Joshua Jackson

[mrsvetes]

After MrVetes proposed, we were having dinner with my folks to share the news. We were BOTH very clear ahead of time that he wasn't asking permission but MrVetes got nervous and forgot what he was going to say to my parents so he rambled for a couple of sentences and then said "So I'm here to ask for your permission to marry your daughter" and my dad looked him straight in the eye and said "She's a grown woman. It's not my decision to make." Ha ha! 20+ years later and my dad still won't let him live it down.

[Ladybug]

Feb 26, 2007 1:29:22 GMT -4 tanyak said:

Mr. Tanyak didn't ask for permission, but did tell my parents (both of them) he would like their blessing. I guess that's the same side of the coin for a lot of folks, but it seems a little different to me. I would like to think that's what he did.

This is what Mr. Ladybug did. He met with them, showed them the ring and just wanted to know they liked him and would be happy for us to get married. I was 29 and had not lived with my parents for years. I completely understand the "blessing" thing, but too often this becomes about asking father's permission and it's twisted into all kinds of bizarreness by fundamentalists.

I also think it's completely out of line to attack Jodie for her story about proposing to Josh but sadly not surprising. Fandoms are getting so weird I think it's advisable not to give oxygen to these things. I didn't know people attacked her until Josh came out to defend her.

[carrier76]

I didn’t tell mr76 I would say no, but I asked him not do ask my dad for a blessing/permission. I was almost 35 when we got married. The jig was up.

My mom held me to some comment I made when I was teenager about how I’d have my stepdad AND dad walk me down the aisle when I got married. When the time came, I kind of wanted no one to walk me. She constantly reminded me, then my dad got all butthurt because, “I’M YOUR DAD!” My stepdad has been around since I was 14. 🙄 I think I told them, “it’s not my fault your guys got divorced” and caved to having both dads. It was awkward.

Topic? Pacey 4-eva!

[cabbagekid]

Aug 19, 2021 10:41:05 GMT -4 tanyak said:

Mr. Tanyak didn't ask for permission, but did tell my parents (both of them) he would like their blessing. I guess that's the same side of the coin for a lot of folks, but it seems a little different to me. I would like to think that's what he did.

ETA: I agree it's old-fashioned and is probably more common in certain regions.

That's what I would want. My ex used to say "how can we elope if you also want me to tell your parents beforehand that we're eloping?"
I swear, it makes sense in my head.

I'm not the property of my parents but I also have wonderful parents and I'd want to be respectful enough that they were aware I was being proposed too beforehand.

Anyway, I love Joshua Jackson and Jodie Turner-Smith. He's very aware of his privilege. I also think him asking her dad's was probably something he knew she wanted. As long as Jodie is okay with it, what do I care?

I agree, Pacey 4-eva!

[cubanitafresca]

Well good on Joshua for so fiercely defending his wife and calling out the racism. But it does feel kinda 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Though maybe that's what she wanted - in which case good for them.

But any man that wants to ask my father's permission to marry me .... clearly doesn't know me well enough to marry me.

[wixy]

I'm gonna be the outlier here. I don't follow these two so I don't know what racist comments they came in for. Plenty I'm sure because they're an interracial couple.

BUT I did see loads of negative commentary about the engagement story, mostly at LSA.

For one thing, a lot of black woman, myself included, had a problem with his phrasing. He said, she was "adamant" about the proposal. All he had to say was, "We both ended up proposing to each other at different times."

The connotation was that this pushy black woman had forcefully proposed to this wonderful white man. He can't talk about "black bodies" and not recognize that unsettling sentiment of how his wife would be perceived.

I'm not saying it's right, I'm saying, take some accountability and realize she's going to come off the loser in public when you make a statement that she "adamantly" proposed to you. It came off as she was so desperate for him. And his misogynist comment doesn't track either, if you're so progressive, why the need to ask her family's permission anyway?

Even talking about the black bodies part is weird and unnecessary to me. Did he just suddenly realize racism exists? And that phrasing just rubs me the wrong way. I can't help but wonder if he was with a white woman who had proposed to him, if he'd be telling that story.

Joshua's not a newbie, he's been an actor for a long time, he knows how the media works. Oversharing IS going to get commentary, some of it negative. Don't throw your dark-skinned black wife under the bus and then act shocked when people say awful things. This is colorism, racism and bigotry 101.

[varsity]

I think people are taking the "adamant" part out of context. The question posed to him by Jimmy Fallon was "Did you know that you were destined, that you were going to get married?". He said that he knew, when she proposed. The adamant part in my opinion, is that she was adamant about their destiny, that marriage was in their future . Because he says "She was adamant. She was right.",(they did get married), and then he says "It was the best thing I ever did." That's my take. I don't think he was shocked that people would say awful things. Up until this point I would imagine they had already got heaps of awful comments. However,what Jodie got on her social media was probably on another level that they hadn't experienced before. That's what shocked him.

[addison]

Man, they're a great looking couple - these photos are very cute

[Beyle]

I think Jodie's out of his league. She's absolutely gorgeous and stunning.

I like Josh, but meh.

[royalwave]

Nov 2, 2021 20:21:42 GMT -4 Beyle said:

I think Jodie's out of his league. She's absolutely gorgeous and stunning.

I like Josh, but meh.

I’ll second this. She is a beauty. He is run of the mill.