HGTV Bitch Thread

[famvir]

I liked the Flip This (or That) House, the original ones. Then they started to get gross and low rent, like a $50,000 flip in Texas where they find snakes or rat infestations. Then the flipper guy let his country club wife do a flip, and most of the show was like Real Wives (oh! I broke my nail!").

But I really liked the legit one, the first one, where they would follow either a first time flipper or a professional, and they had a lady who would come in and say, "Don't paint this room purple! Neutrals! Refinish the cabinets, don't buy new!" And the flippers would anyway, and the potential buyers would all say, "I hate this purple!" Ah, good times....

And they would do a rundown on how much they made (or lost) because they took six months to sell, and were paying a monthly mortgage the whole time it was on the market.

[Deleted]

That's Property Ladder, I believe. I liked that one, too. It's interesting how a lot of home shows come and go as the economy changes. People were getting INCREDIBLE profits from flips on that show -- because it was during the housing bubble when it was almost impossible to NOT make money in the real estate market. I'm surprised there aren't shows now about buying foreclosures at auction. Maybe it'd be too depressing.

[Mutagen]

It's on Bravo rather than HGTV, but Million Dollar Listing has the BEST delusional sellers.   It is never not hilarious to me when they demand an extra $2mil be tacked onto the price because "I put in new cabinets!!", and the buyer walks in and promptly declares the kitchen a gut job.

I feel like I can safely laugh at these people because most of them have way too much money on their hands to start with.

[Ripley]

I'm always amazed when TTMR & I watch House Hunters about how we can grow to hate people we've never met so much that we wish physical violence upon them. And it happens so quickly too! We always say, "Where do these people who are 29 and buying their first home get a $400,000 budget?" I am so sick of people saying, "This kitchen doesn't have the open concept design we were hoping for."

We're even worse when watching House Hunters International. If they're somewhere in Europe, they say, "We want to be in the heart of old town <City Name> but we really want three bedrooms and two bathrooms and an updated kitchen." Basically, they want to take an American-style house, transport it to Europe, and call it move-in ready. We have special hatred for people who are buying Caribbean property who want to be right on the beach but also want a pool and lots of privacy...because that totally isn't what everybody else who buys a home in the Caribbean also wants.

[chonies]

This isn't the fault of HGTV, but what I love in House Hunters International is IKEA Bingo. Otherwise, yes! "tsk--but we have a king-sized bed!" This is also a confession, but I often google people on HHI who I find vaguely suspect, and I am often rewarded with a bounty of WTF. One couple in Italy was there as missionaries, and per their website, had purposed to drive the witches out of Italy.

[famvir]

Jan 20, 2014 13:54:39 GMT -4 Ripley said:

I'm always amazed when TTMR & I watch House Hunters about how we can grow to hate people we've never met so much that we wish physical violence upon them. And it happens so quickly too! We always say, "Where do these people who are 29 and buying their first home get a $400,000 budget?" I am so sick of people saying, "This kitchen doesn't have the open concept design we were hoping for."

We're even worse when watching House Hunters International. If they're somewhere in Europe, they say, "We want to be in the heart of old town <City Name> but we really want three bedrooms and two bathrooms and an updated kitchen." Basically, they want to take an American-style house, transport it to Europe, and call it move-in ready. We have special hatred for people who are buying Caribbean property who want to be right on the beach but also want a pool and lots of privacy...because that totally isn't what everybody else who buys a home in the Caribbean also wants.

And they want to be able to walk to the town center as well as their job/school. " I love the pool and space here, but it's a potholed 1-hour drove from my work. Can you find me the same house for the same price within walking distance of my job in downtown (name the city's historic epicenter)? And I'd like it to be on the beach, furnished and move in ready, and the showers be high enough for my 6'4" body. That's all I want."

[chiquita]

And dual sinks! Heaven forbid anyone needs to share a sink in the bathroom. That one blows my mind, as we had a single sink but lots of counter space, which worked well for our family of 5 when I was growing up. I know some of the complaints on HH and HHI are probably manufactured for the show, but I like to judge the people anyway. I also am surprised by all the people who are horrified by the fact that the yards & homes are close together in suburban environments or that there's little privacy in an urban environment. Again, that's the norm where I have lived, so I'd love to know what they're used to.

[eclair]

Hee, when Cosmos is being all cozy in the bathroom sink and I'm washing my hands in the bathtub as a result, I think that a second sink would be nice. But I'm not holding out for a two sink bathroom because of my crazy cat.

So, if one is driving witches out of Italy, a pool is a must, right? It can be used to see if the suspected witches can float or not.

[Ripley]

Jan 20, 2014 14:35:51 GMT -4 chiquita said:

And dual sinks! Heaven forbid anyone needs to share a sink in the bathroom. That one blows my mind, as we had a single sink but lots of counter space, which worked well for our family of 5 when I was growing up.

That's another one I don't understand. One woman was shopping with her husband for a vacation home and insisted on two sinks in the master bath. She had to have her own sink because "boys are icky." Naturally, TTMR confirmed that men stick their penises into the bathroom sink every time they are in the bathroom and he reaffirms it every time a woman (it's always a woman) demands two sinks in the bathroom.

[chonies]

Jan 20, 2014 20:32:44 GMT -4 Ripley said:

Jan 20, 2014 14:35:51 GMT -4 chiquita said:

And dual sinks! Heaven forbid anyone needs to share a sink in the bathroom. That one blows my mind, as we had a single sink but lots of counter space, which worked well for our family of 5 when I was growing up.

That's another one I don't understand. One woman was shopping with her husband for a vacation home and insisted on two sinks in the master bath. She had to have her own sink because "boys are icky." Naturally, TTMR confirmed that men stick their penises into the bathroom sink every time they are in the bathroom and he reaffirms it every time a woman (it's always a woman) demands two sinks in the bathroom.

I wonder if she knows what men will do to her shoes, though.