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Post by carrier76 on Aug 18, 2021 11:59:05 GMT -4
She has a biological father and a stepdad, who's the man who raised her. , ‘You have to give me the opportunity to ask both of those men for your hand in marriage.’Cringe. Sorry, this is my pet peeve when people share this and try to make it sound romantic or noble. She was a grown woman in charge of her own life, father's permission is not required. I get his desire to defend her, but he fell backwards into a standard patriarchal trope. I absolutely hate that as well. I hate it when anyone does it. |
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Post by prisma on Aug 18, 2021 12:07:43 GMT -4
When my brother asked my SIL to marry him around 25 years ago, he asked her father his permission first. I remember at the time asking him if, after her father said yes, did he club her in the head and drag her back to his cave?
I really appreciate what he said about how clueless white people are to the routine vitriol hurled toward black people. That message needs all the amplification it can get. But since he reference misogyny, it would have been nice if he'd realized how the "permission" thing relates back to women being viewed as property.
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hellsbells
Landed Gentry
Posts: 803
Jun 9, 2007 10:03:44 GMT -4
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Post by hellsbells on Aug 18, 2021 19:50:22 GMT -4
Still a work in progress, Josh Jackson, But I appreciate the work you've done and believe that you will continue.
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Post by Beyle on Aug 18, 2021 20:11:50 GMT -4
I'm not a fan of marriage anyway, but would side eye any guy who needed to ask my father for permission. I'm an adult. I don't need his permission.
That said I like Josh, but wish he hadn't brought that up.
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Post by Auroranorth on Aug 18, 2021 20:27:03 GMT -4
If someone asked my dad for his permission to marry me, dad would probably either laugh at them or tell them that they have to get our spaniel Daisy to agree.
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Post by Yossarian on Aug 18, 2021 21:21:59 GMT -4
I flat out told my husband that if he asked my Dad (who I loved very much but I was not his to give away) for permission to marry me I would say no to his proposal.
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Post by seat6 on Aug 18, 2021 21:45:46 GMT -4
My father, who is 75, thought it was too old-fashioned to ask my grandfather for permission to marry my mother. They were married in 1969, by mutual accord.
JJ is such a strange mix of wokeness and retro in that quote. I guess it just shows how deeply the patriarchy is entrenched.
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Post by Ripley on Aug 18, 2021 22:47:02 GMT -4
I flat out told my husband that if he asked my Dad (who I loved very much but I was not his to give away) for permission to marry me I would say no to his proposal. I said the same thing to TTMR. |
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Post by kostgard on Aug 19, 2021 2:44:18 GMT -4
I want to know why people were freaking out over Jodie proposing in the first place.
JJ over-corrected in defending her, but I can’t believe people were upset that she popped the question. Like, who cares who did the actual asking? They obviously both thought it was a good idea.
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tanyak
Blueblood
Posts: 1,803
Feb 26, 2007 1:29:22 GMT -4
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Post by tanyak on Aug 19, 2021 10:41:05 GMT -4
Mr. Tanyak didn't ask for permission, but did tell my parents (both of them) he would like their blessing. I guess that's the same side of the coin for a lot of folks, but it seems a little different to me. I would like to think that's what he did.
ETA: I agree it's old-fashioned and is probably more common in certain regions.
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