Mayim Bialik

[Deleted]

OT but, if you all don't mind, I am curious: What do you do/think about IRL anti-vax friends? Just avoid the topic, put it out of your head as much as possible, and keep being friends like normal? Avoid them now that you know they are kookoonuts? Is it like politics -- you can be friendly, but you can't be actual FRIENDS with someone that believes trickle-down economics works?

[iClaudia]

I just avoid the topic as much as possible. The friend in question is a hardcore conspiracy theorist so it's as much about vaccines being some government conspiracy as belief in them being unsafe. It's not even worth discussing rationally. I just kind of accept that she is kookoonuts and enjoy her other qualities. We've been friends since high school and, at this point, she's more like family. So, it's just like dealing with my family's lack of tolerance when it comes to gay rights. I might draw the line at trickle down economics but, at least, economics can be discussed rationally if the other person is not just a zealot marching in lockstep. I think that's the hardest part - not being able to discuss issues because the other person is fanatical.

[Hamatron]

Apr 1, 2014 10:37:36 GMT -4 pathtaken said:

I also give Mayim extra side eye for her OVERBOARD attachment parenting. A friend of mine has a five year old that has been brought up this way. He can barely leave his mother's side to attend kindergarten. She and her husband have no alone time, if they announced a divorce I would not be surprised.

That's sad, because at that age kids start to really enjoy being around other kids and making friends, and that's also critical to their social development. Co-parenting sounds like codependency, which isn't healthy at any age. I have a friend who wouldn't describe what she is doing as co-parenting, but a lot of the behavior is there, and her kid is REALLY struggling socially outside of his relationship with his mom now that he's in preschool.

Also, I only know one anti-vac person. They are an idiot. She frequently posts anti stuff on FB without bothering to read that the piece she's posting is pro-vac. She gets shut down a lot.

Actually, I also have a friend who is from a small town, and her former best friend there is a nurse. I guess they spent a weekend together recently where it came up, and the nurse's stance was "I just don't know! I don't trust vaccines and the info out there is so confusing!" Although my friend was drunk, and works in HR, she proceeded to shut this woman down with actual science. Like, seriously? You're a nurse. Maybe you should keep up on the science of this stuff, so you can talk to patients like... a nurse when it comes up.

[Deleted]

Yeah, I just have the one anti-vax friend (well, one who is "out" and occasionally vocal about it). I just never bring it up (which is easy for me as a child-free person), but I do sorta wish to. I am dying to know precisely why she makes that decision. But this isn't something I can see us having a dispassionate conversation about (we're not that close).

[Auroranorth]

I don't have any that I know of- most of my friends are sane in this regard.

[narm]

I know a few people that very strongly feel their child's autism was directly caused by vaccinations. One woman in particular has a very difficult time with accessing resources and with her child's school. I just don't say a word. There is no way for me to say anything that won't sound callous or condescending, so I just keep my mouth shut and hope that folks see her for what she is- a mom that is angry, grieving and searching for answers as well as support- and also hope that no one makes decisions based on what she says.

There is no changing her mind, ever. One could show her the redacted Wakefield study (it is kind of chilling to see in print) and it doesn't matter. So I just avoid it. It's not like we will ever be best friends, anyway. Sometimes it is just better to let it go than create more pain for someone, IMO. And I do believe any objection from me (or anyone else) would result in pain for her. She is a good, loving mom that fights hard for her kid, every day.

I do know some other medical-field types (DOs, chiropractors, PTs) that are strongly anti-vax that are best friends (and I mean taking family trips together, etc) with vehement pro-vax types, so I just kinda nod along with my pro-vax friends but don't die on that hill, either.

I'm very firm in my support of vaccinations elsewhere, though. I've found that people that are anti-vax just don't want to hear it, for whatever reason.

[ladyboy]

I can't stand the anti-vax people. I know one woman who was anti-vax but we clashed on numerous other topics as well. I find the anti-vaxxers to be incredibly selfish and pretty stupid in general so since I didn't like her generally I wasn't particularly generous about her anti-vax stance. I made a stink that she hadn't told me her kid wasn't vaccinated when I had an infant I was bringing to the school, and that potentially exposed them to pertussis. She went all cow-eyed and hemmed and hawed but didn't really have anything to say.

She was also the parent I bitched about in another thread who had such a snit about snack at the preschool that we had to talk to our freaking lawyer about it/how to handle her because she was so unstable we thought she was going to sue us or smear us in the local press. Seriously. Snack. At a preschool. She was off the rails looney. I feel like her type (and it is a type) is using vaccines/organic food/etc as a way to control life - it's like the anorexia of parenting. Or, if you were going to use Hollywood pitch-speak to describe it, it's like the anorexia-meets-Munchausen by proxy of parenting.

TOPIC: I need more details on Mayim's overboard attachment parenting. What exactly does it entail? How old is her kid(s) and what is she doing to them (besides not vaccinating them)?

[prisma]

I worked with someone who was into attachment parenting and her kid is unable to exist without her. She's 13 now. I joked that it worked a little too well.

[kostgard]

Anti-vac is one of my triggers too. I saw Mayim on Bill Maher and she seemed smart and reasonable, but the anti-vax BS is making me give her major side-eye.

I can't believe people are still following it when the study so much of it is based on and the doctor conducting the study have been completely and thoroughly debunked. Not to mention more recent studies have found that kids with autism have brains that are different from neuro-typical brains when they are still in the womb (long before they get any vaccines). More evidence that the anti-vax stuff is total horse puckey.

And I have to side-eye Mayim extra hard because she's a PhD. She should know how to read data. She's not an idiot.

[Beyle]

Apr 1, 2014 23:19:25 GMT -4 kostgard said:

Anti-vac is one of my triggers too. I saw Mayim on Bill Maher and she seemed smart and reasonable, but the anti-vax BS is making me give her major side-eye.

I can't believe people are still following it when the study so much of it is based on and the doctor conducting the study have been completely and thoroughly debunked. Not to mention more recent studies have found that kids with autism have brains that are different from neuro-typical brains when they are still in the womb (long before they get any vaccines). More evidence that the anti-vax stuff is total horse puckey.

And I have to side-eye Mayim extra hard because she's a PhD. She should know how to read data. She's not an idiot.

This is what most frightens me too. However, I do think she's an idiot for the anti-vax and the attachment parenting thing because it seems like she's taken that pretty far too.

You can be book smart and lack common sense. I've known quite a few people who are like that.