The Etiquette Thread

[riosamba]

I have a long running dispute with one of my aunts about ballcaps, ladies, and gentlemen. It is her opinion that if a lady wears a ball cap, she must remove it indoors, just like a gentleman. She maintains that ballcaps are so masculine that their wearers must follow the masculine rule. I think since we (ladies) get the short end of the stick on practically everything we might as well make the most of our indoor hat privileges and WonderWoman and I will leave our ballcaps on thankyouverymuch. Also, hat hair. We only wear ballcaps in casual places.

MLBoy is not allowed to wear his hat indoors unless he’s with his team. All of the boys and most of the dads wear their hats to team lunches, dinners, etc., so if I made MLBoy take his off it would be akin to criticizing the rest of the group.

I’m glad those cadets got their comeuppance. There’s nothing so rude as correcting the etiquette of anyone but a child for whom you’re responsible.

[boxofrocks]

Apr 27, 2018 17:23:01 GMT -4 riosamba said:

I have a long running dispute with one of my aunts about ballcaps, ladies, and gentlemen. It is her opinion that if a lady wears a ball cap, she must remove it indoors, just like a gentleman. She maintains that ballcaps are so masculine that their wearers must follow the masculine rule. I think since we (ladies) get the short end of the stick on practically everything we might as well make the most of our indoor hat privileges and WonderWoman and I will leave our ballcaps on thankyouverymuch. Also, hat hair. We only wear ballcaps in casual places.

Miss Manners (Judith Martin) and Emily Post state that because baseball caps are non-traditional hats for women, they are subject to traditional masculine rules, such as being taken off indoors and during the national anthem.

[riosamba]

Apr 28, 2018 4:17:37 GMT -4 boxofrocks said:

Apr 27, 2018 17:23:01 GMT -4 riosamba said:

I have a long running dispute with one of my aunts about ballcaps, ladies, and gentlemen. It is her opinion that if a lady wears a ball cap, she must remove it indoors, just like a gentleman. She maintains that ballcaps are so masculine that their wearers must follow the masculine rule. I think since we (ladies) get the short end of the stick on practically everything we might as well make the most of our indoor hat privileges and WonderWoman and I will leave our ballcaps on thankyouverymuch. Also, hat hair. We only wear ballcaps in casual places.

Miss Manners (Judith Martin) and Emily Post state that because baseball caps are non-traditional hats for women, they are subject to traditional masculine rules, such as being taken off indoors and during the national anthem.

Funnily enough, we do take them off for the national anthem, and I’ve never really thought about it.. I’m not sure I can back down though, even with the invocation of the great authorities. I think my aunt would be very disappointed if I ended the dispute; she enjoys railing at us like a good natured dragon. Also, hat hair.

[Deleted]

On the rare occasions where I've worn baseball hats, which has been primarily at baseball games, I've taken my hat off during the national anthem (if I got to the game in time for it that is.) On other occasions I've only taken it off inside if my mother was there and she made me.

[chonies]

This is more of an etiquette gripe because I don't know if it's wrong but it's fucking annoying: someone I work with calls people by their professional titles and first names, like Professor Sam, Director Chris. Apparently he does it because it's more egalitarian or something, but it drives me bonkers and I shriek inwardly whenever I hear it.

[ladyboy]

That sounds so preschool, like being Miss Chonies. But it's a 3 year old saying it, so less shriek-worthy. Doctor Steve sounds like a pedophile.

[chonies]

Apr 28, 2018 17:54:21 GMT -4 ladyboy said:

That sounds so preschool, like being Miss Chonies. But it's a 3 year old saying it, so less shriek-worthy. Doctor Steve sounds like a pedophile.

I know! And seriously, why are we using titles at all in committee meetings? It sounds both pedo and servile. I'm totally happy being called by my first name. Last year on my study abroad, my students called me by my surname--I asked them to call me by my first name, but they were too formal/Southern to be about that, so we just kind of landed on the solution that worked. It was casual, but not super-cazhzhzh.

[Metairie]

99.9% of the time I wear a ball cap it is to hide my bad-hair-day hair or not-wanting-to-be-bothered hair, so it stays put on my head, indoors or not. But I'm talking Target, Whole Foods, pet store runs, not anywhere that I would be tsk-tsk'd at for wearing it. Although I'm sure there are judgey McJudgersons every damn where.

[Nysha]

On PreviouslyTV there is always a lot of negative posts whenever someone wears a ball cap in a family-style restaurant. For the life of me, I can't see why it matters. People are wearing shorts, jeans, tank tops, flip-flops, and Crocs, why is a ball cap considered the ultimate social faux pax? It doesn't block anyone's view, it's not any uglier than any of the aforementioned articles, and keeps people from having to look at possible dirty/disheveled hair. It just seems like one of those out-dated, old-fashioned rules from when people used to actually dress up when they went out in public.

[CyberCathy]

Apr 28, 2018 8:11:39 GMT -4 riosamba said:

Apr 28, 2018 4:17:37 GMT -4 boxofrocks said:

Miss Manners (Judith Martin) and Emily Post state that because baseball caps are non-traditional hats for women, they are subject to traditional masculine rules, such as being taken off indoors and during the national anthem.

Funnily enough, we do take them off for the national anthem, and I’ve never really thought about it.. I’m not sure I can back down though, even with the invocation of the great authorities. I think my aunt would be very disappointed if I ended the dispute; she enjoys railing at us like a good natured dragon. Also, hat hair.

This is interesting. I’ve never taken my ball cap off at games and I’m now reconsidering it. I think at ball games it probably runs about 50-50 for women who do.

I remember once my family and I were deciding on a place to eat and my dad didn’t like my suggestion. I inquired why, and he said he was having a bad hair day and the place I suggested he would have to remove his ball cap, vs the place we wound up at which was much more casual. I didn’t think the place I suggested was much different (although now I can’t remember what it was), but he had his code.