Chick Tracts

[thirtythree]

I bet we get some prime Chick, because of the Pope's passing.

Well, I found this on Chick's office floor. I don't know if he's planning on using it or not. I've transcribed it for all of your benefit.

Melissa: Hey, Susy! I have a pressing[/i] question to ask you! Who is this "pope guy" I keep hearing about on the news?

Li'l Susy: I'll tell you[/i] who he is! He was the dictator of the Catholic church! The Catholics worship Mary and other humans[/i], instead of Jesus.

Meanwhile...

Pope John Paul II: Haw haw! I can't wait to fornicate[/i] with the nuns! I'm gonna change canon law to make them wear bikinis!

Lucifer: Haw haw indeed! This guy's gonna kick any day![/i]

Random Cardinal: Your highnesses, the young girls are ready to be "confirmed"!

JP2 and Lucifer: Fantastic!:

John Paul II suddenly collapses. Meanwhile...

Melissa: Who is Jesus?

[Insert "Jesus loves me AND you!" diatribe Li'l Susy spews out to her converts here.]

Cut to hell.

JP2: Where am[/b] I?

Lucifer: You're in my Vatican City, buddy! Hope the fire's HOT ENOUGH! Haw!

Some angel tosses JP2 into the reputable lake of fire.

Narrator: (picture of Linguini Jesus on the cross) Do you want to be a Catholic[/i], or follow the ways of Jesus? Take Li'l Susy's word for it! Catholics worship Mary, not our Lord in Heaven!

Standard Save-Me-Jesus! checklist card here.

[Deleted]

Random Cardinal: Your highnesses, the young girls are ready to be "confirmed"!

Considering the bent of the church in the past decade, shouldn't that be young boys?

Maybe he should get Fundy Bob in there somewhere, with his Hitlerstasche.

[Deleted]

When I saw the name of this topic, I thought that this was going to be some sort of Women's Literature Topic---like, if you loved Bridget Jones, you'll love Jane Austen Rides Again. But then I clicked on the links provided, and now all I can say is HOLY HELL!

[Malle Babbe]

Actually, Guinastasia, sizable numbers of girls and young women (incl. those studying to become nuns) have been targets of sex abuse. As is seen with Roman Polanski and R-Kelly, it hasn't gotten as much press.

[Deleted]

The sex abuse of nuns and children in Africa has gotten some press.

But more links for Chick Tracts! And shouldn't the Devil be more alluring? Being Christian should be hard work! Who wants to DO the Devil in these tracts?

[Deleted]

MalleBabbe said:

Actually, Guinastasia, sizable numbers of girls and young women (incl. those studying to become nuns) have been targets of sex abuse. As is seen with Roman Polanski and R-Kelly, it hasn't gotten as much press.

True, it just seems like all we hear about are the altar boys. Plus, it would give Chick a chance to rant about how homosexuality=pedophilia. (Which is of course, wrong).

[monsterzero]

I'm eagerly waiting for Chick to vent against propraganda so the whole world can implode.

[Deleted]

Gah! I had a few of those when I was a little kid. I used to sit around reading them all the time. I wish I could get my hands on a couple and start collecting them again.

[hasbro]

Speaking of the new pope I can only imagine what Chick is going to think given Benedict's childhood.

[bbug]

The website isn't up anymore! What happened, I wonder?