do get why some women say the relationship is abusive and I also get why some women say it's not.
Here's how I see the controversy. I think women who are in abusive relationships, don't talk about it. At a meeting where I was last week, a woman mentioned that she'd been married to a sociopath. Now, I have sort of known this woman for about 15 years and I didn't know that about her, most of the women in the group didn't know that either; however most of us did know about a woman who was struggling with her boyfriend who had a mental breakdown after a traumatic event.
I think a lot of women don't talk about abusive relationships they have had because there's still a "blame the victim" stigma, you know, "you're so smart, how could you have gotten YOURSELF into that mess?" Or if the woman is still with the man, fear that if they say something, he'll become more violent. I remember in that movie "For Colored Girls" the character Janet Jackson played had an assistant who was in an abusive marriage. At the end of the movie, Janet's character said something like, "I've known her for seven years and I never knew she was being abused."
So if I've never been in an abusive relationship, and neither have any of my friends, or so I think, it's easy for me to imagine meeting a billionaire like Christian Grey and him sweeping me off my feet.
One thing that did bother me in the book was, it was never really mentioned exactly HOW Christian Grey made his money. If I'd written the book, I would have made him some type of tech genius, someone who created an app that made it possible to plan a wedding in one fell swoop or something.
Here's how I see the controversy. I think women who are in abusive relationships, don't talk about it. At a meeting where I was last week, a woman mentioned that she'd been married to a sociopath. Now, I have sort of known this woman for about 15 years and I didn't know that about her, most of the women in the group didn't know that either; however most of us did know about a woman who was struggling with her boyfriend who had a mental breakdown after a traumatic event.
I think a lot of women don't talk about abusive relationships they have had because there's still a "blame the victim" stigma, you know, "you're so smart, how could you have gotten YOURSELF into that mess?" Or if the woman is still with the man, fear that if they say something, he'll become more violent. I remember in that movie "For Colored Girls" the character Janet Jackson played had an assistant who was in an abusive marriage. At the end of the movie, Janet's character said something like, "I've known her for seven years and I never knew she was being abused."
So if I've never been in an abusive relationship, and neither have any of my friends, or so I think, it's easy for me to imagine meeting a billionaire like Christian Grey and him sweeping me off my feet.
One thing that did bother me in the book was, it was never really mentioned exactly HOW Christian Grey made his money. If I'd written the book, I would have made him some type of tech genius, someone who created an app that made it possible to plan a wedding in one fell swoop or something.
