Horrible Song Lyrics

[Ripley]

From Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants:

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am

I'd quickly ditch anyone who said that to me because it's never a good idea to stick your hands in the crazy.

Speaking of lame threats, I nominate The Eagles for Already Gone:

Well, I heard some people talkin' just the other day
And they said you were gonna put me on a shelf
But let me tell you I got some news for you
And you'll soon find out it's true
And then you'll have to eat your lunch all by yourself

Ooooooooo! Take THAT, Evil Ex! Clearly that's the most dire threat ever in Rock and/or Roll.

[lemons]

I don't want to defend Whitney Houston but she covered the "Greatest Love of All" so she can't be held responsible for the lyrics.

Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder doing "Ebony & Ivory".

The message is great, but that whole song is one baaaad lyric and massive shlockfest.

[polygal]

Lefty said:

\
What exactly is a Hollaback Girl? What is she talking about? Sorry if this is obvious. I hope this isn't one of those things that everyone knows and I'm the only loser who doesn't. Cut me some slack, people! I have kids under five. I'm not too up on pop culture nowadays.

Gwen was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, and said something along the lines of "a hollaback girl is whatever you want her to be." After a massive eyeroll, I determined it really means nothing and Gwen is an idiot.

[Deleted]

Awww, Ripley I hope you haven't written off They Might Be Giants. I think of their lyrics as surreal more than crazy, like audible Dali. Well, okay, maybe a little crazy. But dig these lines from later in that same song...

There's a picture opposite me
Of my primitive ancestry
Which stood on rocky shores
And kept the beaches shipwreck free
Though I respect that a lot
I'd be fired if that were my job
After killing Jason off
And countless screaming Argonauts

How many bands nowadays assume you'll get a classical mythology reference? I have to give TMBG a ticket to Props City for not dumbing me down. Plus, "countless screaming Argonauts" tickles me to death. Seven syllables of pure gold!

[kindred]

OK, my two big favourites have already been mentioned ...

That Do They Know it's Christmas song has annoyed me since I was a young girl and it was first released. No, there won't be snow in Africa. The starving Africans have more important things to worry about. And besides, millions of Africans aren't Christian and couldn't give a fuck about Christmas anyway! Gah.

And that shit is indeed B-A-N-A-N-A-S. I hate that song, but I've been forced to buy it and add it to my Cardio playlist. Damn you, Gwen and your catchy beat!

[Shalamar]

While we're on Paul McCartney, let's not forget one of his duets with Crazy Michael Jackson:

Mine, mine, mine
The dog-gone girl is mine

Mmm. Take me now, Sir Paul.

[lyrasilver]

From Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together:"

Never imagined I’d be sitting
Here beside myself

What? You were actually sitting beside yourself? I have a feeling Mariah didn't mean mean it that way, but that's the way I interpret it. Unintentionally hilarious, and also bad. Very, very bad.

[schmoosie]

I'm not saying that Aretha Franklin's Respect is an awful song...but what the heck does "Take care TCB mean?

[Ripley]

According to the Straight Dope, it stands for take care of business.

[foxyepicurean]

This may be a little late, but re: Hollaback Girl:

When I was in high school, one of the most popular cheers during basketball games went something like "go bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" repeated ad nauseum by the cheerleaders and spectators. (But at a different tempo than the song. Not nearly as cool.)

I presumed that a "hollaback girl" was a chick in the stands that couldn't cut it as a cheerleader (or leader of any kind)--someone who was happy to parrot whatever the cool kids did, even something as stupid as that bananas cheer. Since I can't seem to decipher the rest of the lyrics and I can't be arsed to look them up, that's what I'm going with.

Perhaps I'm giving Gwen too much credit. Maybe she's just really proud of her ability to spell and wanted to share it with the world. Look out for her next single, "M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I."