The Etiquette Thread

[Sunnyhorse]

Anne, I don't think it's out of line to call one of the hostesses to find out how the mom and baby are doing and make sure that the shower's going to go on as scheduled. If things are really hectic with the baby still in the NICU, they'll probably be glad that you took the initiative to check.

[dwanollah]

Agreed. And it may not be anything dastardly, health-wise, with the baby, but just that the new mother is going to be too tired for the next few weeks to deal with being the guest of honor at a shower.

[Deleted]

I have a question - how long should one keep a Christmas gift that has never been exchanged? My dad's ex-GF (they were together for 11 years, and she's the mother of my half-sister) was supposed to meet up w/ me in the days following Christmas last year. She never came, so I put her wrapped gift on a shelf by the door and waited for her call. She did call a few times (she also has gifts for my girls), but ended up blowing us off time and time again. Now, it's coming up on Christmas again, and I still have her last year's gift. What do I do w/ it? Keep it around, getting all dusty and being in the way until she decides to grace us w/ her presence? Also, do I get her another gift for this Christmas, or just say, "Screw it," and assume she's going to blow us off again?

As an aside, we have never gotten together right after Christmas for our gift exchange. She lives over an hour away, but comes to visit my sister a couple times a week, and my sister lives right in the next town, so there's no reason she can't call when she's around. She can stop over or I could bring the girls over to my sister's house whenever. Our earliest get together to exchange Chrstmas gifts was the Wednesday evening before Easter one year. We usually find eachother in the spring or summer, but it almost seems like she doesn't want to be bothered w/ us. What should I do, Miss E-Manners?

[sleepy]

I would say get rid of the gift if it's just being clutter. You can always go out and get something if she calls you to arrange a meeting.

Another thought: can you mail it to her?



Also, I'm sorry you're getting the blow-off from her. I hope that's cool with you and doesn't hurt.

[Deleted]

So it's ok to get rid of it? I feel rude, but it's not like she wasn't being rude to me by standing me up so many times. I was a lot closer to her when I was younger, but we had a falling out of sorts right after I started dating Mr. Bones, and we didn't mae up until my wedding day. My sister was caught in the middle of it and actually dropped out of my wedding party (she was the maid of honor. Luckily, we made up much sooner than my wedding day, but not until after I had asked my best friend to be my MoH. My sister did volunteer to read a nice Bibe verse, thought). It's been over 8 years since we started talking, but our lives have been seperate and we're both pretty busy. It's more of a running joke between Mr. Bones and I, more than hurt feelings. She did run into Mr Bones and my two oldest girls at a convinience store a few weeeks ago, and the girls (ages 4 and 7) didn;t recognize her. You reap what you sow, right?

Oh, I don't think I would mail it to her. It's a lead crystal vase w/ beaded wire wrapped around it. Too fragile, I think.

[Oxynia]

BagofBones, I suggest you use the vase as this year's Christmas gift to her and if she still doesn't make an effort to see you, then that's it. You can always give it to someone else. Why bother buying something else this year? And why waste a gift you've already bought you? You've already done your part in being considerate, it's her turn now.

[zivvie]

Here's a wacky etiquette dilemma from my job at the pub last night. I had a table of three, two men and one woman, and the woman was definitely the significant other of one of the men. The dilemma? The man with the significant other clearly started to flirt with me. I noticed it right away, and I tried to deflect it imediately, but the man's attentions were unmistakable. I was very nice and paid attention to the other man and the woman as much as I could - is there anything else I shoulda/coulda done?

[batmom]

Probably not, since telling a guy to knock it off it isn't really possible. So long as you don't flirt back or neglect the other patrons (which you didn't), you handled it okay. It's really his gaff and it's for his girlfrield to smack him upside the head for it (assuming that she's bothered by it).

[jennipoo]

My fiance's father flirts shamelessly with waitresses. No other women, just waitresses. I think some people think it gets them better service.

*Not discounting your ravishing beauty, zivvie.

[Auroranorth]

zivvie said:

Here's a wacky etiquette dilemma from my job at the pub last night. I had a table of three, two men and one woman, and the woman was definitely the significant other of one of the men. The dilemma? The man with the significant other clearly started to flirt with me. I noticed it right away, and I tried to deflect it imediately, but the man's attentions were unmistakable. I was very nice and paid attention to the other man and the woman as much as I could - is there anything else I shoulda/coulda done?

I always hated that when I was waitstaff or working in a store. I think you did everything you could- I usually just ignored it if possible or turned it into a joke if it wasn't.