The Etiquette Thread

[zivvie]

Here's one: I'm going to a wedding on Saturday. My escort-gentleman friend is providing the music (piano) for the ceremony, which includes traditional music as well as music he wrote specifically for the bride and groom. From what I understand, the performance and the composition are his wedding gifts to the couple (they're overjoyed that he's performing and composed something for them). Should we do anything else, like give them a card? I'm inclined to do so. What would CPMCoG do?

[dwanollah]

A card is always good and, if you really want to spend additional money on an additional gift, it should be something small.

[Deleted]

Well, since I finally have an outlet for this pet peeve, here goes...

You're on the subway, sitting on the inside seat and have to get up for your stop. You politely tell the person on the outside seat that you're getting up. Instead of taking that minimal amount of effort to briefly stand to let you out, the person simply shifts their legs towards the aisle without rising at all so that you have to kind of climb past them. I, personally, don't like being in a position where I have no choice but to put my butt in someone's face, but apparently, these lazy train-riders would rather have that than be forced to stand up for two seconds.

And don't get me going on people who start crowding onto the train at a stop before letting the departing passengers get off.

Yes, I'm a commuter.

[dwanollah]

Don't hate me, Bonsai, but I do that... because I'm convinced that the act of standing up and balancing all my stuff will combine horridly with the act of the subway stopping, and I'll knock into 4 different people and fall over and drop my bag and-

[Deleted]

You're on the subway, sitting on the inside seat and have to get up for your stop. You politely tell the person on the outside seat that you're getting up. Instead of taking that minimal amount of effort to briefly stand to let you out, the person simply shifts their legs towards the aisle without rising at all so that you have to kind of climb past them. I, personally, don't like being in a position where I have no choice but to put my butt in someone's face, but apparently, these lazy train-riders would rather have that than be forced to stand up for two seconds.

And don't get me going on people who start crowding onto the train at a stop before letting the departing passengers get off.

Yes, I'm a commuter.

That bugs me but most of the time if the person is small enough, I can climb over them. As far as subway etiquette goes, these things bother me way more:

-You're trying to exit the car and Mr. Moron is standing right at the door. RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR. Instead of stepping out of the car momentarily and allowing you to walk out of the door, he turns sideways thereby giving you a full 5 inches to exit the car instead ot the 2 inches that were available when he was facing you. STEP OFF THE DAMN TRAIN AND LET ME PASS YOU ASSWIPE! OK, whew. Sorry about that. I just hate that.

-People with very small children (like under 5) who allow their kid to have their own seat next to them during a really crowded time of the day. Make the stupid kid sit on your lap. A three year old with an ass the size of an apple does not require all the luxurious room of a subway seat. I do. Heh.

-People who sit down in an empty row but sit on the aisle seat so that you have to ask them if you can sit by the window and they make a big production of moving over so you can sit there. This doesn't bother me too much when they're getting off at the next stop but 8 times out of 10 it's just some curmudgeonly 70 year old man who wants the whole row to himself. The same goes for people who put their bags next to them. During rush hour.

Anyway, off of the el train and onto other things. It is my biggest pet peeve when someone blows their nose at the table while people are eating. I HATE this more than anything. Please keep your mucous far away from my food. Ugh. I'm gagging just thinking about it.

[kanding]

Boy, I guess I've been lucky as far as subways go. I've lived in both New York and DC and it seems that the exiting and entering a train isn't a problem (especially in DC). People waiting to get on a train stand at the side of the doorway and kind of fan out in a loose line while people exit. Then they get on. The few times I've seen someone rush the door to get on, I've heard people remark very loudly about how tourists really have no idea/ no manners, etc.

[heyalice]

The problem with public transportion is that for $2.50, anyone can use it and that fine provided you realize that it is neither the place or time to cut one's fingernails, discuss the fate of your relationship LOUDLY on your cellphone for all of mankind to hear. And the entire point of having a personal music device of whatever variation is for your own PERSONAL use. Thank you.

What's the grace period for sending a thank you note after you've beeen invited to a dinner party?

[batmom]

My escort-gentleman friend is providing the music (piano) for the ceremony, which includes traditional music as well as music he wrote specifically for the bride and groom.

In addition to a card, it would be a lovely thought to provide the sheet music for the original composition (or a CD recording). It would be a tangible form of his gift and a nice keepsake. But other than that, no, I don't think that you need to get a gift (unless they're friends of yours, too, and you feel like you're piggybacking on your escort's gift).

I haaaate people who stand in the doorway. People do that on our buses all the time and they also don't. move. back. People! There is a bunch of room back there! Take it and stop forcing the buses to bypass people waiting at stops because there's no room up front.

[Deleted]

I have nothing against old people, honest, in fact I hope to become one one day. But I want to know why a good number of them, in departments stores and other places with escalators, get to the end and STOP DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS when they get off so they can look around for the Old Folks Department or whatever. People, I can't do a moonwalk back up or down the escalator you just got off! Please keep moving.

[Brookie]

dukeofurl said:

I have nothing against old people, honest, in fact I hope to become one one day. But I want to know why a good number of them, in departments stores and other places with escalators, get to the end and STOP DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS when they get off so they can look around for the Old Folks Department or whatever. People, I can't do a moonwalk back up or down the escalator you just got off! Please keep moving.

Duke, it's not just old farts that do it. And it's not just on escalators. Ever turn into a parking lot behind someone, only to have them stop dead in their tracks to browse for a remote parking spot or search for whatever store they're looking for, leaving your sorry ass hanging out in traffic? Then you honk at them or wave your arms or something and they get offended? People go thru life with blinders on, like race horses. God forbid you should look around and notice you are neither the only nor the most important thing going on.