Pills & Pucci: Those Sex & Shopping Novels!

[dwanollah]

Jun 10, 2009 13:34:13 GMT -4 chiqui said:

I think all the fucking in the S&F novels moved over to the vampire/werewolf/supernatural ones.

Then how does that explain Twilight...?

Seriously, I may need to invest serious research in this. No one can write a sex scene like Krantz, man... and for numerous paragraphs, too!

[huntergrayson]

Strictly for research purchases, we need to call up Valet of the Dolls[/URL] and have them take us to The Valley of the Dolls[/URL] and then the bookstore.

We could call in sick to work.

I know Susann book club started out as a semi jokey suggestion but I found several online study/discussion guides.

[dwanollah]

Ahhh, hunter, do you think that I haven't already been to VOTD? But VALET of the Dolls? Dude. I'm in.

You know my birthday is in two weeks, right...?

[huntergrayson]

If they make us good price, I'm dead serious about pursuing a minor Susann/Hollywood Glam theme for the newsstand's grand opening bash.

Susann may be a gay man. Linda just said, "January, when you're making love with someone you really care about, [swallowing]'s the ultimate fulfillment and expression of love." And then when January's worried she wouldn't be able to turn Tom Colt on (since he had a floppy when they were making out prior! ZOMFG!), Linda says "there's nothing wrong with you a good F*** won't cure" and advises her to do poppers so she's superhorny.

dear jackie-Less rape please. It really hinders the aspect of fluffy lightweight trash.

Oh god, and now the soon-to-be rapist is making awful puns. January's gonna have to endure being raped doggy-style and bad puns? Now she knows what it was like to experience the FBOFW thread in its heyday.

[chiqui]

I read an article with Jackie Collins that Kris is Rod Stewart, Sade is the singer who has the Ethiopian father and that the blind singer is based on Teddy Pendergrass.

Ooooh, I never would have guessed those. I was so sure the half-black singer was Mariah Carey.

Then how does that explain Twilight...?

Well, Twilight is aimed at the teen market, parents have to feel OK about buying it, libraries about stocking it on the teen shelves. Unlike Laurel Hamilton's books (which I'm sure teens read anyway.)

[dwanollah]

Oh god, and now the soon-to-be rapist is making awful puns. January's gonna have to endure being raped doggy-style and bad puns? Now she knows what it was like to experience the FBOFW thread in its heyday.

I know Krantz is in her 70s, but I still keep wishing she'd write another novel. Sure, it'll be crap and all that, probably with a heroine who has a boyish girl's name or something ending in "i" and she'll try to be all chick-lit-y and everything, but I still want more Krantz!

Jackie Collins has really been dialing it in since, like, Lady Boss. At least Judith Krantz makes an effort instead of cutting-and-pasting stuff from previous books.

[HotLips]

I'm drawing a blank. What is the FBOFW thread?

Guess what arrived in my mailbox this morning? My OINE & TLM omnibus! Yay! I'm at the part where David Milford just told January he would like to sleep with her and she's all, "ehhh, no thanks", because she'd rather be fucking Mike. "You're too gorgeous to be called Daddy." Oooh, kaay.

[huntergrayson]

The best is when Mike kinda realizes how January is fucked up and idolizes him and tells her not to base any romantic notions on him because he was a horrible husband and absentee father - "You only know me as Mike the Daddy, you don't see me as Mike the Man" and January's all, "No, I see Mike the Man and he's wonderful."

Girl. Has. Issues.

And yet she looks down on Linda for going to a shrink.

I now have three girlfriends dying to read OINE when I'm done.

[HotLips]

THEY SHAVED HER HEAD. I love the all caps there. So dramatic.

This description is great:

Suddenly, Sunset Boulevard turned into a Fellini movie. Contessas, semi-royalty, top international models, a few real princesses thrown in. It's a world where the women are all thin, gorgeous, and titless, the men have no asses, and English is everyone's second language.

[huntergrayson]

THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS IN NEW YORK!

CHRISTMAS IN PALM BEACH!

(FBOFW - the thread about the comic, For Better or For Worse. The author had a way with puns.)

ETA: I just finished OinE - and the ending is as WTF-worthy as I remembered. I mean, I realize Jacqueline was trying to write while dying of cancer but it's a totally random conclusion.

I just started Jackie Collins's Hollywood Divorces[/I] and some stuff is bugging me. Firstly, I think one of the reasons I enjoy Susann so much is the air of distance - both of time and "older" celebs who were hot then - it makes it seem a bit more exotic & a world onto itself. Collins name-dropping things like "Ben Affleck or Matthew Mc-" or saying something is as hot as the "Blair Witch Project" doesn't do it for me. Plus, it makes it seem a bit dated already, just 6 years after it was written! Also, I am having major cognitive dissonance at having the J Lo analogue and name-dropping J. Lo.

Also, she just had a character say "Right now I gotta go talk to my old man.". Miss Collins? No one talked like that in 2003, much less a young girl who is supposed to be a 19-year old wunderkid. It's especially galling because said character looks down on another for using the word "hubby."

Oh, and the DJ playing "an extended Ja Rule track." I dunno, it just all reeks of Jackie sitting there with a martini in one hand and her pen in the other while asking her assistant, "is that what the kids today are listening to? The Ja Rule?"