The Works of Stephenie Meyer

[Auroranorth]

I think they all deserve to be dumped in a tub of saltpeter.

[Ripley]

This made me laugh.

[Deleted]

Jun 1, 2009 1:08:10 GMT -4 Ripley said:

This made me laugh.

4chan (link not to 4chan) got it much better than Steph would. (Because, really, who thinks that Stephie would really come up with something that lol-larious?)

[huntergrayson]

OMG, remember that crazy chick from YouTube that yelled at Stephen King? The Soup just had a clip of her freaking out about the New Moon trailer. So much LOL.

[kathy1977]

I caved.

I went to my local Barnes and Noble and they had this elaborate setup for all the Twilight books. It literally looked like a shrine or something.

I think I am the only person in America, hell maybe even the world, who has yet to read these books. And I have been resisting the urge because it's been my experience when a book is this talked about, it's most likely gonna suck ass.

But on the other hand, maybe these books really aren't that bad. Obviously not Shakespeare but a good, entertaining read. There has to be a reason they're so popular. There just has to be.

Looks like I'm about to find out.

[Auroranorth]

I tried starting the first book, got five chapters in and quit out of boredom and mild nausea.

[bitca]

The first book is definitely the most boring. I would skip it and just watch the movie. The movie's pretty accurate without all the "blah blah blah" that's in the book. Seriously, each of those books are 500 pages and they could have been cut down to at least 200. At least!

It still makes me laugh that we have a thread called "The WORKS of Stephenie Meyer."

[Deleted]

One thing that was incredible to me was that the first book was sooooo looooong and...hardly anything happened. Like, the first three-fourths of it was all Bella whining about Edward and her high school and how Washington is too green and then in the last quarter there's a little vampire menace miniplot thrown in. I was also boggled when it was like blah blaaaahhh science class, they say two words to one another, Bella thinks he hates her, and then he saves her from thugs in an alley and they have a Coke and then she's all, "I knew I was completely, hopelessly, IRREVOCABLY in love with him!" (I noticed Meyer uses "irrevocably" a lot. She doesn't quite use it wrong, but it's such a weird choice that I have to wonder if she really knows what it means. I mean, why describe something - I think it was a moonlight night or something - as "irrevocably beautiful"? That doesn't really describe the beauty at all. It's not really an appropriate intensifier, either.) It was one insipid conversation in a diner! Also, Edward is totally Tom Cruise about Bella. "You're just so...amazing! You're just so different! I can't say specifically how because in 500 pages of narrative you demonstrate no personality or interests or insight, but your blood is like flowers!"

[dwanollah]

Jun 18, 2009 12:40:36 GMT -4 @marchingpenguin said:

One thing that was incredible to me was that the first book was sooooo looooong and...hardly anything happened. Like, the first three-fourths of it was all Bella whining about Edward and her high school and how Washington is too green and then in the last quarter there's a little vampire menace miniplot thrown in. I was also boggled when it was like blah blaaaahhh science class, they say two words to one another, Bella thinks he hates her, and then he saves her from thugs in an alley and they have a Coke and then she's all, "I knew I was completely, hopelessly, IRREVOCABLY in love with him!" (I noticed Meyer uses "irrevocably" a lot. She doesn't quite use it wrong, but it's such a weird choice that I have to wonder if she really knows what it means. I mean, why describe something - I think it was a moonlight night or something - as "irrevocably beautiful"? That doesn't really describe the beauty at all. It's not really an appropriate intensifier, either.) It was one insipid conversation in a diner! Also, Edward is totally Tom Cruise about Bella. "You're just so...amazing! You're just so different! I can't say specifically how because in 500 pages of narrative you demonstrate no personality or interests or insight, but your blood is like flowers!"

See, this is one of the major things I'm battling with in my own novel. It's 300+ pages, and I'm picking apart every chapter, every scene, asking the basic editorial question, "Does this move the plot forward? Does this part do new work?" And yet SM can churn out 500pgs of bad fanfic-quality drivel and... bingo!

Not that I'm bitter, jealous or pissed or anything.

[bitca]

Jun 18, 2009 13:24:32 GMT -4 @dwanollah said:

See, this is one of the major things I'm battling with in my own novel. It's 300+ pages, and I'm picking apart every chapter, every scene, asking the basic editorial question, "Does this move the plot forward? Does this part do new work?" And yet SM can churn out 500pgs of bad fanfic-quality drivel and... bingo!

Two words: Peer review!