Macauley Culkin

[spinsterliz]

He is really fug. He was a cute little boy, but now he looks like a space alien. I remember when I was in fifth grade circa 1992, a bunch of girls in my class were in love with him and thought he was sooo hot. Somehow I don't think many girls today find him hot.

He wrote a book called "Junior" and when I read an expert in the newspaper I cringed with embarrassment for him. I believe it's a book of essays, and he writes sort of like Rosie O'Donnell writes on her blog.

I feel sorry for him that he had to hang out with CMJ when he was little. I remember seeing a picture of them on a tabloid and CMJ was hugging Macauley and wearing a face mask. Creepy shit.

[lallybroch]

Is he the biological father of Michael Jackson's first two kids? CMJ had that creepy obsession, he and Jacko are still friends and those children sure didn't get that blond hair from Michael.

[aiders]

Is he the biological father of Michael Jackson's first two kids? CMJ had that creepy obsession, he and Jacko are still friends and those children sure didn't get that blond hair from Michael.

Oh my god, all of a sudden, I am positive this is true.

[hobocamp]

spinsterliz said:

He wrote a book called "Junior" and when I read an expert in the newspaper I cringed with embarrassment for him. I believe it's a book of essays, and he writes sort of like Rosie O'Donnell writes on her blog.

I read about half of "Junior" before sending it back to the library. It's not quite Rosie bad, but it's crap. I think I posted in the "Books I've Thrown Away" thread that it's like reading a boring stranger's journal.

[niddlemiddle]

I don't know, for a child star, that was forced into this business by his parents, he seems to be doing ok.
Maybe I'm wrong and he's addicted to meth or something... didn't he date Natasha Lyonne or am I getting him mixed up with the kid from The Terminator?

[celebrityfly]

niddlemiddle said:

I don't know, for a child star, that was forced into this business by his parents, he seems to be doing ok.
Maybe I'm wrong and he's addicted to meth or something... didn't he date Natasha Lyonne or am I getting him mixed up with the kid from The Terminator?

I believe that was Eddie Furlong.

[dwanollah]

*bump*

[Deleted]

Sorry about that, I searched three times before I began the new thread ...

MAC'S LI'L KOOK BOOK
Sure, the child star's had a rough life - but who knew he was 'Jacko' wacko
Macaulay Culkin doesn't speak to his estranged father, Kip. The two haven't exchanged a word since 1997.

There's a lot Culkin, now 25, wants to say to the controlling dad whose hubristic mismanagement derailed a movie career that once pulled in $8 million a picture.

So the former child star penned a cathartic stream-of-consciousness collection of journal entries, drawings, poems and letters called "Junior."

We've seen a reviewer's copy of the book, due to hit stores March 15, and it appears the former child star has spent way too much time home alone.

OK, Macaulay, spit it out. What's on your mind?

"Dear dad," he writes in one entry. "f- -k f- -k f- -k f- -k f- -k f- -k . . ." and on and on with saturation f-bombing for two pages.

What is this, a transcript of Mac's primal scream therapy?

Here are a few other bizarre musings from "Junior" :

n "Imaginary, not inflatable, women are okay."

n "I am the reason for everything that is, and the end-all be-all of beef jerky.''

n"I cried about a steak sandwich one time."

n"Did you know I have a pet name for my penis [Floyd]."

Then there are the wannabe meta-ironic, yet staggeringly uninteresting bon mots from the twisted mind of Macaulay, including:

n"Drink orange juice, because it's good for you."

n "I don't know what the word 'urban' means anymore."

n"I ... watch ... television."

n "Lonely Tony Mosconi likes eating pepperoni minestrone with Rice-a-Roni while fighting Moses Maloney."

At $22.95, the mostly autobiographical "Junior" is the latest in a string of unchallenging vanity tomes from celebrity non-writers like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, cashing in with their core audience: people who don't read.

In the roman-a-clef voice of "Junior," Culkin describes an abusive father who "woke me up by dragging me out of bed by my face" and who "got very angry and began shamelessly beating my mother over the head."

Of easy sex: "Do you want to hear the best pick-up line I ever heard? 'Nice shoes, wanna f- -k?' ... but these sexual conquests only mean so much ... there comes a time in every man's [woman's] life when he [she] must come to terms with his [her] penis [vagina] and I think I've done just that."

And on the subject of suicide, his alter-ego writes: "I could cut my wrists. You're supposed to do it long-ways, not slant-ways ... There's a million ways to do it.

"I prefer my cup of pills. I like them hidden away from the world. For now that's my right way to do it."

Other choice items are a Things To Do Before I Die list that includes "Live in France" and "Enter a pie-eating contest," and entire pages containing only a single word, like "punchline."

At its most bizarre, the book is almost amusing, as in a crudely drawn cartoon about Deacon and Mildred - Deacon gives Mildred a flower, then Mildred chops off Deacon's head.

Or this poetic jab at Hollywood greed: "Drifting eyes may fall upon you; full of lies and wheatgrass too."

In 1990, the can't-miss kid's blockbuster comedy "Home Alone" raked in a staggering $285 million in domestic gross, putting it in "Star Wars" and "Indiana Jones" box-office territory.

"Home Alone 2" pulled in another $170 million, and by age 12, the mini mega-star had amassed an estimated $17 million.

Then the bottom fell out. After so-so receptions for "The Good Son" and "Richie Rich," Culkin disappeared completely.

Much of it was blamed on the custody battle between his parents, and their ugly fight over control of Mac and his actor siblings' money.

But even as younger brothers Kieran and Rory gained acclaim in indie flicks like "Igby Goes Down" and "You Can Count on Me," Macaulay didn't make a single movie between 1994 and 2003, when he appeared in "Party Monster," the disappointing tale of club-kid murderer Michael Alig.

His marriage at 17 to actress Rachel Miner lasted only two years, ending in divorce in 2000.

Reports of bizarre behavior and drug use were rampant, as the once cherubic kid from "Uncle Buck" and "My Girl" grew more gaunt and despondent.

Last year, Culkin hit rock bottom - getting busted driving across Oklahoma in a car full of marijuana and unprescribed Xanax.

His most notable appearance in recent memory was testifying for old pal Michael Jackson at the Gloved One's molestation trial. Culkin is godfather to Jacko's firstborn.

It's not easy growing up in the spotlight, and it's a sad story that Macaulay's life went off the rails. But you won't be reading about that story in "Junior."

Instead this is the kind of soul-searching introspection Culkin offers to his readers: "Sometimes I feel like a 3-foot-tall, poverty-stricken, homosexual, handicapped, 50-year-old Muslim woman with AIDS."

Thanks for sharing, Mac.

[e-mail]

[chiqui]

He was such a cute kid....

[csmolko]

I somehow manage to remember only Home Alone and My Girl and cut off the rest of his existence there. I've been pretty successful so far.