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Post by seat6 on May 20, 2021 22:36:07 GMT -4
That expression always reminds me of Richard Belzer (Homicide, Law & Order) whose father abused his mother very badly throughout his childhood. When the cops came, they told his mother to think about what she was doing wrong and said, "It takes two, Mrs. Belzer." No, abuse and misbehavior don't "take two". This is neither here nor there, and your point stands, but I thought it was Belzer’s mother who was the abusive one. Maybe the dad abused the mom and the mom abused the kids? |
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ahah
Landed Gentry
Posts: 734
May 18, 2021 10:34:59 GMT -4
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Post by ahah on May 21, 2021 8:53:00 GMT -4
That expression always reminds me of Richard Belzer (Homicide, Law & Order) whose father abused his mother very badly throughout his childhood. When the cops came, they told his mother to think about what she was doing wrong and said, "It takes two, Mrs. Belzer." No, abuse and misbehavior don't "take two". There are exceptions to the statement, no doubt. But in most divorces, it took two people for the marriage to fail. Totally okay with people disagreeing - but that's my experience. |
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Post by Ginger on May 21, 2021 9:11:18 GMT -4
This is neither here nor there, and your point stands, but I thought it was Belzer’s mother who was the abusive one. Maybe the dad abused the mom and the mom abused the kids? I looked it up - I think I was confusing Belzer with Patrick Stewart! |
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Post by ladyboy on May 21, 2021 9:44:43 GMT -4
That expression always reminds me of Richard Belzer (Homicide, Law & Order) whose father abused his mother very badly throughout his childhood. When the cops came, they told his mother to think about what she was doing wrong and said, "It takes two, Mrs. Belzer." No, abuse and misbehavior don't "take two". There are exceptions to the statement, no doubt. But in most divorces, it took two people for the marriage to fail. Totally okay with people disagreeing - but that's my experience. Completely disagree with this. For example, if someone cheats, they're the one breaking the marriage. The person who was cheated on doesn't have to carry the weight of repairing the relationsip if they don't want to, or if the cheater isn't putting in the effort to make it work. If one person isn't doing the work in the relationship, they're the one making it fail. To expect the other partner to carry their load, and shoulder the responsibility for their failure, is wrong. If one person checks out, they've made the marriage fail. Not much the other person can do, beyond put on a show for the outside world that things are fine. And what's the point of that? Bringing this on topic, I have no idea about either of these people, but it seems like from what I'm reading that John cheated. No one is required to "fix" a relationship with a cheater. If you're cheated on and want to walk, because the disrespect is not something you want to live with, then do it. Same for a drug user. If you don't want to live with that, where you are always second tier to the habit, there is no requirement that you have to suck it up and stay and "fix" them. Society wants to say you have to, but really, it's your life, and you don't have to live a crappy one because someone else is making bad choices that are affecting you. So if that's why his wife is done, power to her. |
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Post by scarlet on May 21, 2021 10:10:41 GMT -4
Taking cheating off the table, he's an addict. Living with an addict is HARD. Living with a relapsed addict is HELL. There's no way that half the responsibility for his sobriety is on her, and if that's what broke the marriage up, it's on him. I understand it's a disease and I empathize with him and wish him well, but that doesn't make it on her if the marriage failed.
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Post by Ginger on May 21, 2021 10:37:53 GMT -4
Taking cheating off the table, he's an addict. Living with an addict is HARD. Living with a relapsed addict is HELL. There's no way that half the responsibility for his sobriety is on her, and if that's what broke the marriage up, it's on him. I understand it's a disease and I empathize with him and wish him well, but that doesn't make it on him if the marriage failed. The way he described his previous bout with addiction (from about age 13 - 25) he was an absolute monster, and not anyone it would be possible to date successfully, let alone be married to. She took a chance when she married him, frankly. He seemed like he was in such a different place that it was hard to imagine him ever returning to it, even if intellectually, they both must have known that relapse was a possibility. He didn't just relapse slightly, he turned back into a drug-gobbling monster who functioned in a state of perpetual blackout. No marriage would stand a chance of withstanding that. If he'd married someone else, that other woman would probably be going through the same thing Anna is going through now. He said in one of his shows that at his intervention, Nick Kroll missed an email that said to keep things positive, and instead ripped into him. It's a good friend who will tell the truth because unlike a lot of others at the intervention (Seth Meyers, Bill Hader), Kroll has been there the whole time and has seen it all. |
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hellsbells
Landed Gentry
Posts: 803
Jun 9, 2007 10:03:44 GMT -4
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Post by hellsbells on May 24, 2021 6:32:46 GMT -4
Taking cheating off the table, he's an addict. Living with an addict is HARD. Living with a relapsed addict is HELL. There's no way that half the responsibility for his sobriety is on her, and if that's what broke the marriage up, it's on him. I understand it's a disease and I empathize with him and wish him well, but that doesn't make it on her if the marriage failed. 100 percent this. John was an addict and relapsed. That would put a strain on any relationship. Add to that he started a relationship with another woman. There is NO way she's at fault here. In their prior day to day dealings, they may have had problems. It takes two to work on the marriage and fix it. In this case, it just took one to implode the whole thing. Look, I'm a fan of Mulaney. I love his stand up and watch everything he does. But he was a shit to his wife and has some big problems. I know nothing about Munn, but for her to start a relationship with him in the midst of all this chaotic living sounds like enabling. And I can't imagine they'll have a long term successful relationship. |
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Post by OnyxRose on May 24, 2021 10:12:51 GMT -4
I don’t really have anything to say but I just realized his name is misspelled in the title so don’t know if that can be edited.
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mandasant
Blueblood
Posts: 1,012
Feb 19, 2007 14:13:03 GMT -4
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Post by mandasant on May 24, 2021 19:00:58 GMT -4
Now I miss Mulvaney.
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Post by OnyxRose on May 24, 2021 21:19:17 GMT -4
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