Worst. Movie. Ever.

[sexlexia]

I should have left the theatre instead of watching the dreck that was Starship Troopers but my brother-in-law had driven us there and I was afraid he would leave me behind.

No one should have ever had to pay to see Howard the Duck, especially my 14 year old self who knew by then that kissing silhouettes means S.E.X. With a duck, people! ::shudder::

And if anyone knows, just how stoned do you have to be to watch a movie like Swingers? A 'friend' recommended it to us and I think we got through 20 minutes before that dvd went back from whence it came. My review? Craptastic!

[Deleted]

No one should have ever had to pay to see Howard the Duck, especially my 14 year old self who knew by then that kissing silhouettes means S.E.X. With a duck, people! ::shudder::

I must be the only person in this world who loves Howard the Duck. Maybe it's because I saw it when I was little kid. And plus, the duck is cute! Perhaps I should take this to the Unpopular Opinion thread.

Sweet Home Alabama - A bitchy, New York gold-digger returns home, treats her friends and family like crap and still gets the guy at the end! HATE!

White Noise - Gather, everyone! It's a three for one special! What is this, a movie for schizos? One part of the movie is about EVP, the other is about psychic predicition and then the end is about a murderer. What were they thinking? Horrible!

They-Whoever mentioned it above, I second that. Omg, you guys! These little goblin-like things come out at night and kill us, so you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna stay in very dimly lit places and pray they don't get us! In fact, lets just run into this creepy, dark subway station. We'll be safe there!

Van Helsing - This movie owns this thread. What a horrible, pointless dreck this was. Made specifically for those with brain damage, or those who don't care for a plot that, oh I don't know, makes SENSE.

[kostgard]

I'm pretty tolerant of crappy movies. Most of the time, I just have them on for background noise. However, there are two movies that come to mind that I thought were friggin' terrible:

The already mentioned Swordfish. My god that was awful. I love me some Hugh Jackman, but there is no excuse for this movie. I can see why they paid Halle Berry extra to show her boobs.

The other is Simply Irrestible starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. This was so bad, I think I've blocked most of it out. I just remember that there was a crab and it sucked.

[Deleted]

Is Tim Dekay is Swordfish worth at least something? I've never seen it, so I really don't know, but he must count for something, no?

[Neurochick]

The worst movie ever was Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, hands down. The movie had no plot, nearly no dialog, just car chases and things exploding and not in a good way either.

[Deleted]

Does anyone remember the crapfest, Clash of the Titans? My mother and aunt took us kids to see it in the theater when it came out. I was maybe 8 years old. It was so sucktastic, us kids heard the adults making fun and cutting up, and joined right in! My very first snark lesson. Thanks mom! Good times.

[materialgirl]

snarkylyn said:

Does anyone remember the crapfest, Clash of the Titans? My mother and aunt took us kids to see it in the theater when it came out. I was maybe 8 years old. It was so sucktastic, us kids heard the adults making fun and cutting up, and joined right in! My very first snark lesson. Thanks mom! Good times.

I must respectfully and heartily disagree. Clash of the Titans is so bad it's good. And I love Bubo, the mechanical owl.

Topic? Worst movie ever's gotta be Van Helsing tied with The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (they're essentially the same movie). I'd say that Van Helsing is worse because of those extra-crappily-CGIed flying vampiresses, but Will Kemp is so much sexier than Stuart Townshend, so they're about tied.

[cyclonevkc]

The remake of The Truth about Charlie with Wahlberg.

Oh Lord. The scene where he and Tim Robbins are wearing berets in a standoff is just hilarious.

honey, you couldn't be more right! Anyone that remakes Charade with Marky Mark playing Cary Grant's role should be shot. Don't even get me started about the other roles. I suppose it doesn't help that I LOVE Charade.

My vote goes to Batman and Robin. We watched it back in school in my friends' dorm room, with music on, while drunk. Still couldn't make it through more than 40 minutes. What a pile of crap.

[Deleted]

So many bad movies, so little time. I will actually go see a movie that has a near-zero rating (make that "rent" or "watch when it comes on TV") just for the curiosity factor. So I gleefully watched Battlefield Earth and Gigli and Spice Word just to see how bad could they could be. I was always slightly disappointed.

It's the ones that take me by surprise in their badness that really piss me off. Like Coyote Ugly. Stupid, stereotypical story, paycheck-only performances, $5 editing, and coyote-howling-ugly music. I was furious after seeing that one.

[tacoflavored]

The only time I ever walked out of a theater was 30 minutes into Very Bad Things which yes, lives up to its title and then some. It tries and fails miserably at finding the "darkly comedic" aspects of gory deaths/murders (accidentally impaling a hooker on a bathroom hook, etc.) and the ugly side of humanity. Plenty of movies have more actual gore and violence but only in VBT is it so shockingly inappropriate (after only 30 mins, no less!), given that it's intended to elicit laughs. Blech.