Post by Deleted on May 12, 2005 21:21:48 GMT -4
To: Graydon Carter
Subject: Comments on Vanity Fair, June 2005 Issue
Cc: Miss Anna Wintour, Maybelle Carter, Dr. Carter on ER
Just enjoying Vanity Fair, as always. You know I always say that Vanity Fair is gossip for the ages.
Who is your book review editor? I could do his/her job. Let me list some books in Red Bold Print and tell everyone to read them. Why? Let them figure it out for themselves. They can read can’t they?
Dominick Dunne is in London Calling and Dishing. Does “Dishing” mean something different in London, like the word f*g? Does “Dishing” mean eating? Because Dominicky is eating in London, but he ain’t telling no great stories about anyone.
Dominicky goes to the theatre (we are in London, remember, so they spell words differently and give them different meanings; that is called a British Sense of Humour which is very difficult for Americans to understand because we spell it differently and all): “The History Boys plays in repertory at the National Theatre, so it is almost impossible to get a ticket…Michael Parkinson, the Johnny Carson of England for 30 years, who I don’t even know but who is a friend of a friend of mine, made one of those magic calls to someone important and there I was, fourth row center…”.
Gosh darn, I had to flashback to the seventh grade and get out my Prescriptive English grammar (which is really American grammar and is also difficult for Americans to understand and difficult for the British too. I hear that they use Latin Grammar instead which is also very used in Texas and is the reason that Mr. Blair so likes Mr. Bush. They use the same Grammar---it is like chewing the same gum at the same time) and diagram that last sentence to make sure that it meant what I thought it meant. It didn’t.
Who edits Mr. Dunne? I don’t believe that he wrote that sentence. It has too many parts to it.
Anyway, I have no idea what that play, The History Boys, was about and neither, evidently, does Mr. Dunne. For he is out buying shirts during intermission and chatting up Milos Forman and Diane von Furstenberg and Martin Ballard who is a hall porter who knows the dirt on everyone but Mr. Dunne ain’t “Dishing”. He has tea somewhere with someone else instead.
And at this tea, Mr. Dunne discusses the mysterious death of a Mr. Sterne which is mysteriously rather like the death of Mr. Safra in Monte Carlo which was also mysterious. And if you want to know that mystery, let me “Dish” it out to you while Mr. Dunne sips his tea. Evidently Princess Grace and Prince Monocle of Monte Carlo had an illegitmate son named Prince Gracious who came to his end wearing nothing but a bunch of peacock tail feathers stuck in his anus while he was house and roof jumping one cool Monte Carlo night with some famous people.
My friend, TakeaGander, drew a graphic novel of his escapades, so I know this because I saw the pictures. And there was a dildo involved along with Prince Gracious’s penis and his two sets of breasts and his vagina. Prince Gracious was a real BI and not one of these “maybe I am and maybe I am not. I just don’t know. I’m confused.” Bi types. Wait, maybe it was only one pair of breasts---the other ones might have been his testicles. And they were latex. Now, I’m confused.
Mr. Dunne attends yet another dinner with people in the Know Industry who work for the The Daily Malling, Life With Britney, The Sun, The Moon, and The Crab, and Deaf, Dumb, and Blind Items. Only none of them “Dished” because their mouths were full of food and those Europeans and British are all so very polite. You really don’t need spit and sneeze guards around them when they eat. Because they eat and don’t “Dish” and the prime example of this is remember when Mr. Dunne had dinner with Princess Di (he may have been channeling her, so you think that she would be “Dishing” something) and Princess Di talked about O.J. Simpson. What did she say about him? Let me “Dish” while Mr. Dunne eats. She thought his ex-wife was really hot and that she would “do” her if she were bi.
Then Mr. Dunne has dinner with Johnnie Cochran and Jackie Childs and no “Dishing” was done there. Nope, they just ate. At this point, both Mr. Dunne and I were full from all the “Dishing” done. Mr. Dunne had food to sustain him. And I was full of his “teasing crap”.
Michael Wolff thinks that Liberals are not funny. He certainly is right about Mr. Blair but fire Mr. Wolff anyway, he is stupid and has no sense of humor---or is it humour?
Subject: Comments on Vanity Fair, June 2005 Issue
Cc: Miss Anna Wintour, Maybelle Carter, Dr. Carter on ER
Just enjoying Vanity Fair, as always. You know I always say that Vanity Fair is gossip for the ages.
Who is your book review editor? I could do his/her job. Let me list some books in Red Bold Print and tell everyone to read them. Why? Let them figure it out for themselves. They can read can’t they?
Dominick Dunne is in London Calling and Dishing. Does “Dishing” mean something different in London, like the word f*g? Does “Dishing” mean eating? Because Dominicky is eating in London, but he ain’t telling no great stories about anyone.
Dominicky goes to the theatre (we are in London, remember, so they spell words differently and give them different meanings; that is called a British Sense of Humour which is very difficult for Americans to understand because we spell it differently and all): “The History Boys plays in repertory at the National Theatre, so it is almost impossible to get a ticket…Michael Parkinson, the Johnny Carson of England for 30 years, who I don’t even know but who is a friend of a friend of mine, made one of those magic calls to someone important and there I was, fourth row center…”.
Gosh darn, I had to flashback to the seventh grade and get out my Prescriptive English grammar (which is really American grammar and is also difficult for Americans to understand and difficult for the British too. I hear that they use Latin Grammar instead which is also very used in Texas and is the reason that Mr. Blair so likes Mr. Bush. They use the same Grammar---it is like chewing the same gum at the same time) and diagram that last sentence to make sure that it meant what I thought it meant. It didn’t.
Who edits Mr. Dunne? I don’t believe that he wrote that sentence. It has too many parts to it.
Anyway, I have no idea what that play, The History Boys, was about and neither, evidently, does Mr. Dunne. For he is out buying shirts during intermission and chatting up Milos Forman and Diane von Furstenberg and Martin Ballard who is a hall porter who knows the dirt on everyone but Mr. Dunne ain’t “Dishing”. He has tea somewhere with someone else instead.
And at this tea, Mr. Dunne discusses the mysterious death of a Mr. Sterne which is mysteriously rather like the death of Mr. Safra in Monte Carlo which was also mysterious. And if you want to know that mystery, let me “Dish” it out to you while Mr. Dunne sips his tea. Evidently Princess Grace and Prince Monocle of Monte Carlo had an illegitmate son named Prince Gracious who came to his end wearing nothing but a bunch of peacock tail feathers stuck in his anus while he was house and roof jumping one cool Monte Carlo night with some famous people.
My friend, TakeaGander, drew a graphic novel of his escapades, so I know this because I saw the pictures. And there was a dildo involved along with Prince Gracious’s penis and his two sets of breasts and his vagina. Prince Gracious was a real BI and not one of these “maybe I am and maybe I am not. I just don’t know. I’m confused.” Bi types. Wait, maybe it was only one pair of breasts---the other ones might have been his testicles. And they were latex. Now, I’m confused.
Mr. Dunne attends yet another dinner with people in the Know Industry who work for the The Daily Malling, Life With Britney, The Sun, The Moon, and The Crab, and Deaf, Dumb, and Blind Items. Only none of them “Dished” because their mouths were full of food and those Europeans and British are all so very polite. You really don’t need spit and sneeze guards around them when they eat. Because they eat and don’t “Dish” and the prime example of this is remember when Mr. Dunne had dinner with Princess Di (he may have been channeling her, so you think that she would be “Dishing” something) and Princess Di talked about O.J. Simpson. What did she say about him? Let me “Dish” while Mr. Dunne eats. She thought his ex-wife was really hot and that she would “do” her if she were bi.
Then Mr. Dunne has dinner with Johnnie Cochran and Jackie Childs and no “Dishing” was done there. Nope, they just ate. At this point, both Mr. Dunne and I were full from all the “Dishing” done. Mr. Dunne had food to sustain him. And I was full of his “teasing crap”.
Michael Wolff thinks that Liberals are not funny. He certainly is right about Mr. Blair but fire Mr. Wolff anyway, he is stupid and has no sense of humor---or is it humour?
