Purple Prose and Other Bad Writing

[Martini Girl]

Shouldn't EL James and the Daily Fail be the patron saints of this thread?

Me thinks this will become one of my favorite's to read on this board!

[Smilla]

I went spelunking to try to find the original 50 Shades (fanfic version) and came up empty. Alas. EL James is definitely worthy of badfic sainthood.

[chiqui]

"Legolas, by Laura" owns this thread.

[Gigiree]

Dec 11, 2018 3:15:30 GMT -4 chiqui said:

"Legolas, by Laura" owns this thread.

You know, I would say, "WTF", but I teach writing to 5th & 6th graders, so. . .

[Martini Girl]

Dec 11, 2018 3:15:30 GMT -4 chiqui said:

"Legolas, by Laura" owns this thread.

Was Laura trolling us? Ack!

Excerpts from EL James

{cries because she made $100million from this crap, and now there is a generation of women who think this constitutes good sex}

ETA More Cringeworthy excerpts

Ah, to laugh or cry: that is the question after rolling your eyes so hard you fear you'll lose them.

[chonies]

Dec 11, 2018 15:21:05 GMT -4 Martini Girl said:

Dec 11, 2018 3:15:30 GMT -4 chiqui said:

"Legolas, by Laura" owns this thread.

Was Laura trolling us? Ack!

Excerpts from EL James

{cries because she made $100million from this crap, and now there is a generation of women who think this constitutes good sex}

ETA More Cringeworthy excerpts

Ah, to laugh or cry: that is the question after rolling your eyes so hard you fear you'll lose them.

FWIW, I heard an interesting interpretation about BDSM (both good and not-good)--that the rise in even crummy stuff like 50 Shades is about fulfillment in the general sense because it meant someone else took care of it, meaning desire. There was no thinking, it wasn't a chore, it was just completely in the hands of someone else. In otherwords, it's not about the special room or the tampon or whatever, it was just that someone else made the effort and did the work.

I'm new to genre-lit theory, so this is probably not news to anyone else, but I thought it was interesting to consider.

[chiqui]

Another Wattpad gem (the heroine is standing on the ledge of a building contemplating suicide, for context):

" The lucent Sun shine out over head as the balmy wind blows again and my dress billows out to the side of me. My dress, I smile just at the thought of it. Pale pink, it’s so pale it’s almost white, high waisted with a simple white bow around the waist point. "

[Martini Girl]

Dec 11, 2018 18:12:19 GMT -4 chonies said:

Dec 11, 2018 15:21:05 GMT -4 Martini Girl said:

Was Laura trolling us? Ack!

Excerpts from EL James

{cries because she made $100million from this crap, and now there is a generation of women who think this constitutes good sex}

ETA More Cringeworthy excerpts

Ah, to laugh or cry: that is the question after rolling your eyes so hard you fear you'll lose them.

FWIW, I heard an interesting interpretation about BDSM (both good and not-good)--that the rise in even crummy stuff like 50 Shades is about fulfillment in the general sense because it meant someone else took care of it, meaning desire. There was no thinking, it wasn't a chore, it was just completely in the hands of someone else. In otherwords, it's not about the special room or the tampon or whatever, it was just that someone else made the effort and did the work.

I'm new to genre-lit theory, so this is probably not news to anyone else, but I thought it was interesting to consider.

There is so much to unpack there. But basically, the details don't matter, the quality doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone took an interest in humiliating you for a finite period of time, and this is the basis of BDSM. Okay.

And Chiqui-- I don't even know where to begin with what you posted. It's like someone from Trump's administration decided to try fanfic.

[roseland]

Dec 11, 2018 20:06:30 GMT -4 chiqui said:

Another Wattpad gem (the heroine is standing on the ledge of a building contemplating suicide, for context):

" The lucent Sun shine out over head as the balmy wind blows again and my dress billows out to the side of me. My dress, I smile just at the thought of it. Pale pink, it’s so pale it’s almost white, high waisted with a simple white bow around the waist point. "

But does the dress have pockets?

[Auroranorth]

For your reading pleasure, I present, "Knight Moves" by Jamaica Layne

The walls of my vag vibrate and pulse at warp speed, and my labia are so swollen, they pound out a drumbeat as they slap up and down against the length of Lord Verdigris’ cock.